Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(116)
"The worst of it is over now," Mother Miriam said quietly from the end of the cot where she was cleaning my thighs and between my legs.
"Is it . . . is it . . . did I?" I sobbed.
She was quiet for a minute. "Yes, Eden, I'm sorry. Your baby is gone."
Gone? Where? Where was my baby now? The small being I had only just begun to love so fiercely. What did I do with that love now?
I fell back on the cot and wailed, tears of grief and loss and horror. "I did this," I choked out. "I told him about the baby. This is my fault. This is all my fault."
"No, this is not your fault. And you will see your baby again in Elysium."
I wailed harder. "I'll kill Hector when I get there," I spat out. "I'll hunt him down and kill him! I don't care if he'll already be dead!" I choked on my own sobs.
"There is no hate in Elysium, Eden."
I turned over on the cot, rolled into a ball, and cried in misery.
"Calder tried to get to you when he heard your screams."
I turned over and looked at her through wet, swollen eyes.
"He fought like a warrior to get to you, child," she said softly, rubbing a cool washcloth on my forehead. "But in the end . . . there were just too many of them."
"Too many?" I squeaked out. "Is he . . .?"
"He's alive."
But I understood that he might not be for long. "Did they send Mother Willa to attend to him?"
Mother Miriam shook her head. "Mother Willa died last night," she said simply.
I pushed at her, trying to get out of bed.
Mother Miriam pushed me gently back down. "There is nothing you can do, Eden. They won't let you near him."
"Why are you letting this happen?" I cried.
Mother Miriam pursed her lips. "In Elysium, all our dreams will come true. In Elysium, we will be gods and goddesses. In Elysium, I will see my own children again, too," she said quietly.
"Then go to Elysium by yourself. Don't make us go with you," I yelled, another sharp cramp suddenly making me grab my stomach and wince.
"You'll have after-pains. It's normal. You need to rest."
She got up and left the sick tent, saying something to someone outside the door. A deep, male voice answered back. They'd put a guard outside.
I turned over on the cot and sobbed. So much pain. Physical. Emotional. This was agony. I didn't know if I could endure it. Calder, I'm trying to be your strong Morning Glory, but I don't think I can do this without you.
After a few minutes, the room grew measurably darker and I brought my head up and blinked, turning to the window. Outside, I had a perfect view of the moon. A shadow was moving across it. My heart sped up in my chest and I grasped the bed sheets in my hands. Confusion and disbelief slid slowly down my spine.
It was an eclipse.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Calder
I yelled out in rage and helplessness, and sunk down to the floor, breathing hard. Bringing my shirt up, I began to blot the blood I could feel running from my lip down my chin.
After a while, I paced the cage they'd put me in—the same one I'd been pacing in for two weeks now—as I tried to fathom a way to get out of this underground prison. The door was made of heavy steel, food brought only occasionally, with no regular pattern. I rationed the water they'd placed in the corner in one of the large jugs I used to carry down to the spring. The spring. No, don't think of that. Not now.
They'd come when I'd started hollering and yelling like a banshee after I'd heard Eden scream. And I'd gotten through the first three, but then ten more workers—I didn't even recognize all of them in my crazed state—had come running down the stairs and overtaken me. They'd fought me like I was the devil himself. I'd failed her. I'd told her I'd keep her safe, protected, and she'd trusted me. I fell onto the small bench and put my head in my hands. What had she had to endure? Yesterday had been her birthday and no one had come in at all. I'd thought I would go out of my mind.
I'd been reduced to begging at the door for someone to help me, but still no one came.
A small scraping sound came from outside my cell and I leaped up in time to see a small piece of paper being slid under my door. "Hey," I yelled. "Please! Let me out! Whoever's out there! Please!" Footsteps walked away and beyond that, I heard the outer door slam.
I picked up the note and tore it open.
She is Hector's wife now, in name only. Today, your baby was taken from her. She bore the pain with strength. She lives.
Cold horror dripped down my spine and I felt the words like a body blow. Your baby was taken from her . . . My baby? Taken? My brain reeled, trying to grasp the meaning of the words in front of me. I gripped my hair on the side of my head and attempted to calm my racing heart. Eden was carrying my baby? She had seemed just slightly . . . fuller, rounder in the last month. I just didn't think . . . I didn't think . . . My chest tightened and the strange choking sound was coming from me. Oh no, I'd tried to be so careful. No! I fell to my knees and let out a loud wail, lifting my head to the ceiling and shouting out my rage, my pain, and my unrelenting guilt. What pain had she endured because of me? My beautiful morning glory.