Behind His Lens(45)

Janet told me that all of the models and crew are meeting in New York and a private jet will be taking all of us to Hawaii. It’s easier to coordinate if Ryan knows that everyone is safe and sound. The last thing he needs is a delayed flight and a missing model. I haven’t been on a private jet in years, since before my father’s charges were announced, but I’m excited to experience it again. As long as I can avoid Jude and whichever model he decides to replace me with. He said he didn’t date models, but we quasi-dated so that can’t be true. God, it kills me to think of him with another girl, but I keep reminding myself that that’s insane. We’ve known each other for one week. That’s not enough time to hand someone your heart. No, I’ve only handed him a few pieces. Pieces I wish I could take back and protect under lock and key again.

Throughout the week, most of my free hours have been spent preparing for the trip. I’ve nabbed a few sundresses and light scarves, a new pair of flat, strappy sandals for walking on the beach, and some travel-sized bathroom essentials.

By Thursday night I feel confident with my packing progress, so I decide to meet Naomi and Bennett for an early dinner. I have to be at the airport at six in the morning because the flight is scheduled for an ungodly eleven hours, but fortunately we don’t start shooting until Saturday. Hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on some sleep during the flight.


Pushing open the heavy oak door, the scent from the oven-baking pizza stirs memories of forgotten hunger. Pizza was my favorite food growing up and sometimes the aroma carries me back to simpler times. Today, I’m hoping that will be the case. I’ve been running even more this week, and if anything, I should gain a pound or two before the shoot. My jeans feel less snug than they usually do.

I’m sure people assume I’m thin from the pressures of the modeling world, but my problem stems from my lack of appetite and general over-thought. Like today for instance, I was too busy running errands and packing. The only thing I’ve had to eat was a protein bar this morning. It’s hard to remember to eat when you’re never hungry.

Oh well, Naomi chose my favorite food for a reason. She knows I’m nervous about the shoot and am in desperate need of a proper meal. When I scan the restaurant, relief washes over me as I spot her and Bennett sitting in a booth along the side wall. I didn’t think they’d lie to me, but a part of me figured Jude might have tagged along without me knowing. I’ll see him bright and early tomorrow morning, but I need another few hours to build my strength before I have to look into those gorgeous blue eyes again.

“Hey guys.” I smile and slide into the bench across from them. The two little lovebirds are squeezed together on one side of the booth. Their hands rest between them on the table, locked in a sweet display of affection. Should I be looking for a bridesmaid’s dress soon?

“There she is!” Naomi sings, pulling my attention away from their entwined hands.

Bennett casts me a wide smile. “Will we even get to hangout with you when you’re rich and famous?”

I blush and tug a hand through my hair. “Oh, be quiet. You know I’m going to hide out as much as possible.”

He laughs. “It’s strange that a girl like you would get into such a public profession.”

I nod because he’s right, but there’s more to it than that. “Yeah, well, if you saw the paycheck you might not think that. I’m essentially selling my soul and my right for privacy for a burlap sack with a money sign on it.”

“Ah,” he waggles his eyebrows, making us laugh.

A beat later, my eyes fall on Bennett’s tailored suit and Naomi’s gorgeous ivory wrap dress. Suddenly I feel way under-dressed in my slouchy jeans and knitted sweater, even if they are designer.

“Did you guys come straight from work?”

“Yeah,” they say in unison, and then smile lovingly toward one another as if they’re straight out of a 1950s afternoon special.

“Do you have to hide the relationship while you’re there, or does it not matter since you two are in different departments?” I ask, curious about how their relationship pans out during the work day. What would it be like to work with Jude? I can’t imagine my days would be very productive. I’d be on edge the whole day, wondering when he would turn the corner and find me daydreaming about him, drooling like a sap at my desk.

Bennett sighs, “We haven’t disclosed it with H.R. yet, but we should soon.”

“Oh, yeah, we should,” Naomi agrees, dropping her gaze. It’s a strange reaction, but I’ll let it slide for now. Maybe they’ve been avoiding discussing the topic. I’d imagine it’s a big step to make their relationship public at work. It puts more pressure on the situation and they probably don’t want to be the topic of workplace gossip.