Bennett (On the Line Book 2)(51)
A display of baby blue, yellow, and pale green sleepers caught my attention as soon as we walked in. I drew in a breath as I ran my fingers over the soft material of one.
“Oh, Bennett . . . look how tiny they are.”
There were baby jean jackets, loafers, and newsboy caps on another display. I grinned with excitement as I checked out sizes and piled baby clothes over one arm.
“Charlotte,” Bennett said from behind me, “slow down. How much is all this gonna cost?”
I shrugged and grinned even wider. “It doesn’t matter. This is one of the happiest days of my life, and I feel like splurging on our little boy.”
He didn’t respond and I turned to look at him. His expression was distant.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t afford to go into a place like this and buy everything you like,” he said stiffly.
“I wasn’t asking you to,” I said, taken aback by his sudden change in mood. “I’m paying for it.”
He nodded slightly. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?”
“How what’s gonna be?”
A saleslady approached with a mesh bag. “Can I help you find anything?” she asked, holding out the bag for me to put the clothes in.
“No,” I said dismissively. “We’re just looking.”
“Well, let me know if you need anything,” she said, leaving us.
“I don’t understand what’s going on, Bennett,” I said softly.
“I don’t understand why I’m even here. You’ve already made my role in this whole thing pretty obvious, and clearly I can’t afford you. That’s probably what it all comes down to anyway.”
My face heated with frustrated anger. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He turned for the door. “I’ll just wait for you in the car.”
I folded and restacked the clothes I’d chosen onto the display, my happiness now just a pile of smoldering ashes. By the time I got back out to the car, I was ready to do battle.
“So you think I’m put off that you don’t make much money?” I asked bitterly. “What have I ever done or said to make you think that?”
“You may not even realize you’re put off by it. And believe me, I don’t like it any more than you do.”
“It doesn’t matter. I have enough to take care of the baby. I have savings.”
“And you think that’s what I want?” He gripped the steering wheel and exhaled deeply. “The clock’s been ticking for almost three months now and the pressure’s f*cking intense.”
“What pressure?” I touched his arm gently.
“To move up. Make more money. Be able to support you and the baby.”
I sighed softly. “Bennett, I don’t need that.”
“And you never f*cking fail to mention it.” He started the car and backed out, not looking at me. “You tell me at every available opportunity how little you need me.”
“That’s not true.”
“Like hell.”
“Bennett, I do need you.”
“For what, moral support?”
I furrowed my brow, considering. “I wouldn’t characterize it that way, but—”
“You just have to keep control of everything.”
“What’s so bad about being in control of everything?” I challenged. “It’s gotten me this far in life, hasn’t it?”
He laughed bitterly. “You’ve got it all figured out, as usual.”
“I don’t know where this is coming from.”
“You wouldn’t even give me the time of day if it weren’t for the baby. You threw my f*cking number away, remember?”
I balked at his mention of the morning after we met. “And what did you want from me, exactly, Bennett? Besides more sex?”
“Just more.” He parked in front of the courthouse and gave me a dark look. “The same thing I’ve been trying to get out of you for three months now. But you’re too damned resolved not to turn into your mother. I’m never breaking through.”
“Okay,” I said in my calmest tone, “I’m going back into work now. I think we should talk some more later when you’re not so angry.”
He just stared out the windshield, his jaw set tensely. I got out of the car, still confused about where all this had come from. Wasn’t I the one who had irrational emotional outbursts?
Apparently today was his turn.
Bennett
I’d been a douche to Charlotte. I realized it about a minute after she got out of the car. Of all the days to unleash my pent-up insecurities on her, I’d chosen the one she’d said was one of the happiest of her life.
It had been looking like one of the happiest of mine for a while. When I’d seen our son on that sonogram monitor, my feelings had come into clear focus for the first time. Being next to her in that moment had made me realize I wanted her by my side permanently.
I loved her for her, but the fact she was the mother of my son added an intensity to my feelings that was almost unbearable. Her swelling belly was the most beautiful sight in the world to me. The three of us were already a family in my mind.
Moving past my guilt over Kelly enough to fall in love with Charlotte had been hard. Admitting it hadn’t been easy, either. And then she’d rejected me.