Breaking Away (Assassins, #5)(124)
“I want to hate her for hurting you, but I just can’t, you know. I love her, and she is hurting so much. She is a mess.”
He couldn’t agree more. “I know, but maybe she’ll come around.”
“I hope so, that’s why I brought her. To show her what she is missing.”
He laughed. “I knew I kept you around for a reason.”
She grinned at him as she leaned into him playfully. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he said, “You know what?”
“What?”
“I’d let you kill me in the Hunger Games so you could win.”
She laughed as she continued to grin up at him. “So you really do love me?”
He nodded. “I really do, so much, and I won’t ever stop.”
As she grinned up at him, the same love he had for her reflecting for him in her eyes, he couldn’t help but think if only he could get the other girl that he loved to believe his words.
Life would be perfect then.
RECITAL DAYS was usually one of Reese’s favorite days but with simple fact that she hadn’t kissed, touched, or made love to Phillip in three days, the day sucked. Everything sucked. She was mad, she was hurt, and she hated everything. Like the sun, she hated the f*cking sun. It was all shining and happy while her heart was in turmoil. She had reached for her phone countless times after walking away from him the night before, but she couldn’t bring herself to call him. What the hell would she say?
Hey, sorry, but I am a complete f*cking dumbass. How about we go ahead and try this because I kind of love you and I don’t want to lose you but hey, I don’t want to get married or have kids with you, but I do love you.
Like what the hell did that even mean? She was so screwed up in the head it was insane, and she needed to get it together. She had spent the whole morning in bed with no desire to get up. She hated how quiet her apartment was, and she missed Phillip’s house. She missed how Phillip cooked her breakfast or was there to cuddle up against. That Claire wasn’t in the room over, dancing or texting, being the teenager she was. She missed them, every single thing about them.
Rolling out of bed, she took in a deep breath as her feet his the cool wood floors. She had to get to the recital hall and make sure that everything was good, but she’d much rather climb back under the cover and just stay there. Deciding that she could do that for at least twenty more minutes, she laid back down, covering herself with the covers, but then shot up when she heard her door open. Harper stood with her hands on her hips, looking irritated as hell, and Reese knew that this was not good.
“Harper? What are you doing here?”
“I should be asking you the same thing. I went down the hall to drop off the brochures, and I was told the director hadn’t showed up yet.”
Reese shrugged, hopping out of bed and pulling her shirt down. “Yeah, I’m running late.”
“Looks that’s way,” Harper said, her words a little sharp.
Looking back at her from where she was pulling up a pair of booty shorts before pulling up her dance sweats, she said, “Something wrong?”
“I don’t know—is there something wrong?”
Reese slowly shook her head. “I’m good.”
“Bullshit, and we both know it.”
“Whoa, what the hell?”
“I know that you are hurting, that you are trying to push away someone that actually made you feel something, and I’m not going to let you do that.”
Reese made a face as she turned to put a sports bra on. It might just be her sister, but she wasn’t trying to flash her. “I don’t have time for this. I have to get to the recital hall and do my job. We can talk later. I’m fine, I promise.”
Turning, she pulled a shirt on and went to go to the bathroom, but Harper stood in her way. “I am your big sister, and I know when you are lying. Please, give me five minutes.”
“Harper, please—”
“Five minutes,” Harper stressed.
Reese let out a breath and crossed her arms. “Have at it, but you are wasting your time.”
“Fine, it’s my time to waste,” she said, reaching out and placing her hands on Reese’s arms. She looked deep into Reese’s eyes as a small smile rested on her lips. “I love you, you know that right?”
Reese softened a little as she looked up at her big sister. “Of course. I love you.”
“Good and I say this with all the love in the world, but the life you were living before Phillip was crap. Now before you go to protest that, let’s remember that I did the same thing for years. I might have acted like I was happy, but I wasn’t. I was scared. Men scared me because they made me feel and open up, and I hated doing that because I knew that they had the power to hurt me.”
Reese tried to look away but Harper was right there, holding her gaze as she said, “I didn’t want to give anyone any power over me, but then I fell in bed with Jakob and…” She smiled as her eyes glazed over. “He rocked my world. I tried and tried to push him away, but he wasn’t going anywhere. I was convinced that I was made to sleep with whomever I wanted and that was how I was going to be happy, but when Jakob left for weeks on end, I found myself completely discombobulated without him. I missed everything, even the way he ate soup. It was scary, and I thought that maybe I was losing it. When he got hurt, I lost it at the thought of losing him. He was it. He was my dude. He made me want marriage and kids as long as it was with him. I needed him. I chose taking a chance and gave up loneliness… and I made the right choice.”