Burnt Devotion (Imdalind, #5)(16)

Our brother.

Thom sighed and pressed Wyn against him in farewell. Dust fell around us like rain, the abbey rumbling right alongside it. Then, without out another word, he stood and moved toward the door, his dreads swinging wildly with the movement.

“You coming?” Thom asked before he had moved more than a few steps.

I froze at the question,

“I’m sorry?” I could barely get the words out. He couldn’t be talking about me, could he? He shouldn’t be. Putting me before Ilyan right now would be madness.

Thom only laughed. I guessed madness was his forte.

“He’s your brother, too. You know, family sticks together and all that. One of the many lessons our loving father taught us.”

“But, it might … I mean … I know why he’s…”

“So do I.” Thom spoke sadly as he looked toward the sound of breaking glass and crumbling stone. The first real sighting of emotion in him seemed very out of place against the tough biker guy that stood before me.

“I would only try to kill him.”

“Your choice. Soon, you will have to get to know who your family really is.” He began to move before he had finished, leaving me cowering against the wall with Sain’s hand firmly on my knee, the pressure keeping me in place more than anything.

“Sain”— Thom turned as he stood in the doorframe, his forehead wrinkled in an emotion that didn’t quite meet his eyes—“will you take Wyn back to her room … or at least pretend to? We all know she has no intention of staying there, after all.”

His voice was so flat I couldn’t be sure if he had spoken in jest in or in truth, but Sain only laughed and nodded in agreement.

I didn’t know what to make of Thom. He was far too quiet and sullen for me. The idea that we shared a father, that we were related, seemed a little too ridiculous.

Thom stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket then walked out of the room in a shuffle, his shoulders hunched as if he had been born with a hump.

I watched him go, the voice growing steadily louder as I fought it, fought the pull to follow Thom out of the room, though I knew it was an impossibility. I knew I couldn’t fight the voice for much longer.

No matter how hard I tried.

You should kill him, too.

Thom and Ilyan.

You should kill them.

I should?





Four


As if Thom had somehow known exactly what Wyn had in mind, she left moments after he did. However, unlike Sain had said, he made no move to stop her.

She had stared into him in some silent conversation I didn’t even try to follow before she had slowly pushed herself to standing, her weak body leaning heavily against everything we were surrounded by in an attempt to get to Joclyn, to handle the aftermath of the fight with her boyfriend in some ridiculous best friend way that movies liked to pretend they understood.

Months ago, I would have been the first to stand, the first to offer her my arm and lead her out of the room to wherever her destination was, but not now.

Not anymore.

Now, it was all I could do to focus on the chill of the stone wall I pressed my face against and keep my body from rocking, my hands from clawing at my hair.

At least I was trying. At least I was able to.

The small moment of clarity that Wyn had been able to give me had granted me that. Even if everything was loud and confusing, I could remember what sanity felt like now. I had a goal to work toward, no matter how simple it seemed.

I already knew it would be much harder than even I understood.

Until Ilyan had expelled Ovailia from the Abbey, I had been under someone’s control from the moment I had found Joclyn’s mark. For months, I had been trapped in a prison with bars and monsters that were controlled by my father and one of his pawns. What was more, despite the fact that the bars were gone now, despite being in the care of someone who should have been deemed safe, the monsters were still there.

I was still locked inside of my own head, trapped with the voice that plagued me.

Stop messing around! Get up. Find her.

She doesn’t love me anymore.

I know. That’s why you need to stop playing around.

Kill her.

I can’t.

Do it now.

You heard me.

Kill her.

I groaned, a long throaty exhale that rattled my chest and filled the air with more pain. The pressure of Sain’s hand against my leg increased at the noise, and the touch sent a jolt through me with a jerk, the movement going through me like a live wire.

“What is it, Ryland?” Sain’s voice was lined with that same paternal calm that I had learned to love, that had calmed me from the very first time I had heard it.

My focus turned to him before darting away again, and my heart rate picked up to a speed that felt both painful and impossible.

Tell him.

When the voice rattled through my head, I couldn’t stop it. My hand moved to tangle through my hair while my stomach tightened in defeat and fear. I tried to focus on the chill of the stone, the pull of my hair as I had always done. While it did its job, it still wasn’t enough. I continued to hear my father’s voice echo in my mind, his laugh rattling through my soul in such a way that it only brought more fear.

Fear not only for me, but for those around me, as well.

I was sure he was standing right beside me. I could almost feel his hand on my back, prompting me to find and kill them.