Bait & Switch (Alphas Undone #1)(37)

But none of that was any of Greyson’s business. I couldn’t blab Daniella’s whole private, painful history just to make a point. And deserting her in a time of need would make me an ass.

Greyson interrupted my stony silence. “Actually, screw this. Daniella’s a big girl. Why not talk to her directly, instead of just talking about her?”

Because that would make this mess feel way too real. Because it meant my whole life was poised on the edge of a cliff. I struggled to come up with an explanation that wouldn’t make Grey laugh in my face.

Eyes narrowed, I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m not doing that.” Bringing this up now would only make her worry. I would tell her when I had a final decision.

“Damn it, Nolan,” Grey muttered. For a long moment, he just stared at me, a somber expression on his face and his beer paused halfway to his mouth. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Holding a friend as he died in your arms would f*ck anyone up.”

Oh, hell no. He of all people did not get to throw that in my face.

“This has nothing to do with Marcus,” I growled.

“The f*ck it doesn’t.” Finally, Grey set down his glass and spun on the bar stool to face me fully. “You want my honest opinion or not?”

I shrugged. Sure, why the hell not?

“I think you’re an idiot. You’ve got a woman who loves you, and you’re sitting here wringing your hands about it to me. If you end things with Daniella, you can still hang out with her. She’ll still be your friend with her clothes on. But if you end things with Lacey, you lose all of her. Everything your relationship could have been. A whole future full of possibilities. And you’ll regret blowing that chance for the rest of your life.”

“You don’t know that,” I muttered.

“Tell me one thing you like about Lacey, and would genuinely miss if she wasn’t in your life.”

I thought it over for a good long while. There was more than one thing . . . a lot more. Which might have been his entire point in asking me.

“She likes kissing me. A lot,” I finally answered, feeling like a sentimental prick as a smug grin tugged up my lips.

“And Daniella doesn’t?” He chuckled.

He really had no idea about the kink. Our relationship wasn’t built on that kind of emotional intimacy. Just a f*ck-load of trust. She provided what I needed, and I gave her the same in return.

“No,” I said simply.

Grey looked at me with a sort of sad gleam in his eye. Like he was happy I found someone who loved me enough to kiss me. Openly. On the mouth. All the time.

But shit, it wasn’t like he had anyone, either. I knew he didn’t have anyone warming his bed and loving on him. He spent all his time at work or at the gym. When he occasionally took a girl home, I never heard of her again.

“I think you have your answer, dude.” He looked at me knowingly.

I grunted in acknowledgment, just to end this f*cking conversation already. Little did he know I wasn’t about to trade in my whole world for some good *.

We finished our drinks in silence for the next half hour. There was no escape from my own thoughts.

Grey didn’t understand that I would lose more than sex if I ended things with Daniella. She represented my entire way of life for the past two years. My partner, my counterweight. We shared the same purpose. We could fulfill each other’s needs for sex and companionship without getting attached enough to get hurt.

Until I met Lacey, I could have maintained that equilibrium forever. But she’d knocked me off-balance. And if I let those scales tip, there was no going back, whatever my new life had in store.

But, I realized, it was already too late. I’d reached the point of no return. Discontent had already crept into me. I’d tasted what a woman’s love could offer, and the life that had once satisfied me now left me cold and hungry. Lacey promised me more, and even if I wasn’t sure, did I really want to remain in this lukewarm limbo?

Last night, when Lacey had caught me in bed with Daniella and run away, my panic had left no room for confusion. Seeing Lacey like that had driven out every other thought. The idea that she might be scared or hurt had made me run after her on pure instinct. In that moment, my priorities had turned crystal clear.

And if the situations were reversed, I would never be okay with sharing Lacey with another man. The thought alone made me feel homicidal. Knowing someone else was touching her? It made me want to beat the motherf*cker within an inch of his life.

But I wasn’t about to tell Grey that he was right . . . and face every emotion I’d turned off. At least, not yet.





Chapter Sixteen


Lacey

I hadn’t heard from Nolan in two days. Worry and doubt hadn’t just started to creep in; they took over every cell of my being, settling in and demanding attention. I felt achy and tired all the time, despite sleeping more than usual.

Knowing I’d put him in a difficult spot with Daniella, I felt terrible asking him to decide. He’d been up front from the beginning, I’d known about her the entire time, and Daniella hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet now I was asking him to essentially kick her out and give me exclusivity when I hadn’t even been honest about my own past yet.

That would come. I knew it had to, but for now, I couldn’t deny myself what I wanted. What was that saying? The heart wants what it wants. And mine wanted Nolan.