Beautiful Darkness(106)

By the time I woke up, the flames had consumed us both.





“Ethan? Wake up. We have to get going.”

I sat up, breathing hard and dripping with sweat. I held out my hands. Nothing. Not a burn, not so much as a scratch. It was a nightmare. I looked around. Liv and Link were already up. I rubbed my face with my hands. My heart was still pounding, as if the dream was real and I had almost died. I wondered again if it was my dream or Lena's. I wondered if that was really how it ended for us. Fire and death, just as Sarafine would want it.

Ridley was sitting on a rock, sucking on a lollipop, which was sort of pathetic. During the night, she seemed to have moved from a state of shock to one of denial. She was acting as if nothing happened. No one really knew what to say. She was like one of those war vets suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, who come home and think they're still on the battlefield.

She was staring at Link, tossing her hair and looking at him expectantly. “Why don't you come on over here, Hot Rod?”

Link limped over to my backpack and pulled out a bottle of water. “I'll pass.”

Ridley pushed her shades on top of her head and stared at him even more intently, which made it clear her powers were gone. In the light of day, Ridley's eyes were as blue as Liv's.

“I said come over here.” Ridley inched her short skirt farther up her bruised thigh. I felt sorry for her. She wasn't a Siren anymore, just a girl who looked like one.

“Why?” Link wasn't catching on.

Ridley's tongue was bright red as she gave her lollipop one last lick. “Don't you want to kiss me?” For a second, I thought Link might play along, but that would only delay the inevitable.

“No, thanks.” He turned away, and it was obvious he felt guilty.

Ridley's lip quivered. “Maybe it's temporary, and my powers will come back.” She was trying to convince herself more than anyone.

Someone had to tell her. The sooner she faced reality, the sooner she would be able to move on. If she could. “I think they're really gone, Ridley.”

She whipped around to face me, her voice shaky. “You don't know that. Just because you went out with a Caster doesn't mean you know anything.”

“I know Dark Casters have yellow eyes.”

I heard the breath catch in her throat. She grabbed the bottom of her filthy tank top and yanked it up. Her skin was still smooth and golden, but the tattoo that had encircled her navel was gone. She ran her hands across her stomach, and then crumbled.

“It's true. She really took my powers.” Ridley opened her fingers, letting the lollipop fall into the dirt. She didn't make a sound, but the tears ran down her face in two silver lines.

Link walked over and held out his hand to pull her up. “That's not true. You're still pretty bad. I mean, hot. For a Mortal.”

Ridley jumped to her feet, hysterical. “You think this is funny? That losing my powers is like losing one of your stupid basketball games? They're who I am, you idiot! Without them I'm nothing.” Black streaks ran down her cheeks. She was shaking.

Link picked up her lollipop out of the dirt. He opened the water bottle and doused it. “Give it some time, Rid. You'll develop charms all your own. You'll see.” He handed it back to her. Ridley stared back at him blankly.

Without looking away, she hurled the lollipop as far as she could.





6.20





Common Thread


I had barely slept. Link's arm was swollen and purple. None of us were in any shape to trek through the muddy forest, but we didn't have a choice.

“You guys okay? We should go.”

Link touched his arm and winced. “I've felt better. Like, I don't know, every other day a my life.”

The gash on Liv's face was already beginning to scab over. “I've felt worse, but that's a long story, which involves Wembley Stadium, a bad trip on the tube, and far too many d?ner kebabs.”

I picked up my backpack, caked with mud. “Where's Lucille?”

Link looked around. “Who knows? That cat's always disappearin’. Now I know why your aunts kept her on a leash.”

I whistled into the trees, but there was no sign of her. “Lucille! She was here when we got up.”

“Don't worry, man. She'll find us. Cats have that sixth sense, you know?”

“She was probably tired of following us around, since we never get anywhere,” Ridley said. “That cat's a whole lot smarter than we are.”

I lost track of their conversation after that. I was too busy listening to the one in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about Lena and what she'd done for me. Why had it taken me so long to see what was right in front of me?

I knew Lena had been punishing herself all this time. The self-imposed isolation, the morbid pictures of headstones taped to her walls, the Dark symbols in her notebook and all over her body, wearing her dead uncle's clothes, even hanging out with Ridley and John — it was never about me. It was about Macon.

But I never realized I was an accomplice. Lena had a constant reminder of the crime she was trying herself for, over and over again. A constant reminder of what she lost.

Me.

She had to look at me every day and hold my hand and kiss me. No wonder she was so hot and cold, kissing me one minute and running away from me the next. I thought about the song lyrics, written over and over again on her walls.