Collided: Dirty Air (Book 2)(92)

“I thought we were on the same page.” His look of pity adds to my distress.

“Forget the same page. We’re not even reading the same book.” Everything hurts inside of me. My body can’t cope with Liam’s inability to recognize his feelings for me. His wounded face pulls an ounce of pity from me, tugging at my aching heart.

I may be stupid enough to have fallen in love with him, but I’m not blind to the way he looks at me, or how he fucks me, staring into my eyes like he wants to hold on to the moment.

Looks like Liam got his wish because he gets to keep his contract. All at my sacrifice, blowing my friendship to hell, with me along with it.

Liam turns back toward our abandoned campsite. He shakes his head at my offer to help as he grabs everything and shoves it in the trunk. The empty plot of sand mocks me, not a single shred of evidence lingering where I broke my own heart. No bloodshed or shattered pieces are visible to the naked eye.

Absolutely nothing.

A perfect symbolism of the emptiness inside of me.





32





Liam





I stroll into the Bandini pit garage, finding Maya and Noah making out while Sophie has her back turned.

“I hope you realize I have better things to do than wait around while Noah shoves his tongue down your throat.” Sophie’s voice carries over the loud activity of the pit garage.

Maya groans before pushing Noah off her. She heads toward Sophie, who has yet to notice me.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Noah’s voice prompts Sophie to turn around.

My chest tightens at the sight of her scowl before she turns back toward Maya.

“I want to steal Sophie away for a moment.” I brush off the way Maya looks at me with shocked eyes.

Sophie turns on her heel and exits the garage. I follow as she leads the way, her blonde space buns shining under the sun as she takes up a spot next to the pit wall.

She looks at me with a bored expression. “You needed something?”

“Don’t be that way. Please.”

“Like what? An ex-lover? Why not, when I fit the role so well, filling Claudia’s shoes and then some.”

It takes everything in me not to growl. “Do not compare yourself to her. Ever. You know it’s not like that between us.”

“Last time I checked, it looks very much like that, except I didn’t throw a shoe at you because I’m not batshit crazy.”

“No, you’re not. Like I said, I really like you and I care a lot about you. If you don’t want to have sex, fine. But don’t pull the plug on our friendship because you’re afraid of me.”

Her eyes glisten, her only tell of distress. “I’m not afraid of you. I pity you. You’ll have to live with regret when I move on. And I will, eventually. But love takes time, a concept you don’t understand, let alone empathize.”

I ignore the burning sensation in my chest at the thought of her with someone else. “Then why are you ignoring my calls and texts? If you’re not afraid?”

“Because thinking about you makes my heart ache in ways I didn’t think possible. Because I’m weak around you and I’d give in to one last time between us. But most importantly, because I love you and you stomped all over my dream of ever feeling that back from you.” Sophie whispers the last sentence, nearly gutting me.

Silence greets us like an unwelcome third party. I don’t know what to say, let alone how to express myself. Fear eats away at my strength, aware that I want to be everything for Sophie but knowing I can’t.

Sophie scoffs, not giving me a chance to say anything. “You know what? Fuck this. Screw love, screw people controlling me, and screw me for being so fucking gullible.”

She storms off toward the Bandini offices, a flustered Maya following behind her.

Noah strolls up to my side. “Maya and I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she wanted to check on her friend.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course, you both did. Did you come here to offer some wise advice now that you’re in a happy relationship?”

“Cut your shit, Liam. Don’t be a dick to me when I’m offering to help you. I never loved my best friend, and I never thought of having a girl version in the first place. The closest person to a friend is Maya, and we know how that ended up.” He fights his smile.

It’s an unfamiliar sight on him, his broodiness replaced with a lightness I didn’t think he had in him. I despise it because I want that for myself, but I can’t because I’m a selfish shit. Losing Sophie while securing a McCoy contract doesn’t feel as good as I would’ve hoped.

Noah ignores my stewing emotions. “Anyway, you went about things differently, like usual. But honestly, man, you’re fucking up by not trying out a real relationship. If I could, I’d kick myself in the balls months ago for not giving my relationship with Maya a chance sooner. For not confronting my fears and moving past my self-centered ways. Instead, I caused her pain. All I’m saying is I’m lucky she gave me a fucking chance because now I can’t picture ever going back to our old lifestyle.”

“Well, if Sophie keeps avoiding me, I guess I’ll be ruling next season with Jax by my side.”

Noah shakes his head. “Don’t be an idiot. What’s holding you back? For fucking real this time?”