Behind His Lens(65)

“Everything is in my backpack, but I didn’t think about how sandy our food would get,” she frowns, running her toes through the sand.

I shake my head and swing my backpack down, “No worries, I brought a blanket.”

Her eyes flash up as she grins, “I should have known you would think to bring one.”

“Am I that dependable?”

She leans back to eye me up and down, skeptically. “I’d say… predictable.”

With a thud, I drop the bags onto the sand and eye her devilishly. “I’ll remember that, Charley.”

“Alright, alright. I wouldn’t use that word,” she pauses, holding her hands up in defeat as I spread out the blanket. “Thoughtful, controlling, demanding all come to mind though.”

“Demanding, huh?”

“Oh, yes. Very demanding,” her eyebrows perk up slightly.

“You don’t sound like you mind,” I challenge, sliding down onto the blanket.

She shakes her head. “I don’t think I do.” She sits down with her legs tucked under her, but she doesn’t meet my eyes again until after she unzips her bag and pulls out a small blue cooler. “I ordered some chicken salad, French bread, cheese, and fruit.” Her blue eyes hold a sense of unease. “Does that sound okay?”

Was she nervous that I wouldn’t like what she picked?

“Sounds awesome. I’m pretty hungry and I like chicken salad.”

“Me too. But I bet they didn’t make it as good as I can back home,” she declares with a grin as we begin to set out the food and make our plates.

“Oh really, Ms. forgets-to-eat, knows how to cook?”

“Hey! When I remember, I’m pretty good at making a few recipes. My chicken salad is really good. I add tarragon, cranberries, and toasted walnuts. It’s addicting.”

“Sounds like it would be.”

The sun keeps sliding down, painting the sky in hues of orange and red as we dive into our meal. The photo shoot wore me out and I know I could have fallen asleep in an instant if I’d stayed in my hotel room, but I didn’t want to miss this moment. The tropical air swirls around us, picking up strands of Charley’s hair and blowing them past her face. She tips her head up and closes her eyes briefly, accepting the soft caresses.

“Cheers to your first Hawaiian sunset, Charley.” I tip my bottled water toward hers, breaking the silence.

“Hopefully there will be many more,” she muses before taking another bite and reclining on her hands to take in the view.

“Can I ask when your last relationship was?” I know my question startles her because she sits up and furrows her brow for a moment before catching herself.

“Oh, um, it’s been quite a while. Sort of an embarrassingly long time.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not as if I have anything to boast about.”

“Well, it’s kind of complicated,” she starts, and I angle toward her a bit to let her know I’m listening.

“Hudson was my last long-term relationship, although interacting with him now makes me wonder what we even used to talk about. I guess we had more in common back then? Or maybe we’ve both changed a lot?” She rambles on for a moment, drawing on old memories. “I tried to date a guy my freshman year in college but it didn’t work out. My heart wasn’t in it and I ended things pretty quick.”

She squints her eyes toward the setting sun and takes a deep breath.

“Ever since then, I’ve just kind of floated around. I’ve been on a few dates here and there, but nothing past that.” She shrugs. “Is that how it was for you?”

Oh, how I wish it was. “Not exactly. I didn’t date women when I got back to New York. I never even considered it until…” Too soon. “Anyway, no. I used women and they used me, it was as simple as that. I never offered anything I didn’t intend on fulfilling.”

I expect her to recoil from my declaration, but when I glance over, she’s nodding slowly, methodically. “I honestly thought about doing the same thing,” she mutters, and my heart splinters. The idea of a man using her for anything makes my blood boil.

“I mean, I haven’t had sex in a long time,” she glances over at me with a sheepish grin, “like a long, long time. There were moments when I wanted to cave, but I didn’t think I’d be good at it. It’s not that I would get attached or anything. I’m actually good at remaining unattached; I just didn’t think it would be good for my self-esteem.”