Chasing Spring(21)

I stretched my legs and crossed my feet as Chase took a seat beside me.

Silence hung between us as I waited for him to speak first. When he didn't, I bit the bullet.

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

I peered over to see him watching the bonfire. The shadow from the flames danced across his features.

“Why are you with Trent?”

“I'm not.”

He grunted in disbelief.

“We’re not dating. He just wants to sleep with me. Not that it’s any of your business.”

Chase cursed under his breath and leaned forward to rest his forearms on his legs. His hands were clasped together so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“You shouldn’t ask questions if you can’t handle the answers,” I spat with narrowed eyes.

He shook his head. “He’s not enough for you.”

“I’m not asking for anything more.”

“You should be.”

I leaned forward to match his posture and we let the silence wrap around us once again. It'd been so long since we'd just sat together. It felt like I was taking a trip down memory lane and the comfort pulled questions out of me that I hadn't thought about for years.

“Why aren't you as messed up as I am, Chase? After everything that’s happened?”

The edge of Chase's mouth curved skyward. “You're not messed up.”

I looked away.

He continued. “I decided a long time ago to just live in the moment, to forget the past and just exist in this”—he pointed to the ground—“exact moment. Believe me, it’s not easy. I have a dad that can't sober up to raise me and you had a mom that couldn't sober up to raise you.”

I bit my lip, listening to his words and wondering if I could ever apply them to my life. “We're a regular afterschool special.”

He finally peered over at me. “Yeah well, this is life. Not everyone gets a happy ending.”

I laughed sadly. “So then why do you insist on trying to give me one?”

He took a moment to answer my question, but when he did, I listened to every syllable as carefully as possible. “It’d be a damn shame if all this turmoil was for nothing. Don’t you think?”

I stared into the fire and nodded, letting his words sink in before I spoke up again. “What if I’m past the point of return?”

His hazel eyes scanned down my face. “You aren’t. You just need a little help.”

I rolled my eyes. “And you think you’ll be the person to help me?”

He smirked and leaned in so that I caught a whiff of his cologne. “I can definitely do a better job than Trent.”

My eyes fell to his lips as he leaned in, dangerously close. Half of his features were illuminated by the firelight and half of them were cast in shadows. It was a dangerous image: Chase dipping into the darkness to help pull me to the light.

“What are you doing?” I asked with a shaky breath. I wanted him to kiss me, to finish leaning forward and press his lips to mine. It would have stolen my breath, I knew it.

“Hey Chase, Kimberly needs your help,” a voice called from the back door, interrupting our moment. I glanced up to see Connor standing in the doorway, waiting for Chase to get up. His eyes shifted to me and he shrugged apologetically.

Of course Kimberly needed him.

I closed my eyes and built reality back up around me. Any hope of Chase and I ending up together was based in delusion.

“Duty calls,” I said, pushing up off the bench and walking away from the bonfire. It was the first real moment I'd had with Chase in two years and I’d been so close to letting him in again, so close to closing the gap between us and kissing him senseless. But Chase had said it best: this was our story and happy endings are few and far between. We’d forever be moving in opposite directions—after all, he was the golden boy, and I was the lost girl.





Chapter Twenty-Four


Chase





I watched Lilah go back inside and felt her slipping away even faster than before. When she’d arrived with Trent, I’d moved toward her without a purpose. I’d touched her hand, and I’d mentioned her old nickname like I was trying to jog her memory.

I’d managed to pull her away from Trent for a few minutes and I knew I was getting through to her, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more time.

I stood and shoved my fingers through my hair, restraining an annoyed groan.

“Were you about to get it on with Lilah?” Connor asked with a smirk.

I shoved him, hard. “You’re pushing it.”

His eyes widened and he held his palms up in surrender; I'd never once yelled at him like that. “Whoa, whatever man. Just come help. Kimberly is drunk and throwing up in the bathroom. She keeps asking for you.”

When I walked inside the house I scanned the room for Lilah, but she wasn't in the living room, which meant she was probably off somewhere with Trent. I balled my hands and followed Connor.

We found Kimberly in the master bathroom, leaning over the toilet with her blonde hair spilling out around her. When she heard us walk in, she turned toward me with a dopey smile.

“Chase! You came!” she exclaimed before breaking into a fit of laughter. Brian sat behind her on the lip of the bathtub, wrestling with himself. He watched her with concerned eyes, which were magnified by the fact that he’d had a thing for Kimberly for as long as I could remember.