Bang (Black Lotus #1)(73)
I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.
Don’t ever tell me not to worry.
When I notice it’s after two in the morning, I respond.
Why are you up so late?
I told you. I can’t stop thinking about you and if you’re okay. I got used to having you in my bed and now all I can picture is you lying next to him.
I don’t know what to say. What do you want me to say?
That you feel what I feel.
I do.
Tell me.
I _____ you.
What does that mean?
There’s not a single word I can think of that could properly describe how I feel about you, but I feel it and it’s powerful.
So you _____ me, huh?
Yeah.
I _____ you too. I want to see you. Tomorrow.
Okay. I can get away during the day.
Come to 31st Street Harbor. Dock-K. Slip-47.
You have a boat?
Yes. What time can you be there?
10am.
10am. Don’t be late.
I shake my head at his need for control and grin as I message him back.
Trust me, I won’t. My ass and * are both still mad at you.
Ass, maybe, but there is no way your * could still be mad with the number of orgasms I have given it since.
You think so?
I know so. I’m getting hard just thinking about your divine * wrapped snug around my cock.
His crass words come as no surprise to me. Declan has a filthy mouth that he’s let loose a few times. He’s so blunt and honest in bed, never feeling the need to be modest with his words in any fashion.
Mmmm.
I’m serious. I have to control my thoughts because as soon as I think about you I get rock hard.
I’ll be sure to take extra special care of you tomorrow. I can’t have you walking around like that. The women already stare at you as it is, fantasizing about riding that cock.
Nobody is riding this but you.
I laugh and give him a taste of his possessive words and type my response.
MY cock!
Fuck. You’re killing me. I’m going to bury it so deep inside of you tomorrow.
I’m not going to want to let you go. I already miss you terribly.
Love that. My girl.
Your girl.
It takes him a while to respond as I sit here in the darkened room until he finally sends his next text.
Did you f*ck him today?
Declan, you can’t ask me that.
Make sure you’re clean and don’t f*ck him before you come see me tomorrow.
His request makes his jealousy crystal clear. I’ll tell him whatever makes him feel better, but I won’t stop f*cking Bennett. I have to keep my charade up with him too.
Please don’t treat me like that.
I’m serious. I’ll lose my shit if I smell him on you.
You won’t. Now stop being a dick and be nice to me.
Getting feisty?
I shake my head with a smile.
Always feisty.
I know. We need to work on that.
I’m not subservient!!!
You could be. ;)
Now you’re just trying to get a rise out of me. I get your little game, McKinnon. Push me till I defy you so that you can get your jollies by ‘teaching me a lesson.’
You’ve got me all figured out, don’t you?
Does that bother you? That I can read you?
No. I love that you can read me. Now I just have to figure out how to read you.
Hmm…Maybe I like being a mystery.
I think we both know that I can see past your walls pretty well. Hide all you want, darling, but I’ll always find you.
You think so?
I know so. When I want something, I do what it takes to get it.
So, McKinnon, tell me. What is it that you want?
You. You already know that, but I like that you asked me anyway just so you could get the affirmation you were apparently seeking, which tells me all I need to know.
And what’s that?
That you want me too.
Possibly.
Don’t be coy. You don’t need to play that game with me because you already have my full interest. I get that you’re scared, but you don’t need to be with me.
You sure about that?
There’s no doubt. What about you?
I take a moment and think about how I want to respond to his question. I don’t want to be too blunt and just say yes.
I’m afraid.
Of what?
Afraid that you’ll hurt me.
Never.
Don’t say never because you’re very capable.
If you’re afraid, I’ll hold you.
And what if I freak out?
I’ll hold you tighter.
It’s now that I realize I have a huge smile splayed across my face that has been there for most of this conversation. Regardless of the truth as to what is going on, Declan is fun to talk to. He always has been. Despite the evil I’m playing and the lies I’ve told him, I feel like I have a friend. I’m playing him just as I am with Bennett, but I despise Bennett whereas Declan was never a person I had any disparaging feelings towards. The only fault is that he’s the unlucky bastard that fell for me.
You better have a good grip.
No one will ever hold you tighter.
I could stay up all night talking to you, but I have a date tomorrow morning that I cannot be late for.