Blasphemous (Torn #3)(11)

“We need to talk. Even if it results in us not being together.”

Bass looked sideways, away from my view, pained. “How long did it take you to be underneath Carter, Em?”

That’s a foul question to ask. “It wasn’t like that. Hear me out.” When I didn’t hear him protest, I continued on, “He flew out there to surprise me. I was unprepared for that kind of ambush; it was totally unexpected. I kept him at arm’s length, but Carter’s persistent. So we ended up talking about the past. For months he’s been trying to win me back, but I haven’t responded to his emails or calls because I’m with you and I didn’t want trouble for us. I liked how we were and I wanted to keep it that way.

“That first night, I woke up in the dark with his arms wrapped around me. I was confused, sleepy and still a little drunk so when he kissed me, I didn’t fight him off. When things progressed quickly, I halted him and he stopped right away. A kiss, that’s what happened.”

When he looked at me, I felt his sorrow. It gripped me and held onto me, drowning me slowly. “It wasn’t just a kiss, Emma. I think we both know that.”

He was referring to whatever feelings I had left for Carter. It hurt, but I deserved it. “He was asking questions about our relationship. He was wondering why we’re not officially dating. According to him, I was single. I feel really bad about it, Bass. It won’t happen again.”

“Do you want me to kiss another woman? Would that make you feel better?” Bass taunted, his eyes punishing. “Do you want me to f*uk her like I f*uked you? Making her scream as she orgasms three times in a row? Or do you want me to make love to her… slowly as I whisper sweet nothings into her ear… screaming her name while I unload my seed in her?” he bellowed.

The images with some faceless woman tormented me. He did it. I was hurting madly as those images played havoc in my mind.

Unknowingly, like my hand had its own demon possessing it, I struck his face. We were both shocked at my action. “Oh God. I’m sorry, Bass,” I said, covering my hand in disbelief.

Oh hell, I thought when I found his eyes. They were menacing and deadly like I unleashed the demon in him.

“How long did it take you to stop him?” Bass gripped my hand, pulling me close as I felt his rage. “Just answer the f*uking question, Emma!”

Shaking, I wetted my lips as I tried to recall what happened that night in London. “I don’t know. It could be a few minutes, longer—I don’t know,” I whispered. I felt bereft when he looked away and let go of my hand.

“Bass…” We were hanging on a precarious balance and I felt it, we were falling and pulling away from each other.

“Were his hands… touching you intimately?” he asked it in such a soft whisper. It simply made me tear.

“I stopped him when he slid his hands inside my shirt.”

His face was desolate as he placed his finger over my lips. “Shhhh… that’s enough. No more. You’ve done enough. It’s enough.” He then gently kissed my forehead, stood up and started to walk away.

Panicked, I followed him out of the bedroom. “Don’t leave like this!” I called out. He immediately halted, but never looked back. When I caught up with him, he just achingly stared at me. That look on his face made me feel like a monster. “Please talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Emma. Carter was right. You were single since we agreed only on a sexual relationship. That’s all it was. Since you didn’t have sex with him, you didn’t cross the line that we agreed on.”

I never planned for Carter to kiss me. It just happened so unexpectedly I was caught off guard. I never wanted to… “That wasn’t my intention…”

Bass gripped my shoulder, hard, pulling me close. “What the f*uk was it then?” His hate-filled voice made me feel profoundly lost.

I placed both of my hands on his chest to steady my stance. His heart pounded against my hands as we stared at each other. “You’re driving me crazy,” Bass hissed.

I was caught off guard when he crushed his lips against mine, passionate, hungry and vengeful. I melted against him. My body called out to him, missing how his lips tasted against mine.

He roughly broke our kiss, hating the sight of me. “This is where it stops, Emma,” he murmured against my ear.

My heart erratically pounded against my chest as his words sunk in. “No, don’t. Please, stay with me. I’m sorry.”

“I had given you so much of myself. So much that my love knew no bounds because I gladly gave myself away, believing you were worth everything. I was irrevocably crushed when I discovered those pictures of you and Carter in London. I needed to believe in you again before I could be with you, but it seemed that I was the one being tested. After this new revelation, I don’t think it’s possible for me to get over it.” Bass looked away from my tearing face.

“I’m so sorry… forgive me…” I said in between sobs. I felt so wretched and utterly hopeless. I was losing him. I knew it. I felt it.

Bass was slipping away from me.

I was uncontrollably sobbing his name, but he was already gone.

It seemed that some things needed to be broken first to know their value and I had just realized how much Bass meant to me.

E