Bait: The Wake Series, Book One(100)

“I've got to go,” I told him. I knew on some level that he was right, but f*ck him for saying it after it was too damn late.

“You do that. Come see your Godson when you get home. And your mom. You can't run all the time.”

His words were spot on. Run. That was what I was doing, but I honestly didn’t know how to stay.

He was irritated at me and had every right to be. I didn't know what else to do.

I flew to St. Louis. It was the next flight out when I arrived back at the airport for the third time that day.

I drank a belly full at the Adam's Mark. The bar was big and full. There had been a Cardinals game and I was surprised that for midnight on a Sunday night it was still that busy. They had won and the place looked like Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

I didn't go home that week. I was supposed to have a few days off, but I spent them in St. Louis walking around downtown and sitting on a barstool wherever I found one.

Days went by, I jumped back into my regular routine.

Work.

Sleep.

Dream.

Blake.

Then I did it all over and over again.

Money rolled in, I was officially a partner in the company. The new building was up and running, and I was keeping them busy writing new deals with clients and increasing the shipments with customers we’d already won over.

As May 23rd crept closer and closer, I battled with myself.

On May 3rd, I decided it was bullshit. I hated her and at least she wasn't marrying me with her cheating ass. Then, I rationalized that I knew better.

On May 4th, I Googled How To Stop A Wedding. That was interesting reading.

I went back and forth, over and over in my head.

Text her. Call her. I did none of those things.

On May 11th, I decided I had to lay it all out there. Had to give it one last shot. Otherwise I was never going to climb out of this funk.

On May 22nd, I rented a car, figuring that by the time I got to her, I'd know what to say.





Saturday, May 23, 2009


I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT to say or think. Everything felt surreal.

I woke up at my mom and dad's house, the morning of my wedding, and simply went through the motions.

My mother was already in the shower. It was five a.m. I only had Micah and a few cousins standing up with me as bridesmaids. My mother having taken the helm of the wedding ship shortly after it began, took it upon herself to nominate them. I went along and asked. They said yes. Everyone was happy.

We were all getting ready here at nine.

Micah and Cory drove up with Deb, Casey and Cory's mom. She came to help them with Foster since he was still so tiny. I told Micah that it was silly for her to come all this way after just having him, but she wouldn't hear of it.

They were staying at a hotel nearby, which I think made both Micah and Cory feel much better.

My dad asked, “Blake, what's on your mind?” as I drank my first cup of coffee in my pajamas.

“Oh, stuff,” I said, blowing air across the hot mug.

“Anything you want to run by your old dad?” he said, reading the paper.

“I don't think so,” I told him, taking a seat next to him, grabbing the entertainment section.

“It's your wedding, Blake. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous or anxious,” he offered. “You got some cold feet?”

“I don't know. I don't know if they were ever really all that warm,” I admitted.

My father put his paper down, folded it, and placed his mug down on top.

“Talk,” he said.

I took a few breaths, tried to organize my thoughts so that I didn't sound like a maniac. Like the selfish little bitch I was. Then, I told the truth.

“I don't know if this is right. I don't know if Grant is the one.” My eyes started to burn and I rubbed them, trying to pass off the action for early morning grogginess.

“Why not? Don't you love him?”

“I do. But sometimes it feels like it's missing something.”

“Like what?” he asked sympathetically.

“Like me.” My f*cking lip started to quiver, so I hid it by taking a drink.

“Well, I hate to break it to you, baby doll, but today is your wedding day. It would be devastating if you weren't there.”

“I'm not saying that.”

“I think I know what you're saying. So, hear me out. You don't feel like yourself when you're with Grant? Is that it? Like you're someone else?”