Chasing Abby(65)

Nothing I do will ever compare to Abby’s ability to tap into my parents’ deepest emotions. No one can ever compare to the girl who got away.
Not even Ryder or Junior can compare to her, but it doesn’t seem to bother them. Just thinking of this makes my stomach twist. My inability to compare to Abby is getting to me, and I’ve been unable to brush it off like my dumb younger brothers. What does that say about me?
“Turn around.”
“What?”
“Turn the car around. I have to go back.”
Sydney looks at me like I’m crazy. “Did you forget something?” I reach for the steering wheel and she bats my hand away. “Okay, okay! I’ll turn around.”
When Sydney pulls the convertible into the driveway, I’m relieved to see Caleb’s car parked next to the garage. I tell Sydney to go home to Cary and I’ll call her later. I race up the back steps and into the air-conditioned beach house.
“Abby!” I call out, but no one answers.
I dart up the stairs and into my bedroom. My chest aches when I see her black suitcase next to the rollaway bed. I check the rest of the house, but she and Caleb are nowhere. There’s only one thing I can think to do right now. The only thing I think will show Abby that I’m done trying to prove a point.
I lift her suitcase onto my bed, then I carefully unpack all her belongings, putting everything back where it was. I put the suitcase back in the basement, then I strip the linens off the mattress and toss them into the washing machine. It takes me about forty minutes to figure out how to fold up the rollaway bed, and another ten minutes for me to haul it downstairs into the garage.
There’s no way I can move the furniture in my room around by myself, but I’m sure my dad and Caleb can do that later. I pack up some of my clothes and shoes in a gym bag, tossing in the toiletries I keep in my private bathroom. Then I toss the bag onto the bottom bunk in Ryder’s room. Finally, I grab all Caleb’s stuff and move it out of Ryder’s room and into mine. Then I write a note for Abby.

Abby,

I know the past week has been hard for you. It’s been pretty hard for me, too. I thought I knew how I would feel when you got here. I thought I’d be happy to have an older sister. And, to be honest, when my mom first called me to tell me you came home, I was so happy I cried tears of joy.But within seconds, those tears of joy turned into tears of grief for what I’d lost. When you arrived, I lost my status as the only girl. My dad’s only princess. And instead of being honest with my parents, I decided to take it out on you. I hoped that if I made you feel bad enough, you’d leave and everything would go back to normal. But I was wrong. Nothing will ever be the way it was before you got here.And I’m actually happy about that.I’ve watched my parents suffer for too long. My dad doesn’t know I know this, but he has been praying for you to come back to him for eighteen years. That’s a long time to want something, or someone. I don’t want to ruin this summer for you and especially not for them.I’m sorry I tried to push you away. I’m sorry I wasn’t the kind of sister or person you needed me to be.I hope you’ll accept this apology and my room for the rest of the summer.

Love,Jimi


Chapter 27 - Abby


CALEB AND I manage not to piss off any beachgoers, but we agree that we’d better not stick around and press our luck. After our interesting dip in the ocean, we trudge back to the beach house in our wet clothes. Every time Caleb squeezes my hand, my stomach vaults as I remember how he moved inside me. Caleb was inside me! How weird and cool is that?
But as soon as the beach house comes into view, I suddenly remember what drove me out of there and onto the beach. I hope Jimi left with her friends. I really don’t want to face her right now. She’ll probably smell the sex on us and flash me a knowing smirk.