Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(82)

She wished she had better news. Hell, she wished she could simply solve the whole thing so he could go on his merry way and not sit across the table, tempting her with what could no longer be.

He’d behaved perfectly all day. He’d even brought takeout back for lunch so they didn’t have to pause long. He’d brought exactly what she’d asked for. A spinach salad. The bastard had also brought a muffuletta sandwich and a dozen macaroons from the bakery down the street. And pralines. He’d claimed they were a late afternoon snack. He’d even made her a cup of tea to go with it.

Damn man. Somehow her appetite had come roaring back, too.

She was already wondering if she could sneak in a glass of that stupidly excellent wine with whatever dinner Dax cooked up. He’d brought a sack of groceries in earlier with their lunch, claiming she needed a proper meal.

She’d really been skimping on her calories lately. Somehow she’d let Chad the Ass convince her she was carrying a bit too much weight. It had been a subtle thing, really. He’d mentioned his own diet and then somehow she’d started falling in line.

The realization was maddening because she wasn’t the sort to change for a man. And she was only eating the stupid pralines now because they tasted good.

Dax sighed. “That led us nowhere. And he didn’t use his credit card for anything but the gas and hotel.”

“He withdrew a thousand pounds sterling at Heathrow, so he probably used cash for everything else.”

“Damn it. What was he doing over there?” Dax sounded as frustrated as she felt.

Her cell phone rang. Holland looked down, saw who it was, and sent his ass straight to voice mail.

Dax speared her with a glance. “Should I have a talk with your erstwhile suitor?”

“He’ll eventually go away.” She was fairly certain of that. It was her uncle who wouldn’t leave her in peace. He’d left a single stern message asking her to call him because he’d heard that she was in serious trouble.

She was in serious trouble because she was already softening toward Dax. At one point she’d actually found herself nearly touching him like old times. She’d stopped short, before she’d lost her head in all his warmth and muscled goodness.

“How did you get involved with him?”

“How did you end up married to a woman you never even dated?” She sounded like such a freaking shrew. The words just popped out, bubbling up and exploding like a nasty volcano of jealousy.

He sank into the seat beside her. “I was stupid and foolish and so angry I couldn’t see straight, so I got drunk as shit. I make lousy decisions when I’m drunk as shit, sweetheart.”

She stood up. “I’m not talking about this.”

“We have to.”

They did not. She shook her head and strode away, escaping onto the balcony for some fresh air. Her body felt tight, every muscle as taut as a bowstring. How would she survive being locked in with him for days? Weeks?

Fresh air didn’t help. The humid air dripped moisture. And being out on the balcony only reminded her of the way he’d once touched her out here. In fact, she couldn’t forget what it felt like to have his hands on her. Dax was a furnace in bed. He gave off so much heat she didn’t need a blanket, only his body wrapped around hers. She didn’t remember a time she’d felt so safe. So loved.

She rubbed at a spot just above her chest. It felt tight. The ache just wouldn’t go away.

“Holland, we can’t ignore it forever.”

Naturally, he wouldn’t give her a second alone. “Watch me.”

“You were always stubborn.”

“Tell me something, Dax. Would you have come back if you hadn’t found that lead on your father’s case?” She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him. He would never have come back. He wouldn’t have spoken to her again.

He moved beside her, leaning against the wrought-iron balcony. “Eventually. Maybe not so soon, but yeah. I would have come back.”

“Liar. You never would have forgiven me.”

“I was angry, I’ll admit. But even when I was pissed as hell at you, I still knew that you were the center of my world. You have been since the day I met you. You were my dream girl back then. When I thought you betrayed me, you became my nightmare. But I was focused on you. Loving you, hating you, it didn’t change the fact that you were and always will be everything to me.”

Holland closed her eyes. Sweet words . . . but she wasn’t sure she believed them. “It doesn’t matter. I moved on. I knew when I let you go that it was the end of any relationship we had.”

“Did you?” He turned to her, looming over her in the late afternoon light. “Really?”

She forced herself to face him. “Yes, Dax. I knew it the minute I got that call.”

“So why did you get involved with a boy you knew you could never love or marry if you had truly moved on from me?”

She’d asked herself that question a lot, but she wasn’t about to admit that to him. “I liked Chad. We move in the same world.”

“Law enforcement.” Dax scoffed. “That means nothing. If that pretty boy cares more about his arrest record than his hair gel, I’ll eat my khakis for dinner. I know his type. We have them in the Navy. They want to be officers for the privilege it affords them. They view it like a corporate job and start climbing the ladder.”