Breaking Away (Assassins, #5)(118)
She didn’t say anything for a second but then asked, “It’s Reese, isn’t it? Did she break up with you?”
He didn’t want to bring her into this but soon he was nodding his head as his heart shattered in his chest all over again. When he felt her come up beside him, placing her hand on his back, he became limp and just leaned on the fridge, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and he knew she was crying. When he opened his eyes to look at her and saw the tears pooling in her bright blue eyes before rushing down her face, he felt even more like shit.
“Why are you crying, Claire? Don’t do that. I can’t handle your tears, too.”
Wiping her hands across her cheeks, she whispered, “I know, and I’m sorry, but I just had so many plans for us. I wanted her to live with us and be happy with us. I hate that you are hurting, because I don’t want you to ever hurt. I just want you to be happy because you make everyone else happy, and I’m just so sorry that she did this to you.”
He shook his head, wrapping her up in his arms and holding her tight against his chest. “Don’t be. This isn’t your fault, and I’m going to be okay. I have you, and like I said, no matter what, she will always be in your life.”
“I know, but I wanted her in yours, too.”
His lip quivered and then it happened, a single tear spilled over, running along his cheek and into her hair as he whispered, “Me too.”
Erik made quick work of changing Dimitri’s diaper as Phillip sat on the floor, playing with a zoo set. When he was done, he sat him back down and then followed, crossing his leg as Dimitri reached for a zebra. After dropping Claire off at school, Phillip called Erik to see if it was okay for him to come over. Luckily for him, Piper was out doing stuff for Harper’s baby shower, which was the following day, leaving the house to Erik, Dimitri, and now Phillip’s problems.
“So she tells you she loves you but she can’t be with you, because you are going to break her heart?”
Phillip nodded as he made a giraffe dance with Dimitri’s zebra. “Yeah and the thing is, she isn’t even giving me a chance. She is categorizing me with that bastard Kevin, and I would never do that to her. I love her!”
“Dude, I told you she is a man eater.”
“That’s the thing, she isn’t. She is actually an amazing woman. Tough as nails and man, she keeps me on my toes, but she has a heart of gold that she hides from everyone. I really do believe that she was made for me, and I don’t care how girly that sounds.”
Erik scoffed. “No worries, when a dude is really in love, he turns into a freaking girl. It’s scary. So stay away from girls, they are icky, and will make you do stupid things, okay buddy?”
Phillip smiled when Dimitri reached out, taking a hold of Erik’s lip and giggling. He wanted this. He wanted a little guy and no, he didn’t want it now, but he wanted it someday with Reese.
“I just don’t understand why I’m not enough, you know? I used to feel so worthless, but then I started playing for the Assassins and things were good, great even. Then Claire came into my life and yeah, it wasn’t easy but then it was, and I was happy. Then Reese comes into my life, and everything fell into place. I knew this was the life I wanted. Then she dumps me and all those old feelings come back, bringing me down. I mean, do you hear me? I sound like a chick! Jeez, hand me the latest copy of TeenBeat and let’s gush over One Direction. I’m disgusting!”
Erik laughed as he shook his head. “Phillip, this is the shitty part of love. It can take you to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.”
“Tell me what to do, help me.”
Erik shook his head. “I suck at this shit, go to Shea.”
“No, Shea will tell me he told me so. He told me to watch out. I knew I had to, I thought I had prepared myself, but it just hurts so bad.”
“I’m sorry, man, but I don’t know what to say because in my eyes, Reese isn’t the settling down type, but then I don’t know her like you do.”
“But she is, if she’d allow herself to be. She loves me, she admitted it, but instead of acting on those feelings, she shielding herself from them. From me.”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Erik said with a shrug. “I’m sorry I’m no help.”
Before Phillip could say anything, Piper walked in the room with her hands on her hips. “He has nothing to say because he was the Reese in our relationship. He pushed me away, Phillip, you saw him do it. However, I kept fighting, didn’t I, and now look at us. You can’t give up on her. She loves you, everyone knows this.”
Phillip hated when Piper did her ninja sneak in but at this particular moment, he could use her help. “I get that, but I have fought. I put all of me in, and she threw me away. How do I come back from that? You weren’t going to fight for him after he left you. You were done, and now I am done.”
Piper paused and then nodded. “You’re right. If you’ve done everything you can, put all your cards on the table, then all you can do is wait and hope she gets her head on right.”
“But I don’t want to wait. I want her to know. I’m scared that since she doesn’t know now, then how will she ever? I gave her my heart, and she didn’t want it. It was different for you two because you knew that he loved you and that he wanted to be with you. Plus you two had Dimitri coming, and that was bound to make him grow the hell up.”