Broken Juliet(66)

“Oh, I see.”

He stops kissing me. “What?”

“This is about Connor.”

He kisses back up from my neck to my face. “He’s a douchebag.”

“No, he’s not. He’s never made sexual comments about me.”

“Exactly. That’s the problem.”

He leans on his elbow and brushes my hair away from my face. “I can cope with all those other dicks talking about how much they want to sleep with you, because that’s all it is: talk. But Bain? That * doesn’t just want to bang you. He wants more. He genuinely likes you.”

He says it with so much disdain, I laugh. “That bastard! I can see why you hate him so much.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Oh, you can laugh, but every time you talk, he gets a sappy expression on his face that makes me want to punch him. He’s crushing on you big-time, and I swear to God, he needs to stop.”

He goes quiet, but I see the cogs of his brain turning. I trace his eyebrows, trying to get them to unfurrow.

“Ethan, I’m not interested in Connor. I’m interested in you.”

It feels strange to reassure him. It used to come so easily to me, but now the words scrape like sandpaper in my throat. Still, it must work because his attention is now fully back on me.

He lifts an eyebrow. “How interested?”

He cups my breast. Gently rubs his thumb across the nipple.

I inhale, quick and shallow.

“Very.”

It’s getting hard to breathe. He does this so easily, it’s scary.

He bends to kiss the swell in his hand. Soft lips. Open mouth. “Tell me again how much you missed me over the summer.”

I try to form words. “I missed you a lot.” Too much. Don’t make me regret it.

The other breast isn’t forgotten. He’s just as gentle there. “On a scale of one to touching yourself and picturing my face?”

“It was up there.” I grip his hair, needing more.

“How high?” He adds teeth. Just a little. Just enough.

I arch, and my voice is tight as I say, “It hovered around I-missed-you-so-much-I-renamed-Buzz-Ethan.”

He comes back up to my face. “Good. Just the right amount, then.”

I kiss him, and he pushes between my legs as he breathes hard against my lips.

“Do you see what you do me?”

He kisses me, deep and slow, then moves down to where my neck meets my shoulder.

“I’m thinking if I use my tongue in exactly the right way, I can give you a hickey that reads, ‘Cassie belongs to Ethan. Step the f*ck off.’”

He starts sucking, and I squeal. “Ethan Robert Holt! Don’t you dare give me a hickey!”

“Shhh. I need to concentrate to get this right.”

“Ethan!”

He sighs and rolls off me, and I laugh when I see the massive tent that is now formed above his crotch.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Laugh at what you do to me, then negate all efforts to show other guys you’re mine. That’s fair.”

I kiss him and reach under the covers to address his problem. He inhales as I wrap my fingers around him and pushes down the sheet so he can watch.

“We were broken up for over a year,” I say. “If I’d wanted other guys, don’t you think I would have had them?”

He pants in time with the rhythm of my hand.

“You dated Nick.”

“Barely. You had nothing to be jealous of.”

He presses his head into the pillow. “He kissed you at that party. I had everything to be jealous of.”

“Yeah, well, you made up for it later that night, didn’t you?”

“God, yes.” I don’t know if he’s answering my question or reacting to my increasing pace. Doesn’t matter. He closes his eyes, and the conversation’s over.

For long minutes I watch his face as I bring him pleasure. How he could possibly be jealous of any other man, I’ll never know. I get that he has issues about being adopted, as well as his track record with women, but how does he honestly not understand just how incredible he is?

When I was in high school, I remember a friend of mine confided that her boyfriend didn’t think she was pretty. I couldn’t understand that. When you love someone, they should appear beautiful to you, no matter what they look like.

As I watch Ethan’s face, I realize he might be insecure about other guys because he doesn’t love himself enough to see how truly spectacular he is.

As if to illustrate my point, he arches his back and lets out a long moan as he comes, and in that moment, he’s the most beautiful, sexy, magnificent man on the planet.

To me, anyway.




Dr. Kate pauses, no doubt picking up on my building tension.

“Did you ever talk to Ethan about his self-esteem issues?”

I rub my eyes. “No. Not really.” I should have, but I didn’t.

“But you reassured him on occasion?”

“Yes. Probably not enough.”

“For people with low self-esteem, it’s hard to ever give enough reassurance. How much would Ethan have to give you now to make you believe you were special?”

I’ve lost track of how much reassurance he’s given me since he’s been back. “I see your point.”