Blasphemous (Torn #3)(56)

Realizing that she didn’t care about her nudity, I tossed her dress on the bed with little care. “You want the truth?”

“Are you kidding me? Yes, I deserve to know why you can’t f*uk a woman like any man would.” She was screaming like a banshee, ready to pounce any second.

“I’m in love with someone,” I delivered without hesitation while I saw her flinch as if I slapped her.

“Before or after me?”

Was there a point to this? Sighing with annoyance, I directed her a curt glance. “Before you.”

“If you’re in love with her, then why aren’t you with her?” she pressed on, unfazed by my lack of engagement.

“Because she loves another man.” After all this time, it still hurt to say it.

I was a little confused when Nikki started to laugh like it was the funniest joke she’d heard in awhile. “Karma’s a bitch.”

What did she just say?

“Excuse me?” I asked, needing to make sure I hadn’t misheard her.

When her laughter died away, Nikki seemed to be in a daze as she sunk on the foot of the bed, staring at the carpeted floor. “You, in love with someone, but she wanted another man. It evens out in a twisted way.” She even had the gall to snort after she spoke.

Did she know that she wasn’t making sense at all? “What are you talking about? How does that even out?”

“Don’t you know already? I’m in love with you, Bass. I’ve always been crazy about you, but now it’s so much more.”

“How?” I treated you like shit, I wanted to add, but thought better.

Nikki gave a nonchalant shrug, her breasts swaying as she did so. “How? I don’t know? It just happened.”

Dammit, she was complicating things. This was the last thing I needed—a tough parting with a lover, if I could even consider Nikki that. “I told you I didn’t do any of that in the beginning, Nik.”

She was shaking her head in denial, big, brown eyes pleading me to stay with her. “I know, but can a person really help themselves when they fall in love? Give me a chance. Maybe we could work this out. We’re great together. The sex… we could work on it slowly.”

God, she really was serious! “Nikki, you’re a beautiful, lovely woman. You deserve everything a man has to offer. If we had happened before, maybe I could possibly consider this, but that’s not the case. We have to end it here in Texas.”

Tears slowly gathered in her eyes as she gave me a sad smile. “I guess, you really don’t care about me, huh?”

f*uking hell, this was the very reason I told her not to start with me, but f*uk, she just kept on coming until I folded. “I care enough to tell you that I’m not the guy to give you what you want.”

With a frustrated groan, I moved to leave her room, but her voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Who is she?”

“Emma,” I whispered in a soft caress, missing the name on my lips. “Her name is Emma Anderson.”

“The new chick you starred with in the Lombardo flick?” Nikki sounded surprised, like she didn’t get why it was Emma. “It could just be lust. I mean, you were filming crazy amounts of sex. It’s only natural to feel like there was more than what’s really there. How sure are you that it’s love?”

Easy.

“Because, after all that pain and heartbreak, if I could be given another chance to have what I had, I would do it all over again. Even if the result was the same as the last time.”

“I really didn’t stand a chance, did I?” she managed to choke out, looking vulnerable again.

“No, you did not,” I said with finality before leaving her room.

A lot have tried to replace Emma, but not one came close.

No one ever would.





Chapter 23

“The worst feeling you’ll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them.”



- Author Unknown



Bass



I was right out of the corridor when I heard her laugh as she spoke with Dimitris. It stopped me from entering the room. Making me nervous, excited and angered at the same time that she could still evoke strong emotions even after not seeing her for this long.

Just then, I really asked myself, if I was ready for this.

The thing was, I had no clue until I got to see her. Face-to-face.

A part of me wished she had fought harder to get me back. A part of me wanted her to find her way back into my arms. A small part of me wished she went back to Carter so I could be proven right.

It really was confusing that my thoughts were going in both directions. Clearing my mind, I pushed myself to enter the room.

Nothing prepared me for this feeling.

It was desperate, needy, and wretched. I hated that being in close proximity of her I started to sweat and my heart was manic.

Seeing her again was like going through a cold winter without heat to warm my cold, frigid heart and feeling the bright rays of the sun for the first time.

It was then that I realized that she was always going to be the woman who had that power over me. Hoping for something greater out there was never going to happen because I’d already met her and it didn’t work out. So why did it feel like I was being hypnotized?