Blasphemous (Torn #3)(53)

f*uk.

“You want me,” she whispered, breaking our kiss. She then started to slowly pace backwards, eyes on me as she started to untie her dress. When it dropped on the floor, she brazenly took off her bra and her underwear. “I’m all yours, Bass,” she spoke as she strode towards me again, in her naked glory, on display for my perusal.

I stood there, contemplating what to do.

“No more running away, Bass.” Nikki painfully crushed my balls before grinning as she took care of my jeans.

My hands gripped her wrists, stopping her from pulling my boxers off. “You’re drunk, Nikki.”

“Am I?” she teased as she dipped her head and playfully bit the head of my cock over the thin cotton.

Son of a gun. A wretched groan came from me.

“Let’s make a deal. Let me blow you off, then you can decide if you want to f*uk me afterwards?”

Did that deal make any sense? It didn’t, but I ended up nodding my head anyway. In a quick succession, she had me on my back, on the bed while I watched her.

Nikki playfully played with the boxer garter before pulling it down. “God, Bass. This is the biggest I’ve ever seen!” she gasped with delight.

My heart was going crazy when I felt her start working her mouth, sucking my cock greedily. It didn’t take long until I submitted to it and I had my hand behind Nikki’s head, pushing her down more to take all of my length even though it looked like she couldn’t go any further. I wanted her to suck me harder while her tongue stroked me everywhere like how Emma did it, but it wasn’t even close to that. It still felt good, though.

When she finally came up for air, drooling, with a large cat-like grin on her face, I made a decision.

“Condom in my wallet, Nikki. I don’t f*uk without one.”

B

The sound of my vibrating phone on the side table woke me up. I tried to reach out for it, but the arm around my waist kept me from doing so. Flashbacks of Nikki and I having sex last night turned me cold. I untangled her clingy body from me, grabbed my phone, and strode towards the bathroom.

I turned the tap on and splashed it over my face, breathing heavily. I took a few deep breaths before I grabbed the face towel and wiped my face with it.

The realization of what I’d done hit me. Hard.

I really did it. I was moving forward, but I somehow felt more dreadful. The weight in my chest was still there, rotting like a corpse.

Leaning against the sink, I checked the email message from Barbara.

It was the schedule for Blasphemous’s promotional tour.

Emma.

I was going to see her soon. In eight weeks time… I was going to see her again. Would I be able to survive it? The thought of seeing her smile made me feel like crying. As if my fingers had their own mind, it took me to one folder that I’ve avoided for months on end. For a long time, I contemplated if I should delete it or not, but when the time came to execute the plan, I always detracted and left the folder alone.

My possessed thumb pressed on the folder “E” and immediately a new screen popped up, playing a video.

“Stop that! I’m naked!” She giggled as she tried to take the phone away from me.

“It’s just us here. Now, be nice and smile for the camera. Now say, Bass, I’m crazy about you.”

She bit her lip, blushing profusely, but instead of looking into the camera, she was looking directly at me. “I love you.”

It seemed that I turned it off right after she said that. I don’t remember doing it. Then again, all I could think about was kissing her after she said those words. I remembered thinking how lucky I was to finally have her say it. Then everything went to shitters.

Why was this happening to me?

Guilt about sleeping with Nikki was something I shouldn’t be feeling. I’m sure she already went straight back into Carter’s arms. I probably handed her right back to him. For all I knew, she could be engaged already.

It sucked to be stuck in the past, when all I wanted to do was move on and forget about Emma. I was just beginning to realize that people did move on after heartbreak, but the memory was always going to be there. In your heart and in your deepest, darkest desires, it shall forever remain.

Never meant to be forgotten.

It was there to haunt you.

It was there to remind you that you were once granted the feeling of that complex gift, the true meaning of connecting of the souls.

Love. You experienced it. You lived it. You died with it.





Chapter 21


“You left behind a broken heart and happy memories too, but I never wanted memories. I only wanted you.”



- Author Unknown



Emma



“Are we going to see you tomorrow, angel?” Flo, the nurse, asked me sweetly before giving me a big, motherly hug.

She called me angel because she said I looked like one. I doubted it, but she was just sweet like that. “You bet. I’ll try to get something from the pastry shop. I think it’s time we experiment with your sweet tooth.” I waved her another goodbye before entering the elevator.

Flo was a tall, African lady from Nigeria, who had a penchant for Krispy Kreme. Even with all the evident weight she gained from the divine donuts, she still kept on going. She told me that once you reach her age, not a lot of things mattered, only the things that you loved. So, her donut indulgence went on and somewhat rubbed off on me.