Beautiful Oblivion (The Maddox Brothers, #1)(51)

“I feel the same way. But I always knew this would be too hard on you.”

“People do it all the time.”

“Yes, but they talk more than eight or nine times a month.”

“So you knew it was over? Why bring me out here, then? To tell me it was okay that I couldn’t make it work?”

“I thought maybe if you were here, with me, we could both get a sense of what was really going on with you—if it was just too hard because we hadn’t seen each other in a while, or if you really had feelings for Trenton.”

I began to cry into my napkin again. I suspected people were surely staring, but I didn’t dare look up to check. “This is so humiliating,” I said, trying not to sob.

“It’s okay, honey. It’s just us.”

I lowered my hands just enough to look around. He was right. We were the last two customers in the restaurant. I was so preoccupied, I hadn’t even noticed.

“Can I get anything else for you, sir?” the server said. I didn’t have to see her face to know she was curious about what was going on at our table.

“Bring us the bottle,” T.J. said.

“Of the white?”

“Of the white,” T.J. said in his confident, smooth voice.

“Y-yes, sir,” she said. I could hear her shoes tap the floor as she walked away.

“Aren’t they closing soon?”

“Not for twenty minutes. We can kill a bottle by then, right?”

“Not a problem,” I said, faking amusement. At the moment, all I felt was sad, guilty, and ashamed.

His small, contrived smile faded. “You’re leaving tomorrow. We don’t need to make any decisions tonight. Or even tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy our time together.” He reached across the table, and intertwined his fingers in mine.

After a moment’s pause, I pulled away. “I think we both already know what’s happened.”

With sadness in his eyes, T.J. nodded.

My eyes popped open when the airplane wheels touched down, and I looked around, seeing everyone around me pulling out their cell phones and texting friends, family, or colleagues about their arrival. I didn’t bother turning my phone back on. Raegan would be at her parents’, and my family didn’t even know I’d been gone.

T.J. and I went to bed as soon as we got back to the town house the night before, knowing we both had to be up before sunrise to get me to the airport on time. He held me in his arms all night like he didn’t want to let me go, but the next morning at the airport, he hugged and kissed me good-bye like he meant it. It was forced, and sad, and distant.

I pushed the Smurf’s gearshift into Park, and stepped out onto the asphalt. Part of me hoped Trenton would be sitting on the cement in front of my door, but he wasn’t.

San Diego had been nearly balmy, and now I was back where my breath was visible. The air actually hurt my face. How does air hurt your face?

I unlocked the door, pushed through it, let it slam behind me, and then trudged to my bedroom, falling face-first into my wonderfully messy bed.

Raegan padded down the hall in her bare feet. “How was it?” she asked from the doorway.

“I don’t know.”

The floor creaked under her as she walked to my bed and sat next to me. “Are you still together?”

“No.”

“Oh. Well . . . that’s good, right? I mean, even though T.J. hadn’t spoken to you until Trent kissed you, and suddenly he bought you a ticket to California . . .”

“Not tonight, Ray.”

“Trenton came by the Red tonight. He looked pretty awful.”

“Yeah? Did he leave with anyone?” I peeked out from the pillow.

Raegan hesitated. “Right before last call. He was sloppy drunk.”

I nodded, and then buried my face in the pillow.

“Just . . . tell him,” Raegan pleaded. “Tell him about T.J.”

“I can’t,” I said. “And you can’t, either. You promised.”

“I still don’t understand what all the secrecy is about.”

“You don’t have to,” I said, looking up at her, straight into her eyes. “You just have to keep the secret.”

Raegan nodded. “I will.”

It seemed like I’d barely closed my eyes when Raegan was shaking me awake.

I groaned.

“You’re going to be late for work, Cami! Get your ass up!”

I didn’t budge.

“You just took off two days, last-minute. Cal is going to fire your ass! Get up!” She clasped her hands around my ankle and dragged me until I fell off the bed, hard.

“Ow! Damn it, Ray!”

She leaned down. “It’s eleven thirty! Get up!”

I looked at the clock and then jumped up, racing around my bedroom and swearing repeatedly. Barely brushing my teeth, I resorted to a bun and glasses. The Smurf didn’t want to wake up, either, and she whirred like a dying cat before finally starting up.

The clock on the wall at Skin Deep said 12:07 when I walked through the door. Hazel was already on the phone, and Calvin stood next to her, frowning.

“What the hell are you wearing?” he asked.

I looked down at my plum skinny jeans and black-and-white horizontal-striped long-sleeved shirt. “Clothes.”