Beyond What is Given(31)

She looped her leg around mine, hitting her heel in the pit behind my knee, and my leg buckled. “Sam!” I pitched toward the pool and knew impact was coming, but I wasn’t going down solo. I pulled her to me as we tumbled into the pool.

My feet hit the bottom and I pushed off, bringing us to the air. Sam coughed and looped her arms around my neck. We were deep enough that I could touch, but she couldn’t. “I can’t believe you did that,” I said, my mouth slightly agape.

She grinned, biting her lower lip. “I can’t believe you took me with you.”

“Good reflexes.” God, she felt good against me, her curves slippery, but I carefully kept my hands on her waist. My gaze dropped to her lips, and I swallowed. Hard.

Her fingers sent little electric shocks as she absentmindedly stroked the back of my neck. I looked back to her eyes and caught my breath. Her grin faded, and her eyes widened, waiting for something I wasn’t sure I was even able to give.

Fuck, she looked kissable.

The dynamic between us shifted like the world had tilted on its axis. We were strapped into a roller coaster, awaiting the inevitable, but not knowing when the first drop was coming.

Sam had gone from a “never” to a “not yet” in the five weeks I’d been living with her. What would she be in another month or two?

Everything, a little voice whispered in my head.

We stayed there, locked onto each other, both tasting the shift between us until water hit me in the back of the head.

“So this is where you guys are hanging out,” Josh said, leaning over the edge of the pool.

Sam let her hands fall away from my neck, looking anywhere but at me.

“Hey, Samantha,” I whispered.

She jerked her eyes back to mine and raised those perfect eyebrows.

I hoisted her out of the water and tossed her into the deep end of the pool. She landed with a splash and more than one curse word while I stifled the urge to laugh.

“There’s something different about you here. You’re lighter, somehow…not…I don’t know…normal Gray.” Mia glanced to Sam, who had swum over to talk to Josh. “She’s good for you.”

He dunked Sam playfully, and she came up with a gasp.

Ice crawled through my veins, and suddenly it wasn’t the pool I was standing in, but the channel. And that wasn’t Sam laughing, it was Grace screaming. Then silence. So much silence.

“Gray?” Mia touched my arm, and I jerked. “You okay?”

I nodded and shut the past out, studying the way Sam lifted her hair away from her face. Her smile, so warm that it brought the deadest parts of me to life. She was infuriating, captivating, confusing, and worth every second. Our lines were blurring, and for every inch I backed away, she pulled me twice as close without even realizing it. Being around her was more addictive than the caffeine she survived on, and I was constantly jonesing for a hit…of her.

“I mean it,” Mia added. “She’s good for you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not good for her.”

Problem was, I wasn’t sure it was a good enough reason to stay away from her anymore.





Chapter Eleven


Sam


“Bye!” God, where was that damn hang-up button?

Mom’s face disappeared from the screen, and I rested my forehead on the laptop for a moment. She’d been utterly disappointed in my choice to enroll in a “beneath me” community college, but she said she’d pay for it, which was more than I could have ever hoped for.

I clicked open my email and weeded through the mess until I got to a name I didn’t recognize. [email protected]. My fingers tapped absently above the keys. Get over your shit.

Right. I opened the email and my stomach dropped.

How did you like your latest rejection? Once a whore, always a whore. Too bad you can’t sleep with them to let you in. Just. Stop. Trying.

Shaking hand and all, I closed it.

It was what I deserved, right? My penance for my sin. One hundred Our Fathers and thirty-two harassing emails.

It didn’t matter anyway, right? I had a fresh start on Monday and time to rebuild myself. Yeah, until you apply at another school…or finally face it at Colorado.

Oh, I was totally pulling a Scarlet O’Hara on that one—I’d think about it tomorrow. Or never. Whatever.

But this, I could stop now. I might deserve it, but if I was going to move past it, I couldn’t have it thrown in my face every time I checked my email. I adjusted my settings and only let in known email addresses to my inbox…and Victoria’s Secret. I could never have enough Vickie’s. Or chocolate.

One click at a time, I took back this aspect of my life.

This definitely called for brownies.

I skipped down the stairs and almost ran smack into Grayson as he was coming up. “Hey!” Did that come out as breathless as I felt? The guy usually sucked the oxygen right out of my lungs the minute he entered the room, but in an ACU flight suit? Holy shit. For someone who’d never even wanted near a soldier…well, I wanted to be very near Grayson. Like within a breath. A touch. Under him. Over him. Pinned between his yards of muscle and the wall.

“Hey yourself.” His eyes lit up like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“Good day?” I forced out.

“Great day. I passed my 5&9 test.” His eyes danced, and I found myself grinning like a lovesick moron, but I couldn’t help it. He looked happier than I’d ever seen.