Breakaway (Beyond the Play, #2)(31)

“Interesting,” Mia says.

I glare at her. “That’s all you’ve got? I tell you this whole thing and you Mr. Spock me?”

“Doesn’t he say, ‘fascinating?’ Like, what a fascinating observation, Captain Kirk?”

“Whatever.”

She taps the highlighter against her laptop. “Did you really say you’d never date him?”

“Not in so many words.” I sigh. “Besides, it’s not like he’d ever date me. He doesn’t even want to fuck me again.”

“So? That probably stung, Pen. I mean, good for you for being clear about what you want, but you can’t blame him if he’s a little hurt. Guys are always defensive when they feel slighted.”

“You’re the one who encouraged me to do this,” I say. “You told me I should go through The List.”

“Yeah, but if you’re going to use someone, don’t tell them that to their face.” She leans back, setting her feet on the table with her ankles crossed. At least we’re not at one of the antique walnut tables in the center of the Reading Room; the librarian at the circulation desk glares at anyone who even so much as puts a book bag on top of one. “If he doesn’t want to be a living sex toy, you can’t blame him.”

“That’s not what I said,” I mutter. “Besides, I didn’t want to use him, he’d get something out of it too. He plays better when he’s getting regular sex, and he needs to perform well if my dad is going to make him captain.”

“Fascinating,” Mia says gravely.

I lean over and poke her cheek. She sticks her tongue out at me, and we collapse into giggles. After a long pause, I say, “Do you really think I insulted his manhood or whatever?”

“Maybe. Maybe he’s been wanting a girlfriend. Who knows, really.”

“He told me I should find a boyfriend. Or, rather, a nice guy to take me out. Even though I explained—”

“Oh,” she interrupts, her eyes widening. “Wait, that changes everything.”

“…Why?”

“He doesn’t want to say yes because he thinks you’re too good for it. He’s not annoyed, Pen, he’s being protective.”

I snort. “What?”

“He’s protecting you from him. He doesn’t want to be the big bad wolf sullying Little Red Riding Hood.”

“First of all, ew. Second, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She shrugs as she takes a sip of her coffee. “Boys have that tendency, yes. You need to make it clearer that you don’t need protection, you need to get dicked down. If you’re set on him, that is.”

I sigh, risking another look at my phone. Today’s game, the second in a pair against Boston College, is starting in under an hour. The smarter thing to do would be to forget him, aside from when we’re forced to work together, and be more discerning about choosing guys to hook up with as I try to tackle The List. There are plenty of guys out there that aren’t pretentious like Alfred or connected to my father like Cooper.

But judging by the way my body reacts to even the mere thought of him, none of them would give me the experience I’m craving. Is it possible to be kindred spirits in sex alone?

If I go to the game, I can kill two birds with one stone. Smooth things over with my dad and make it clearer to Cooper that I know what I want. Not to use him at his expense, but for us to be real friends-with-benefits. Both of us reaping the rewards of this arrangement. He might laugh in my face, but I can at least try.

“Fine,” I say. “Want to come with me to the game?”





16





COOPER





We’ve been sucking for two periods straight.

I hop off the bench and skate onto the ice for what will be my last shift of the period. Down by two goals—and it should have been more, but Remmy has stepped up with the saves—we’ve been chasing Boston College the whole game. Pissed off from yesterday’s loss, I’m sure, they came out faster, grinding harder. We’ve been stuck playing catch up, and the longer the game has gone on, the worse I’ve been playing. The last goal we let in happened because I totally misread a pass. A stupid mistake, and a costly one.

We execute a neat forecheck and get the puck back; Evan passes to Mickey, who passes to Brandon. He attempts a wrist shot, but the BC goalie snuffs it with his mitt. The seconds trickle down, and before we can try to go for the goal again, the period ends. I shake my head, wiping my sleeve across my face. Whatever boost I had during yesterday’s game has completely dissipated. I need to regain my focus for one more period. Not just to wrestle the game back, but to keep everyone’s energy high. My play on the ice matters, but an excellent captain doesn’t just lead by example. He inspires the guys to give their all, too. If I come into the locker room full of frustration, it will influence other guys on the team, especially the freshmen. The clearer we are mentally, the better we’ll play.

The cheers and chanting of the crowd echo around the arena as we skate to the bench. Even though there’s a football game this afternoon, there are plenty of students and fans in the stands. The football team isn’t nearly as good as it was when James was here, anyway, and there’s always a lot of excitement around the beginning of the hockey season.