Best Friends Don't Kiss(82)

You really screwed things up this time, didn’t you? my mind taunts me. You freaked the fuck out, and instead of being a rational adult about things, you told him to leave and stormed out of the house like a child.

I wish I could say I stand behind yesterday’s behavior and feel strongly that I handled it all correctly, but I can’t.

After I rushed out of the house, Luke tried to call me and text me at least a hundred times. And all I did was sit in my dad’s truck in a Walmart parking lot, bawling like a baby, only sending him one single response back.



I just need space, Luke. Just go back to New York, and we’ll talk when I get back from my sister’s wedding.



It was horrible. All of it.

And late last night, when I finally went back to my parents’ house and Luke’s stuff was out of my bedroom, I got one final text from him.



I just want you to know that I’m getting ready to board a flight back to New York. It’s the last thing I want to do, but it’s what you want. And fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ace. I wish you would just talk to me and let me explain, but I’m going to honor your request of needing space. Even though it makes me feel like I’m leaving my heart in Vermont.



The instant I read it, everything I had just done hit me.

And I mean, it hit me hard.

The fact that I quite literally freaked the fuck out and turned into an impulsive, emotional mess. The fact that he was right. I was pushing him away.

He definitely shouldn’t have lied to me about NASA, but I should’ve tried to understand why he kept that from me. I had a right to be hurt by it, but I also had the responsibility to control my emotions and not react in such a careless, rash way.

All night last night, our fight just kept replaying in mind, and all I could do was sit on my bed and cry. Big, sobbing, wracking cries, I’m honestly shocked my mom or dad didn’t catch on to.

“You okay, honey?” Aunt Lil asks, pulling me from my thoughts, and even though it feels like my whole entire world has ended, I force a fake smile to my lips.

“I’m good,” I respond. “Just a little tired from all of the fun-filled days of a Guy Lucie Christmas.”

She grins at that. “Your dad sure is something when it comes to Christmas, isn’t he?”

“He sure is.”

“So, your mom told me Luke might not be at the wedding,” she says, and her words make me cringe. But thankfully, her eyes are too fixated on the hem of my dress to notice my reaction.

“Uh…yeah,” I respond and clear the cobwebs from my throat. “A pilot got sick unexpectedly, so he had to go in and help them out.”

“Well, I hope he makes it back in time for the wedding.”

“Me too.” He won’t. Because I’m the one who uninvited him.

My poor, battered heart clenches, and I swallow hard against the emotion trying to take up residence in my throat.

I will not fucking lose it while Aunt Lil is fixing my bridesmaid’s dress for Kate’s wedding, which just so happens to be tomorrow.

I will keep it together.

I will try not to think about the fact that I feel like I just told the love of my life to walk away from me.

I will try not to think about the fact that I miss Luke so badly, my entire body aches and the mere idea of food makes me want to vomit.

And I will try not to think about how much I love him.

Yes. I will simply avoid all of those things and focus on being there for Kate on her big day.

Ha. Good luck with that, you lunatic.

I swear, if I could find a fucking time machine on Amazon and go back to yesterday morning, I’d Prime ship that shit so fast.

If I had the choice, I’d do yesterday all over again in a heartbeat.

And instead of telling Luke to leave, I would’ve told him to stay. I would’ve told him how I really feel. That I’m in love with him. That the idea of him leaving for Houston in less than a week feels like a knife to my chest.

Sadly, though, there are no time machines.

There’s a huge part of me that wants to call him and text him…just talk to him, but it doesn’t feel fair to unload everything on him in any other way but face-to-face. Especially when I’m the one who made him leave Vermont in the first place.

Way to fucking go, Ava.

The sound of the front door closing shut grabs my attention, and I look up to find Aunt Poppy walking into the kitchen.

“Hey hey!” she greets. “I just talked to your mom, and she said she and your sisters are on their way back from the bridal shop with Kate’s dress.”

“That’s great news.”

“And she also mentioned that Luke had to leave yesterday,” she adds, diving into the one thing I don’t want to talk about right now. “What the hell happened?”

“He had to go back to New York early.”

“Before your sister’s wedding?”

“Uh-huh.” I nod and swallow against the thick knot in my throat that is starting to become a permanent resident.

“Well, what in the hell made him have to leave early?” Aunt Poppy pushes with a hand to her hip.

“He was called in to work, you nosy wench,” Aunt Lil offers, talking around the pin she holds carefully between her lips. She glances up at me and fluffs out the bottom of my bridesmaid dress. “Though, he might be able to come back for Kate’s wedding but isn’t sure yet.”