Bang(81)

I lie here for quite a while until the pain starts to dull into a continuous heated ache. After I take a few Tylenol, I shift to my side, bringing my shoulder off the bed to relieve some of the pressure. Pike spoons in behind me and lifts my top to bare my shoulder.

“Fuck,” he murmurs.

“What?”

“This looks really bad.”

“That’s the point, right?” I groan.

“Yeah,” he says. “This just already looks nasty.”

He gently plants a few kisses around my back where I hurt, and then drags his hand over my side and up my stomach. I push his hand away when he runs it over my breast.

“Not tonight,” I tell him.

“What’s going on?” he questions. I never turn down sex with Pike. It’s always been something I’ve needed. He’s my painkiller, taking away the ick in me, but for some reason, I don’t feel like I need it this time.

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “I just . . . I’m okay. I don’t know why I feel this way, but I do.”

“Come here,” he says as he gently helps me roll over to face him. “What’s going on?”

I see the confusion in him, but I feel it too. I’ve always been transparent with Pike, so I shrug and try to explain, “I don’t know. Everything has just been so crazy lately. Maybe I’m just distracted, but I feel like I’m okay to not have sex with you right now.”

“Are you sure? Because I worry about you. This worries me about you.”

“I’m okay,” I try to assure him.

“You’ve always needed me.”

“I still need you, Pike. I’m always going to need you,” I tell him and then give him a kiss.

We both linger in it for a moment before he pulls back and asks, “So how much longer do you think?”

“He’s pretty firm on having me to himself,” I explain. “He despises Bennett, so I don’t think this will stretch out too long. It’s hard to say though, but he’s really intense. I think if he’s triggered at just the right moment, he would snap.”

“So you think he has it in him to kill Bennett?”

Swallowing hard, I think about what I know about Declan and answer honestly, “Yeah.” But the thought makes my gut twist, knowing that I’m about to ruin this man’s life by luring him into becoming a murderer. Pike and I always agreed from the start that we would make sure the blame lies elsewhere. It’s the only way to ensure we remain safe and can move on to our new life of wealth and satisfaction. With Bennett alone, this was so easy, but now having Declan involved has made it a little difficult for me to keep my focus.





IT’S BEEN HALF an hour since Declan went up to the rooftop deck. When I got here and he was helping me take my coat off, I flinched in pain. He’d demanded to see my back and when I showed him the black and purple bruises that cover most of my upper back, he lost his shit. I’ve never seen him so furious before. He then apologized and said he needed some space to calm down. He grabbed his coat and went up to his private deck and has been there ever since, leaving me here on his couch waiting for him. But the temperatures are in the negatives, and I’m worried.

I go ahead and shrug my coat on before walking up the stairs to the door that leads outside. I spot him through the window, sitting on one of the wicker chairs. He has his face hidden in his hands, leaning over with his elbows resting on his knees as the snow falls over him.

I feel like shit.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?

Pull your shit together; you’ve got a job to do.

My guilty conscience doesn’t abate. I care about Declan, and I don’t want to hurt him, but I have to. I have to make him feel this to drive him to kill Bennett. I just wasn’t prepared to feel this way. When I notice his shivering hands, I open the door and walk over to him. He doesn’t move as I kneel down in front of him, bracing my hands on his knees.

“Declan.” My voice is soft as I speak to him. “It’s freezing out here. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

He lifts his head and moves his hands to my face. “I’m already sick. Seeing what he did to you was all it took.”

“Don’t let him ruin our time together,” I tell him and then stand up, taking his hands in mine. “Come inside with me.”

We go back in and head downstairs to his bedroom. Declan doesn’t speak as he walks into his closet to strip out of his cold, damp clothes and returns to me wearing nothing but long pajama bottoms. He lies down on the bed, slipping under the covers.

“Take your clothes off and come to me,” he says.

I stand in front of him as he watches me undress. The expression on his face is difficult to read as I drop my clothes to the floor. When I slip my panties off, I pull the sheets back and crawl in next to him.

We hold each other close, his body freezing against my warm skin.

“You feel so good,” he murmurs into my hair while his deft hands roam over my naked body.

The need to comfort him is strong, so I wrap myself around him to warm him up. When he shifts me on top of him, I lay my chest against his, skin against skin, and he’s instantly hard. Without thinking, our bodies begin to slowly move together, and I lift my head to kiss him. I want to take his pain away. The pain I inflicted. His soft lips feather against mine in light brushing kisses—sensual kisses—taking our time to simply feel each other.