Beautifully Broken Pieces (Sutter Lake, #1)(70)

Emotions warred within me. Half of me wanted to crawl into the bed with him and get as close as possible. Force his heart to keep beating. The other half of me wanted to run. Run fast and far and never stop. I hated myself for that second piece.

I focused on the feel of Walker’s hand in mine, the beeping of the heart monitor. I forced myself to be strong. I stayed. I didn’t run. Even though I was scared spitless.

Minutes turned to hours, and still, I didn’t move from my spot. Finally, fatigue began to war with my eyelids, and I laid my head down on the side of Walker’s bed, not losing my gentle grip on his hand. Sleep claimed me within seconds.





A feather-light sensation on my head woke me. My eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to adjust to the light. A hand brushed along the side of my face. I shot up. “Walker!”

There he was, eyes fully open though ringed in dark circles. He looked as though he’d been through a war, and I guess in a way, he had. He was still the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. “Hey, Short-stack,” he said, his voice even rougher than usual.

I stood. “Are you okay? Do you need the nurse? Some water? Anything?”

Walker let out a low chuckle that turned into a wheezing cough. “I’m fine,” he said, his face laced with pain.

My brows pulled together tightly. “You don’t sound it. Let me get a nurse.”

He grabbed my hand, his hold strong. “They’ve already been in to look me over while you were asleep.”

My eyes widened. “And I didn’t wake up?”

A grin pulled at Walker’s lips. “You were out like a light. You even let out a couple adorable snores.”

My hands flew to my mouth. “I didn’t.”

His grin widened. “You did.” He grasped the edge of my shirt and tugged me closer to the bed.

I bent down and, with the gentlest touch I could manage, I brushed my lips against his. “Are you in much pain?”

Walker’s eyes bore into mine with an intensity that stole a beat of my heart. “It’s manageable.” He traced circles on the back of my hand with his finger. “I won’t lie, there were a few moments there where I wasn’t sure I would see your pretty face again.” The burning sensation was back again, and I bit the inside of my cheek. “There are some things I want to tell you—”

“Not now,” I interrupted, my heart giving a painful squeeze. “When you’re feeling better, we’ll talk about anything you want to, but right now, you need to rest.”

Walker’s eyes roamed my face, peering into my soul like always. I worried that he would call me on my brush-off, but he didn’t, he merely tugged me down into another lip touch. “You’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” The words sliced through my throat as though they were made of razor blades. I was his. But I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want him to own my heart and soul. Because I knew now that if I lost him—I’d never survive.





37





Walker





I pushed up to a seated position on the couch so that I could get a better view of Taylor in my kitchen. The injury to my chest barely hurt. Weeks had passed, and there was now only a slight pulling sensation when my muscles bunched and flexed. I’d have to log a few sessions with a local physical therapist to make sure everything was as it should be, but then it would be back to work. I’d be confined to a desk at first, but I’d be back in the field before long.

Each day, I got stronger. Each day, I healed. And each day, Taylor pulled away a little more. She made excuses not to share my bed, saying that she was afraid she’d bump my wound in the night. Every time I tried to deepen a kiss, she retreated. Today, she’d taken me to my latest doctor’s appointment, and I’d gotten the all-clear to return to the majority of my activities, including sex. I’d been thrilled, mentally planning all the ways I was going to take her when we got home.

Taylor had immediately rushed into the kitchen, saying she needed to make me lunch. I watched her staccato movements as she put together sandwiches, one of the few things even she with her cooking curse could prepare. It was as though she were on alert for a possible attack from any direction.

I got it. I really did. Taylor had lost so much, and just when she let her walls down, and began to really let me in, I’d almost died on her. It would take time for her to see that I wasn’t going anywhere. But I had all the time in the world.

My front doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” I called before Taylor could stop what she was doing. A frown pulled at her mouth, but she didn’t argue. I made my way to the door, pulling it open to find Ashlee standing there with a plate of cookies in her hands. “Hey, Ashlee.”

Pink tinged the woman’s cheeks. “Hi, Walker. I just wanted to check on you, see if you needed anything, and bring you some cookies.”

I gave her a gentle smile. “That’s very kind of you. Come on inside.” I stepped back to allow Ashlee to enter and closed the door behind her. “We can put these in the kitchen, Taylor’s in there making a couple sandwiches.” I led Ashlee down the hall towards the kitchen. “Short-stack, Ashlee’s here, and she brought cookies.”

There was a look on Taylor’s face that I couldn’t quite decipher. Some cross between pain and frustration that made no sense, but she greeted Ashlee warmly. “Hey, Ashlee. That’s so sweet of you.”