Blasphemous (Torn #3)(9)
Bass looked me up and down with venom in his eyes before he spun around and left me in the kitchen, reeling.
Distraught, I followed him, yelling, “Bass! Please! Let me explain!” However, he wasn’t listening, he was heading outside to the patio and I just barely caught up with him when I managed to grab his arm. “Let me explain! You’re not being fair!”
He finally stopped walking and started glaring at me with such profound anger, I started to shake. “You talk about fair? All I have ever done since I met you is play fair. I respected you and placed you on a high pedestal with me kneeling at your feet.” He moved closer to my face, his own darkened with savage ferocity. I swore I could feel the heat of his rage steaming off him. “A few days without me, that’s all it took, and you’re with him. It’s always going to be him, isn’t it? I was that moron who thought you could move on and be with me.” His words pierced me some more before he continued on, “Clearly, I was dreaming and woke up with this fiasco.”
“It’s complicated, Bass. This is—this is difficult for me, too,” I choked out, trying my hardest not to cry.
“Okay, be honest with me here, Emma. Are you still in love with Carter? And don’t you dare lie about it, either. I deserve to know the truth.”
I knew each second that ticked, he was gauging everything about me. Each reaction my body showed him, he was going to hold it against me. And I had to tell him the truth. I owed it to him. With a heavy gut-wrenching sigh, I spoke, “My heart holds you both… but you more.”
That earned me a cruel laugh. He laughed so hard I was starting to think he was going crazy. “Good God! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time. What in the world are you talking about, woman? Who has the capacity to love two men at the same time? I’m at a loss for words here.”
Good thing one of us found it laughable because I certainly wasn’t laughing. “It isn’t that easy for me, Bass. You haven’t loved anyone before. You don’t understand the difficulty of my situation.”
“I told you in the very beginning, I didn’t do half and half, Emma. I want you to love me the way I love you, completely, devastatingly yours—all yours.” He then touched over my heart before continuing. “This… this can’t have other men in it. I will not settle for only a half of it. I want it all. Every single beat, rhythm, pulse and burn—mine to have.”
“It will. Give me time with my feelings for Carter. It’ll go away, Bass.”
Bass wasn’t in the slightest bit convinced with my retort. “What if it won’t, Emma? It’s been months now and still the result is practically the same. Do you expect me to wait about and see if you’ll only want me this time and not him, again?” Bass screeched with seething anger. I could practically see the outline of his neck veins bulging out. He was red with anger.
“It will. I know it will.” I urged, but miserably failed to convince him. The urge to reach out to him was so strong, I felt desperate.
“Huh, interesting.” He looked away from me for a second before his azure gaze caught mine. “Where did Carter sleep, Emma?”
That killer of a question made me bite my lip for a second before I responded to his interrogation. “Bass… it’s not like that at all…” f*uk! I was messing this up so bad. I was so unprepared for this kind of confrontation. Where do I even begin?
His nose flared as he flashed me a look that shot daggers at me. “No, no. I get it. I was never good enough. No matter how hard I tried to make you happy, I simply couldn’t achieve that… because I’m not him.” His voice was enough to break me, but those beautiful blue eyes, filled with pain, definitely killed me. “Be with him. I’m not going to come in between you two. I’ve done that twice now. It’s high time I stop. You are clearly taken and I was too blinded by everything to see it for what it truly is. I can’t deal with this anymore, Emma.” He started walking towards the beach. “Don’t wait for me.” Those were his parting words before I had even realized what those words truly meant. It was a double entendre.
I waited, though.
For the whole night, I waited, but he never came back. If my thoughts strayed along the lines of Bass spending the night with another woman, I pushed it away, convincing myself that he wasn’t going to do anything drastic. Bass wasn’t like that. Even if he was hurting, he wouldn’t do that. He just wouldn’t. Bass wasn’t Carter. That’s why I liked him, right?
I spent my entire Saturday crying and rehearsing everything I wanted to tell him. How I wished things weren’t complicated with me. It was, though. Wishing it away wasn’t going to help my cause.
Fraught with emotions, I sat on the patio all Saturday night, hoping he’d come home. Even the beautiful scenery and the lulling sound of rolling soft waves didn’t help ease my tension. All hope was lost in me when the time struck one in the morning. I finally gave up and went to bed with a severe heartache. Sleep evaded me, so I laid there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for a sign—any sound—that would indicate that he was back.
I watched the time as three turned to eight in the morning, still with no sign of him. My entire Sunday was unproductive since I pretty much didn’t want to move. I situated myself on the patio again, trying to read a novel to no avail. So, I waited with my thoughts as my companion.