Chasing Abby(14)

“Slow down, sunshine.”
I sigh as I push him away. “Let’s go.”
“Hey, don’t get mad. I’m just trying to keep you from getting too excited.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it a million times. Just take me home.”
I open the passenger door and he slams it shut before I can get inside. “I know you’ve heard it before, but can you please not make me feel like a total * for trying to keep you safe?”
“I’m not going to have a heart attack from kissing you!”
“I know that, Abby. But there are things I want to do with you… to you, and I don’t know how your body will react. You can’t expect me to not be afraid.”
I lean back against the side of the car and he lays his hands flat on the glass, boxing me in. “Things you want to do to me?”
He chuckles as he leans in and lays a tender kiss on my jaw. “Yes. I want to…”
My hands reach forward. Finding his solid chest, I grab fistfuls of his T-shirt. “You want to what?”
His lips travel from my jaw up to my ear. “I want to taste you.”
He traces his tongue along the edge of my earlobe and I tighten my grip on his shirt so I don’t collapse. “Okay, okay, that’s enough.”
He pulls his head back to look me in the eye. “Are you okay?”
I nod quickly. “Yes, but I have to go home.”
He smiles and kisses my temple. “Pretty soon we’ll be at NC State and we’ll be going home together.”
I sigh as I kiss him on the cheek. “I can’t wait for the summer to be over.”


Chapter 8 - Lynette & Abby

The day of
Abby’s eighteenth birthday

I LOCK THE BEDROOM door and head straight for the closet. Today is the day I’ve been dreading for eighteen years. I wish I had it in me to throw away that box of photos. But, as much as I fear not measuring up to Abby’s birth parents, I have a greater fear of watching Abby live the rest of her life feeling broken and betrayed by me.
I slide the closet door open and look up at the shoebox on the shelf. It’s a large box. Brian wears a size fourteen. Despite his size, Brian has the most gentle heart of anyone I’ve ever known. I know his need to share these photos with Abby is largely inspired by guilt.
Brian was badly electrocuted after seven months at his job as an electrician. He was just nineteen years old and he was told by his doctor to get fertility testing when he was twenty-three. He didn’t meet me until he was twenty-five and I was twenty-one. We got married three years later and immediately began trying for a child. After five months with no success, I was baffled.
I’d had an abortion my sophomore year in college, and I began to wonder if the abortion had damaged me. Then, Brian remembered his doctor had recommended fertility testing to him almost ten years earlier. It was a huge blow to his ego. He was twenty-eight years old and unable to father his own children. It was devastating to both of us, but he took it especially hard. He even offered to divorce me so that I could be with someone who wasn’t defective. In the end, we decided to adopt.
It took four years, $67,000, and countless tears for us to become parents. So, yes, it was extremely disheartening and terrifying when Abby was just four months old and we were contacted by Chris Knight’s lawyer. This was the man whose music I listened to while cooking dinner, and he was asking to be a part of my daughter’s life.
At first, I didn’t see how it couldn’t be a good thing for Abby. It was Brian who was looking into the future and seeing all the times Abby would go running to the Knights, the beautiful, rich couple who would probably never feel the need to discipline Abby. They’d leave that part to us, so they could remain the good guys. At least, this is how Brian saw the future if we agreed to an open adoption. I think he was right.