Beautifully Broken Pieces (Sutter Lake, #1)(71)

Ashlee ducked her head. “It’s no problem. I don’t want to interrupt, I just wanted to check in. Walker, do you need help with anything? Need me to bring you anything from the office or anywhere else? Or I could bring over some home-cooked meals? I’d be happy to help out in any way I can.”

Taylor gripped the counter, her knuckles turning white. The pieces clicked into place. She was jealous. I had to fight the chuckle that wanted to escape my throat. “I’m good, Ashlee, but thanks for the offer. I’ll be back to work in a couple days for desk duty.”

Surprise and relief shone in Ashlee’s eyes. “Oh, that’s wonderful. I’m so glad. I’ll just leave you to your lunch and see you in a few days.”

“I’ll see you out.” I ushered her out the door, waving as she hopped into her car. Heading back to the kitchen, I let the smile I’d been fighting take over my face.

Taylor looked up as I entered. “What’s with the dopey smile?”

I crossed to her, pulling her into my arms. “You were jealous.”

Taylor’s face scrunched up adorably. “I was not.”

“You were, too. And it was fucking cute.”

She tried to extricate herself from my arms, but I held firm. “I was not jealous. Now, will you please let me go? I’m trying to finish lunch.”

I dropped my arms. “What is going on with you? I’ve tried to be patient, to let you work through this on your own, but I think it’s time we talk.”

Taylor’s shoulders stiffened. “I don’t really think there’s anything to talk about.”

“How about the fact that you’ll barely let me touch you? How about that?”

Her head snapped up, and I saw fire in her eyes. “I haven’t wanted you to hurt yourself.”

“Well, the doctor cleared me, what’s your excuse going to be now?” I asked, throwing my arms wide.

Taylor flinched at my movement. “I just need some time.”

“Time for what?” I was not going to let her use this as an excuse to push me away. I refused.

“To think. I need some space to figure out what I want.”

“Well, which is it, Taylor? Time or space?” My temper teased the surface, and I knew I needed to keep it in check.

She twirled the ring on her finger. “I don’t know, maybe both.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’m no good for you, Walker.” Her words were soft and filled with such grief, they broke my heart.

“What are you talking about?”

Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’m a mess. Can’t you see that?” She swiped at her face, and I fought back the urge to pull her into my arms. “You got hurt, and all I want to do is run away. Do you know how fucked up that is? I think I might love you, and yet all I want to do is get as far away from you as possible at the time when you need me the most.”

My heart stuttered at her confession, warmth filling my chest. “Taylor, baby, that is totally understandable given what you’ve been through recently.” I reached for her, but she stepped out of my grasp, shaking her head back and forth.

“No, it’s not! You deserve better. Someone like Ashlee, who’d love nothing more than to be by your side through it all.”

“What the fuck? Seriously, Taylor, what the fuck? I do not want, nor have I ever wanted Ashlee. I want you. You’re mine, remember?”

“I’m broken, Walker.”

“Well, then all your beautifully broken pieces are mine.”

Taylor’s body visibly shuddered at my words. “I think I’m going to go back to LA for a while.”

My spine went ramrod straight. “No. You go, and I’ll follow your ass.”

Her shoulders slumped. “Please.” There were tears in her voice. “Please, Walker, I need to get my head straight.”

My teeth ground together with such force, I thought I might crack a molar. “I’ll give you space to get your head straight, if you promise me you won’t leave.”

Taylor blew out a slow breath. “All right.” Her eyes, full of tears, met mine. “I’m going to go now…if you’re okay on your own.”

I wanted to scream at her that I wasn’t fucking okay on my own, but I resisted the urge and nodded instead. She disappeared into the guest room she’d been staying in, I assumed to get her stuff, and I just stared at the two sandwiches assembled and placed on plates. Footsteps sounded, drawing my attention.

There she stood, duffle over one shoulder, so eager to walk right out of my life. “I’ll call you when I figure things out.” I nodded, and she headed for the door.

“You know I love you, right?”

She froze. “I know.” The words sounded so unbelievably tortured.

“To the depths of my soul. I’ll give you time, but don’t think I’m letting you walk out of my life so easily.”

Taylor’s head jerked in a nod as her shoulders shook with sobs, but she didn’t turn around. Instead, she walked right out the door.





38





Taylor





Tears clouded my vision as I drove down the gravel road back to my cabin. What the hell was I doing? I had no freaking clue. All I knew was that I needed space. I needed to retreat to the safety of my bubble, a place where there was no one it would destroy me to lose.