Beyond What is Given(35)

He rounded the corner and shook his head as he looked at the kitchen. “Sam, I’m so sorry to leave you with this mess.”

I laughed, snorting as I sucked in air, and then continuing like a hyena. “The kitchen? That’s your idea of a mess?”

His mouth dropped open a fraction. The mouth I’d had against mine just a few minutes ago. “Samantha?” He moved to touch me, and I jerked back.

“She knows about Grace,” Mia offered quietly.

He swung toward her like he’d been slapped. “You?”

“Parker,” she whispered.

“Fuck.” He seethed.

It only made me laugh harder, nearly hysterical. “Oh, now you swear.”

“Sam, it’s really complicated.” He stepped forward, but I retreated until my back was against the chocolate-covered counter.

My laughter died. “Do you have a girlfriend in North Carolina, Grayson?”

A muscle in his jaw ticked, and his hands flexed. “That’s not a simple question, and it takes a hell of a lot more than five minutes to answer.”

“We’re going to miss our flight,” Mia said quietly.

Why was I drawn to cheating bastards? Like mother, like daughter. “Take my car and go, Mia. I’m not coming home this weekend.”

“Go, Grayson.” My fingers dug into the counter, brownie mix sliding into the crevices of my fingers. My hands remembered all too well the feel of Harrison’s face as I slapped him in the quad, the satisfying sound of retribution and anger. But where I tried to draw up anger here, there was only sadness. “You are the last person I want to see right now, so just go.”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not leaving you until you understand.”

“You’re going to miss your flight.” Don’t come any closer, please.

“I don’t care. Mia, take my car and go. I’ll get it from the airport tomorrow.”

“You have to go. Now. Because your girlfriend there is in the hospital with kidney problems, and the girl you just kissed here doesn’t want anything to do with you.” My knees started to shake, and my stomach roiled. How the hell did he have the nerve to look like I’d just snapped his heart in two?

He raked his hands over his hair, and I could almost see the devil and the angel on his shoulder, determining his choice. He sighed and closed his eyes, and I knew North Carolina and…Grace had won—as she should have. He reached out slowly, like I was going to bite him, and cupped my face. I flinched away, but he followed me. “This conversation isn’t over. I’ll explain as soon as I’m back, and you’re going to listen.”

“Planes don’t wait for anyone.”

“Sam,” he whispered.

“Go.”

He searched my eyes with an intensity that made it impossible to look away. Then he nodded once. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

I didn’t answer, just like I planned to do with his phone calls. He could shove them where the sun didn’t shine.

He walked out of the kitchen, taking Mia with him. A few moments later I heard the front door open and shut, then Grayson’s truck pull out of the driveway. My knees gave out, and I slid down to the floor, wincing when the cabinet handles dug into my skin. I wrapped my arms around my knees and tucked into the smallest ball possible.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but my butt was numb by the time Ember opened the front door. “Yoo-hoo!”

“I’m in the kitchen,” I called out, my voice inflectionless.

She walked in and dropped her purse on the counter as she surveyed the damage. “Well, this is one way to redecorate.”

“I made such an epic mess!” I sobbed uncontrollably, my entire body shaking from the force of emotion I couldn’t contain. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get my feet under me, couldn’t seem to unbury myself from the crap I just kept heaping on.

Ember sank to the floor, wrapping her arm around me and pulling my head to her shoulder. “We’ll clean it up, Sam. No matter what it is.”

I cried in the arms of my best friend until my tears ran dry. For the part of me that died the minute I found out the truth about Harrison. For getting kicked out of school. For every rejection letter. For every one of my mother’s expectations that I’d failed.

For losing Grayson, when he’d only been mine for the duration of a kiss.

I told her everything as the tears fell to a trickle, from Harrison to Grayson, and she didn’t speak, only listened until I’d verbally vomited everything…everything but the emails. “He’s my roommate, Ember. I’m such an idiot.”

She rested her head against mine. “You see the best in everyone, Sam, you always have. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and if that makes you an idiot, then I wish everyone was stupid.”

“And how stupid and selfish does it make me that for the smallest of seconds, when I found out about her, I didn’t care? I just wanted to keep feeling the way I do around him.”

“That just makes you human.”

I had to be stronger than my mistakes if I was ever going to stop the epic f*ck-up train I’d somehow boarded this last year. I sent Ember out to dinner with Josh and scoured the kitchen, top-to-bottom, and then I rearranged everything, just to piss Grayson off.