Come to Me Quietly(110)

I wanted to tell him.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me, his eyes squeezed tight. When he opened them, he acted as if what had just passed between us hadn’t happened. “You need to get dressed. Christopher is going to be back soon.” He leaned down and gathered up my clothes, handing them to me with a forced smile. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”



I nodded, swallowing down the emotion that constricted my throat. “Okay.”



He turned away and I watched as he climbed into the shower, this beautiful man who broke my heart and made it whole.

I quickly re-dressed. Vacillating, I paused, looking back to where he stood veiled behind the shower curtain. There were so many things I needed to say, but I had no idea how to get them out. I didn’t know if they would hurt him or heal him, if he’d run or if he’d stay.

I let myself out into the apartment, combing through my damp, tangled hair with my fingers. I barely had time to fill a glass with water before Christopher was unlocking the front door.

God. What was I doing? Keeping this from my brother? From my family? Keeping what I really wanted from myself? But how could I have him any other way?

“Hey,” Christopher said as he kicked open the door.

“Do you need some help?” I asked, setting my glass down on the counter and coming around to where he’d dropped the bags at the front door.

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Thanks.”



Leaning down, I gathered a few sacks and stood back up.

Then froze.

Blood drained from my face and flooded through my chest to squeeze my heart. It swept through me whole, leaving me weak in the knees. My attention locked on the two people mounting the stairs.

“Oh, good, you’re both here.” Mom was all smiles when she hit the landing. Augustyn trailed her two steps behind.

Tension twitched Christopher’s shoulders when he registered her voice, a subtle tic of his muscles as his eyes shot to my face. His panic was just as thick as mine.

Christopher rapidly blinked, then slowly stood up and turned around. “Mom, Aug, hey, what are you doing here?”



“We were running some errands nearby and thought we’d see if we could catch you two. Thought maybe we could go grab some lunch together or something.” Mom didn’t hesitate to take Christopher into a huge hug. “I’ve missed you.” She rocked them a little as she squeezed, then stepped back to hug me.

Aug and Christopher shook hands and clapped each other on the back. “Hey, man,” Christopher said, “how’s practice going?”



“Good… really good. Can’t wait for the season to actually start next week.”



Christopher kept glancing at me while he talked, as if asking for help, stalling. I could see him plead with his eyes. What do we do?

It was our dad Christopher had wanted to keep this from, the news that Jared was back and staying with us. But I wasn’t sure how Mom would react, either.

Part of me knew she needed to know. I just wasn’t sure this was the right way for her to find out. I’d imagined Christopher taking her aside, letting her know Jared was staying with us, that she’d ask questions and want to see him and she’d slowly ease Dad into the idea of him being back in town… into the idea of him being back in our lives. None of us had spoken about him in so many years I had no idea where my mother’s thoughts lie or the way she felt.

It was wrong. We had betrayed him in the silence of our words.

But our mom was kind. I knew that, and now I had to trust that she would understand.