CROSS (A Gentry Boys Novella)(42)

Stone glanced at me curiously when I opened the window and extended my hand. Silly though it was, I reached for those rainbows. I unbuckled my seat belt so that I could reach further. Roe had told me that if I ever had a chance to catch a rainbow then I should. As my hand closed I imagined I succeeded and a feeling of utter peace washed over me as I shut my eyes.

“Ah, shit,” Stone cursed as he sped up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can’t shake this f*cker.” He pointed to the old Chevy that surged beside us.

Benny Cortez’s goofy face was behind the wheel. He was a year younger than us, the brother of Tony Cortez. “C’mon Gentry,” he shouted cheerfully. “Let’s race.”

“Fuck off!” Stone yelled.

“First one to the light ain’t a chicken shit!”

“Not tonight, man.”

Benny didn’t hear or wasn’t listening. He gunned the engine and sped up, cutting us off. Stone cursed and slammed on the brakes, narrowly avoiding slamming into the Chevy. Benny switched lanes, fell back beside us. He laughed as Stone shouted a slew of curses and cut the wheel sharply to the right.

Looking down, I noticed my hand was still closed in a fist. I slowly opened my fingers, staring. A light, a brilliant light, came from the center of my open palm and it gave me such joy because I had done the impossible. I had captured a rainbow. I couldn’t wait to tell Roe.

Then there was a terrible sound, unnatural, like a tree screaming.

Then a voice, Stone’s voice, saying my name again and again.

Then…nothing.





FOUR MONTHS LATER….





EPILOGUE


CONWAY



If love looked anything like smoke then I would have easily choked to death in this wall to wall parade of the shit.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind I scolded myself for such nasty feelings. Feelings like that had no place here. There was love everywhere at Chase and Stephanie’s wedding reception. Cord was standing on one side with his wife Saylor and their two little daughters. Creed was on the other side with his wife Truly and their newly adopted baby son. Chase couldn’t stop kissing his pregnant bride. And then Deck and his girl Jenny danced in each other’s arms even though there was no music that I could hear.

I sat alone. Chase had offered a spot for the date of my choice but I didn’t want to clog up his wedding guest list with some dumb girl I didn’t give a shit about. Deck had made me transfer to the local high school since I was living with him and his fiancé. I didn’t put up a fight because I would have been an ungrateful ass not to act like I was doing at least the bare minimum when they were good enough to take me in. But my heart wasn’t in it. Funny thing about school though; the more I tried to make myself invisible the more girls draped themselves across me like static cling. Mostly I gave them what they wanted and earned a few minutes of ecstasy that blotted out the pain. But when it was over I could barely look at whatever girl I’d just f*cked. Whoever she was, she didn’t matter to me.

The only girl who’d ever mattered was underneath some dirt in the Emblem Memorial Cemetery.

I didn’t go to Erin’s funeral. I never visited her grave. It seemed there was less and less of her every day as I rejected all memories, good and bad. I didn’t hold her responsible. But I had no place to put all the love that was attached to her so I let it die.

Cord’s little daughters - my nieces, though no one knew it - ran past with shrieks and flowers. The sight of their linked hands made me smile. Two joyful little spirits, born to be best friends. My smile fell away. I hoped to god that life wouldn’t take them from each other.

Deck was watching me. He did that a lot. He hovered, like a dad, like he knew that was what I needed even though I usually brushed him off. I gave him a slight wave with my index finger to let him know I was all right. He nodded but still looked anxious. Pretty soon he and Jenny would probably come back to the table and urge me to eat, try to get me to smile. I loved them for that, for trying. I’d do my best to cooperate, even if was just for show. I owed the whole Gentry family at least that much.

Usually I managed to avoid reflecting on the terrible events that had brought me to where I was. But tonight, in the middle of all this agonizing family tenderness, I couldn’t help but think about it.

The triplets had been the ones to find me on Main Street the night of the accident. They said I’d been screaming. They said I’d punched a light pole. I knew it was true because I’d worn a cast on my hand for six weeks and it still hurt to make a fist.

That was the night that took Erin from me forever.

That was the night my mother washed her hands of her sons for good.

That was the night Stone was hauled away in a police car because the law said he had to pay for what he’d done.

I had to take everyone else’s word for the way things had gone down because I didn’t remember much. Everything about those last few weeks in Emblem, the last few weeks of childhood and of happiness, now has a hazy quality. If I squinted I might be able to see a little more clearly but I didn’t want to. The agony was already bad enough as it was.

The judge who’d sentenced Stone was unusually harsh because he’d lost a niece to a street racing crash. Stone wouldn’t be offered parole for at least four years.