Bearly Hanging On (The Jamesburg Shifters #6)(13)

She couldn't hold everything against him, no matter how much she wanted to.

Jamie accidentally laughed, or rather, snorted into the phone. "Sorry," she said. "New guy is really laying it on thick."

Elena laughed next. "Yeah, you think he'd figure out by now that no one works at the courthouse."

Jamie, ever the picture of elegance, snorted, and then made a sort of honking sound. "God, I know," she said. "At least Erik and Izzy have stopped doinking all the time."

"How's that going, by the way?"

"Them not doinking? He's getting cranky, but—"

"No, no, her being pregnant with a wolf. I can't imagine how much of a saggy, baggy mess I'm going to be when West decides he wants to have a bouncing cub."

"Oh God, don't even start," Jamie said. "Imagine how stretched out I'll be when—" she caught herself before she said anything, but really, she already said plenty. Elena, however, chose not to say anything, which was pretty damn nice of her, considering.

"Wait a second," she said about four breaths later.

Yeah, okay maybe she didn't gracefully pass up the chance.

"Did you just admit that you're doinking the guy you bit and then put up in my house while he got over being a vamp snack?"

Jamie took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I, er, well first thing, can we stop saying 'doink'? It reminds me of the noise a clown hammer makes. You know, the big inflatable rubber things you win at the fair?"

Elena imitated the sound, and then imitated Jamie's generally breathy, calm voice. "I'm Jamie and I'm doinking a lumberjack bear that tried to steal a cow."

There went the honking again. She really wished she could stop doing that, but right then it was too late for her to quit sounding like a goose every time something funny happened. Luckily, she didn't have to explain herself because a very pissed off Erik Danniken's voice burst through the PA on Norman's desk.

“I am not doinking the lumberjack,” Jamie said, before more squawking came through the PA.

Jamie took the phone away from her head and craned her neck to listen. "Oh hell, hey, Elena? I think I gotta go. Erik's ranting about something, and Pee Wee gets all upset whenever he can't calm him down.”

"It'd probably help if you quit calling him Pee Wee, but all right. I'll catch you later. And don't think I'm gonna forget about you putting your boyfriend in my house."

Jamie went to correct her, but as soon as she had her mouth open, the line went dead. So instead, she just shook her head and laughed - normally this time, because she only honked when other people were listening. She stretched her wings, and immediately thought about the only other thing she did only when people were watching: pretend that being different didn't bother her.

She clenched her eyes closed and focused.

"That. Ass. Hole," Erik said it like that to punctuate each word and make himself sound more well-spoken. No one had ever figured out why he thought it worked like that. "He is stealing food! And wood! Why wouldn't he give me time to do something about all those old people? Hell, you know I have no idea what in the world to do about them."

Jamie pushed the button on her intercom. Why am I about to defend this guy? Why am I, Jamie Ampton, notoriously cold, calculating and budget conscious Jamie Ampton, about to defend someone who is stealing shit?

"What?" Erik snapped.

She'd forgotten she had the button down. "Oh, sorry, anyway, the reason he's stealing things is because you aren't doing anything. We both know you're not going to try and blow a bunch of the town's taxes on old people you didn't know existed."

Erik grunted. "Yeah, did you know they existed, wise, er, bat?"

At that point, she had to bite her tongue. "Yeah, okay, got me there."

He chuffed smugly. "Well then what is it you want me to do? How am I supposed to feed a bunch of people I didn't know existed? How about we get some magic tunas and use those magic fish and some magic, uh, pancakes or something to..."

"You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?" Jamie quirked a smile. "You never change."

"That's true, on both counts, but I'm lovable as all hell, huh? Anyway, get down here, both of you. Pee Wee," Erik started talking to Norman. "I want you to bring me a bagel with cream cheese, cheddar cheese, a hamburger patty, a sausage patty and three eggs. And Jamie?"

"A bucket in which to vomit after you eat that?" she asked, shaking her head.

"No, just bring yourself. You're the smart one. Pee Wee can handle the bucket. Wait, what bucket? I don't need any—"

She let go of the button and hit the power on the intercom in one smooth motion. With one step, she was halfway to the door. With a second one, she'd turned around, grabbed the pile of papers on her desk that she'd been poring over, and headed back out.

I knew they were there, but I had no idea how many there were. No idea how desperate things had gotten. Well, let’s just say that even vampires have hearts from time to time.

When she hit the bottom of the stairs that led from her attic office to the main floor with all the others - her hearing was so sensitive she had to get away from the noise, or she could hear everything - the whole place was buzzing with activity. Strange, for just after nine in the morning on a Thursday.