Calmly, Carefully, Completely(95)

I pick up the phone and call my parents, and they put me on the speakerphone. I can’t talk about it for long without breaking down. Mom is noticeably upset, and Dad wants to drive to the city to be sure I’m all right.

“I’m fine,” I tell them. “I’m hanging out with Pete’s family today. So I’m not alone.”

Dad grunts.

“Dad,” I warn.

“Fine,” he says. I can tell he’s biting his tongue.

“I miss her already, Dad,” I say.

“I know,” he says softly. “She’s been with you a long time.”

I can hear Mom crying softly in the background.

“Who’s going to protect you?” he asks. “Maybe you should come home.”

“Dad, I’m fine.”

Matt grins at me and winks. I have a feeling I have the whole Reed clan to take care of me, if I ask them. I hang up with Dad while he’s still protesting, and I settle back against the seat. Matt turns up the radio, and we get all the way to the cancer center without him saying much.

Then he turns off the car and takes in a deep breath. “Now or never,” he says.

I get out of the car with him and walk inside. The staff knows him by name and greets him at the desk. “I’m here to see Kendra.”

She points over Matt’s shoulder, and I see three kids sitting in the waiting area. One is older, maybe sixteen or so, a boy, and he’s holding a small child in his arms. She can’t be more than three. And there’s a young girl about Hayley’s age in the chair beside them. He’s reading a book to both the girls. “Seth?” Matt asks. The boy looks up, confused. He sets the littlest girl in the floor and gets up. Matt extends his hand, and they talk quietly. I can’t quite hear them. I go to the vending machine and get some gum, and then take it back and offer the two little ones a piece. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to win over small children. “Don’t swallow it,” the oldest girl says. She shoves the little one in the shoulder.

The little one grins. “Oops,” she says, and she sticks her tongue out so I can see her empty mouth.

“Oops,” I repeat, and I go pick up the book they were reading. “Can I read your book?” I ask.

They nod and climb into a chair on each side of me.

“Reagan,” Matt says. “Will you be all right here for a few minutes?”

I nod and smile.

“Can I go?” the little one chirps.

“Not right now,” Seth says. He sits down and heaves a sigh. He sounds much older than he looks.

I watch as Matt walks into a nearby room. He stops in the doorway, startled, and I see his head fall. He walks to the bedside, and as he walks over, the door shuts slowly behind him, leaving a view of him walking to the bedside, where he drops and lays his forehead against the woman’s knee. The door snicks shut on its own, and I can’t see anymore.

“How are things going?” I ask Seth.

“They’re going,” he says. He nods toward the little ones, and I see that they’re watching us closely. I get it. He doesn’t want to talk about his mom right now.

Suddenly, there’s a flurry of activity at the door, and a woman walks in. She’s wearing a pencil-thin skirt and a jacket, and she’s carrying a purse that probably cost more than these kids eat in a year. She runs to the desk on her four-inch Louboutin heels, and they clack against the floor. She stops, shoves her rhinestone-encrusted sunglasses to the top of her head, pushing her blond hair back, and asks for Kendra’s room. She runs inside, and the door closes behind her, too.