Chasing Spring(25)

She smiled and flipped her book down onto her chest to mark her page.

“He's all wet,” she said, glancing over at me.

I rested my head on the doorframe. “We were outside when the storm started.”

She nodded, dragging her hand up Harvey's snout, over his head and behind his ears.

I thought of asking her about the book she was reading, but I had something I needed to do.

I turned and headed into the room across the hall, closing the door after Harvey had followed me inside. It was late, but that didn't stop me from pulling my phone out of my pocket to call my dad. I figured he might be awake, but after it rang and rang and he still didn't answer, I left a message.

“Hey Dad, this is Chase. I haven't talked to you for a few days so I wanted to catch up and see how you were doing. Everything's good at Lilah's house, but I was wondering if we could go to dinner or something this week. Give me a call back if you get this.”

I hung up and stared down at my phone, wondering if he'd ever be sober enough to check that message. Probably not. I tightened my fist around the cheap phone and then threw it onto my bed. It bounced off and hit the stack of boxes in the corner, the boxes I tried to avoid.

I bent to retrieve it and caught sight of Elaine’s name scrawled in Sharpie across the bottom box. It was there every time I glanced at the boxes, a daily reminder of the woman I hated most in life. I took a pen from my desk and scratched at her name, covering it with angry black strokes until I couldn’t read it any more.

She didn’t deserve to be remembered, not by me.





Chapter Twenty-Nine


Lilah





Lunch was the hour that had brought me the most anxiety during my first week back in Blackwater. Our school’s cafeteria was small, suffocating, and operated like the English class system. I avoided it at all costs, opting instead to explore my options. The women’s bathroom proved quiet, but smelly. The locker room was comfortable, but awkward when the junior girls had to change for P.E. Eventually, I’d stumbled upon the nature center in the back of the school and had fallen in love. None of the other students ventured out there unless they were required to go for a science class. It felt like a hidden gem that only I knew about, my own secret garden.

The school did a terrible job of maintaining it, but that made it even better. The overgrown trees and shrubs concealed me away as I traversed the short path toward the bench I’d designated as my lunch spot since the Friday before. No one knew I was out there—not Ashley or Trent—so when I heard a twig snap behind me, my heart kicked into overdrive. I froze and twisted around to find Chase standing in the clearing behind me, holding his hands up in surrender. His worn jeans and old raglan t-shirt pushed up to his elbows only seemed to enhance his harmlessness.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked before taking a hesitant step forward.

Truthfully, I didn’t want company, but he was already there, stepping toward my bench. He’d already infiltrated my secret hideout, so there was no point in pushing him back out. I shrugged and turned for the bench to take a seat.

My ears perked up as I listened to him approach. He stepped around the bench to take a seat beside me, momentarily replacing the scent of nature with his cologne. I gave myself two deep breaths before I forced myself to think of something else, like the field of wildflowers in front of me, overgrown with bright red petals.

“Second week back and you’re already breaking rules?” he asked.

I ignored him and pulled out my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Why do you eat lunch out here?” he asked, staring out at the field alongside me.

“So people like you won't talk to me,” I answered with a little smile so he’d know I wasn’t a total bitch—just enough of one.

He laughed and I fought to keep my gaze off him. “Y'know, my favorite thing about you is your charm. I don’t think you get enough credit for how charming you are.”

I chewed on my lip, trying to interpret if he was being sarcastic or not. Either way, I relented.

Tilting my head toward him, I answered, “I don’t really want to sit in the cafeteria for an hour every day.”

“But your friends are in there,” he pointed out, trying to get to the real explanation.

“Friends is a relative term,” I answered, picking up a small stick from the bench and tossing it out onto the ground.

He smirked. “Yeah, they kind of suck.”

“Eff you, those are my friends…” I said with a smirk.

I hadn't talked to any of them since Sasha’s party on Saturday. I'd avoided the stoner-tree and Trent’s texts. It felt good to have a break from pretending to like people.

“Am I your friend?”

I picked a particularly bright poppy and focused on it like my life depended on it.

“That word never really worked for you,” I admitted, feeling my heart rate quicken.

He nodded. “It wasn't enough.”

The weight of his words threatened to undo the tiny string that tied my heart together.

“Or it was too much.”

“You know, in a lot of ways, I still know you better than anyone,” he continued.

I hiked up my brows and turned to face him. His gaze was focused on the flowers, but that grin was ever present.