Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(34)
A variety of topics enter our conversations while we cooking and eating lunch. Though I’m not a complete kiss and tell kind of girl, I do give most of the juicy details about my encounter with Chris and Molly.
“Would you sleep with him again,” Nathan asks.
“Most likely if I saw him again, but I’d have to be careful,” I answer truthfully.
“Because of Caleb?” Maggie inquires.
“God no. Please, I can handle him,” I firmly insist.
“He’s into her. Wants more than just a couple of good f*cks,” Jared declares.
“Really?” Nathan questions.
“I saw it in his face every time we saw him since Ayana’s opening and again last night, especially after they returned from their adventure,” Jared confirms.
“Yep,” I validate Jared’s statement and observation.
“Why not just date the guy,” Nathan challenges.
I reply with a you’re kidding me right look.
“Yeah . . . Emma date. When Hell freezes over . . .” Jared chuckles and I quickly join his amusement.
“You really still don’t want to date,” Nathan says with a slightly worried tone.
“Nope,” I affirm with sternness.
“You don’t think you’ll ever date, even when the three of us are married and with kids?” Nathan probes.
I shake my head in response causing the mood to become a little cloudy.
I know that anything can be possible, especially the thought of Nathan and Jared being married at some point — even if it’s not to each other. However, the thought of letting anyone in that close freaks me out. The idea of even just losing the three of them terrifies me to no end. I don’t know what I would do if I lost one of them. I’m not heartless, I just don’t want to allow any chances of my heart being broken for any reason.
Oblivious to the shift in the mood, Maggie chimes in, “What about Joe? He’s cute and totally into you.”
Jared cracks up at her suggestion as I just eyeball her and remind her of my habits. “Seriously, Maggie? You know my rules.”
With a confident smile, she throws at me, “Well, rules are made to be broken. Besides, Nǎinai has blessed you with love, a husband and children.”
I cringe at the memory.
“That’s right,” Jared adds, proud of Maggie’s moment as he hugs her.
“Nǎinai is never wrong, Emma,” Maggie affirms while getting more laughs from Jared and Nathan.
“End of discussion,” I instruct, a little miffed at their statements.
I know they mean well overall, but I’ll decide my love life.
The rest of the day, the four of us and Sadie go out to spend some time at the park before shopping. When we eat dinner back at the condo, we curl up together to play some board games and then watch a movie. I am surprised at the three of them wanting to keep it low key for the evening as the night progresses. I’m more surprised with Nathan and Jared than Maggie. They must really want to be on their game tomorrow for volleyball — that or they plan on having more sex.
Jared joins Nathan in his room after the movie and Maggie and I move to the bedroom that we’re sharing. I wonder if things are starting to change between Nathan and Jared again. They’ve always been so cool and calm around each other, but there’s something different. I don’t know how to explain it. Regardless, I’m happy for them.
While Sadie falls asleep in the middle of the bed, Maggie and I sit up for another hour before turning off the lights. She’s trying to recount all of her conversations with Henry for me. I’m not really in the mood, but I know it’s more because she’s trying to see if there’s anything that I might pick up. I do my best to counsel her regarding his actions and what he has said directly to her, in person or in text messages. Compared to all of the other guys she’s met and dated, Henry seems legit. I think he genuinely cares for her which I share with her openly.
Inwardly, I keep my concern for what a relationship between her and Henry means for our friendship. She’s been elated when dating a guy before, but with Henry she’s different. I’m just worried that things between us will change too much. I know we won’t engage sexually over time, which is fine. I’ve been able to manage in the past. But, what if they do get married and have kids? Will she move away? Will we still see each other as much? The one thing I’m not willing to accept is that these are all things in my life that I can’t control and it pisses me off while simultaneously scaring the living daylights out of me.
Eight
As I attempt to lift my heavy eyelids, I discover a hazy darkness surrounding me. Blinking slowly several times, my half-opened eyes won’t focus to give me any clear indication of what’s around me and where the blurry, flashing lights above are coming from. My body feels heavy. Still unable to open my eyes all the way, I perceive that I’m laying down somewhere. A cool dampness near my left cheek reveals itself as a slight gust of air brushes past my face. Sliding my right arm up the side of my body like a snake, my fingers creep to my lips. Drool — or, at least I hope so.
Two large and oddly shaped figures materialize in front of me. They are so close, only a foot or two away. Voices suddenly emanate from the now more defined silhouettes. Their speech sounds muffled and trails off into the distance even as I try to concentrate on their words. Who are they? What are they saying? Why can’t I understand them? One of the voices almost sounds feminine.