Burnt Devotion (Imdalind, #5)(42)

I didn’t want to say goodbye.

I didn’t want to run away from her with this lie in my heart, either.

I was probably being selfish.

She was essentially leaving to sacrifice herself from what I understood. I just wanted to shoot the breeze about kids and love affairs she never knew I’d had.

She smiled sadly as the sky broke open in a roar of thunder, the storm that had plagued us for days only getting worse as the final moments ticked down. Joclyn looked away from me at the sound, and I didn’t wait. I bolted, running away from her and Ilyan into the forest after my disabled party like the coward I was.

I couldn’t look at her anymore.

I had been avoiding her for days because I couldn’t find the strength to talk to her, to spill my guts.

And now it was too late.

The wrong time. The wrong moment.

She needed to focus on what her and Ilyan were about to do.

I hoped I would get another chance.

Thom stood a few hundred yards into the tree line away from the abbey, the tall conifers hiding him and the others on all sides. Dramin had already found a sturdy fallen tree to sit on, and his body looked as aged as it had last night. Being out of bed obviously wasn’t doing him any favors. Sain hovered around him like a nervous mother, and Ryland … Ryland was hitting his head against a tree.

We were already off to a great start.

Thom looked up to me as I approached, my head held high as my fingers buzzed in the tips, ready for the release that I hadn’t been able to give them these last few days.

“Ready to kill some of my cousins?” I said with a smile, glad when Thom laughed at a joke I had made far too many times before.

I chose to ignore the grimace that lined the Draks’ faces. I couldn’t walk on eggshells all the time, and right now, I needed to have my head on straight if they expected me to get them through this. As a result, they would have to deal.

Besides, Ilyan and Joclyn were already waging their own battle in a mad attempt to distract Edmund’s armies enough to let us get out of there. I wasn’t about to waste that.

It only put everyone else in danger.

“You mean other than Edmund’s little puppets?” Thom said as he came right up beside me, his laugh fading much quicker than it normally would have. “I think we have a problem.”

“You mean, besides the fact that we have to travel through piles of armies to get to a cave with three basically useless invalids.” I didn’t even try to keep the mockery out of my voice.

“That and neither of the Draks can shield themselves.”

I looked at him like he had cancelled a Styx concert all on his own. Murder showed through my eyes. I was sure by the way Thom took a step back, his hands plunging into the pockets of his leather jacket.

Great.

“Shielding ourselves was the only thing we had going.” I tried not to yell, but I was not positive it worked.

“Well, we do always have the option to turn ourselves in. I am sure Edmund would love that.” His voice lingered on eruption, the emotion only increasing as thunder rumbled above us once more.

Double great.

An angry Thom, a quickly unraveling Ryland, and some Draks.

I was feeling like this exciting challenge was heading more in the direction of massacre. I didn’t think we would be on the massacring side, either.

Triple great.

“I guess we will have to run as fast as we can.” It might have been a simple suggestion, but it was the only option as far as I could see.

We couldn’t change the plans in formation. Sain needed to stay with Ryland and try to keep his mind somewhat stable. Well, at least stable enough that he wasn’t resorting to self-mutilation. That poor tree was looking a little too battered as it was. And Thom was the only one physically capable enough to drag Dramin through the forest.

“And hope that Ilyan’s plan will work…”

“It will work.” I was confident, while Thom was not, and the loud, obnoxious laugh that rang through the forest proved it. I keep myself from glowering at him.

“Have Ilyan’s plans ever not worked?” I was obstinate, but I didn’t care. His lack of confidence was grating on me. Everything might be dire, but we didn’t necessarily have to act on it … right? “Don’t be so cynical.”

I didn’t know if I spoke more to him or to myself.

Maybe both.

Everything Ilyan had always led me through had been rocky, yes, but successful. That said, this was more than the normal hiccups. This was a drunken man’s belch as far as problems. I wasn’t ready to admit that.

I glowered at him and popped my hip out, ready to chastise and fight him on it. However, as I opened my mouth, another bolt of lightning dragged across the sky. This time, in streaks of red as Ilyan’s magic blended with it in a roar of anger and power from wherever Ilyan and Joclyn waged their war.

I stared at the light, the angry beauty of it tensing through me as my magic roared, rejoicing in what was coming.

We couldn’t wait any longer.

I couldn’t be more excited.

“Time to break out the bubbly and get this crazy train moving.” I gave Thom one last look in warning or irritation—I wasn’t sure—and he moved away, everyone taking their place as if this was some grand orchestrated event.

If only.

I didn’t even dare look at them. I began to run, hoping beyond hope that they were following behind, that they could keep up and that the Trpaslík couldn’t keep up at all.