Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(114)

“If I could get out of it George, I would but something’s come up with some business I have going on in Amsterdam and I need to fly over and sort it out, I only found out myself a couple of hours ago that I was going.”

“It’s okay.” I lie “You go and sort out your business. I’ll talk to you Monday.”

“I miss you George, have a good weekend.”

“You too Cam, bye.”

“George, I… nothing, I’ll see you Monday.” I end the call and wonder why, once again, I want to cry?

I walk quietly into the bathroom and watch Sean in the shower, he’s standing with his back to the water, it’s hitting the top of his head and bouncing off his shoulders, his head is tilted up to the ceiling, his eyes are closed and he’s singing. I shudder and close my eyes as the desire I feel at the sound of his raspy voice unfurls between my legs, making my muscles tighten and my heart speed up as I listen to him sing. I’ve never heard of the song but as I listen to the words, I think I know what it is.

I tried, I really tried but it was only ever you.

All these years, all the tears, it’s still only ever you.

What we did, the things we said, they’re still always on my mind.

There’s no one else, there never was, it’s still only ever you.

The sweetest smile, the bluest eyes, the taste of you, on my tongue.

You’re in my heart, you’re in my head, right where you belong.

All the others, they never mattered, they don’t come close to you.

Wish you was here, wrapped in my arms, my heart aches just at the thought of you.

All the others, they never mattered, none of them come close to you.

The things they write, it’s all bullshit and lies

Because it’s still only ever you.

You’re the only one that can make me complete but I let you down, I f*cked it up

Our lives were planned and with one stupid act, I blew it all away.

My lies were white, my heart was black

I got just what I deserved when you never came back

But still…

You’re in my heart, you’re in my head, right where you belong.

I want you here right by my side, I want you real, a distant memory just ain’t the same

There’s nothing left, my life’s gone to shit and I’ve only got myself to blame.

I get on stage, I sing my song but all I want, all I need, is to have you back, where you belong

With me…With me…Always…With me.

I undo the shower screen door and step in beside him, he opens his eyes and looks at me, the water is bouncing off of him, his shoulders, his broad chest and I sway with the emotion of it all.

He pushes my hair off my face and sings in a whisper, “Where you belong, with me, with me, always, with me.”

His mouth comes down hard on mine, he spins me around and pushes me against the hard tiled wall of the shower, he slides up and in me all in one move, I wrap my legs around him as he holds onto my bum cheeks and presses me between the wall and his hips. Still kissing me hard on the lips; he breaks away and pushes my hair off my face. “Fuck I love you Georgia Rae and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life proving it.”

We have bed sex after we have shower sex so then I have to have another quick shower, which I insist on taking alone so that the cycle doesn’t start again. We strip and remake the bed, then jump into Sean’s white Range Rover and go to my flat. He calls Len from there and thanks him for letting us stay and arranges for us all to go out tonight, apparently it’s been a while since the boys were all in the country at the same time so they want to catch up, that’s what last night was supposed to have been about and it was, till I fell through the front door. Sean then calls Marley to see if he would like to join us for dinner, which he does. You would think that being the world famous, jet setters that they now were, we would be heading to some swanky restaurant in the West End or the city but no, this is Sean and my brothers and all they want to do is head into Upminster to their favourite Indian, which is the very same Indian I go to most Saturday nights.