Back to You(30)

“You okay?” he asked.
“You still do that,” she said with a sad smile.
Michael pulled his brow together and looked down at himself.
He was holding the slice backward, completely intact except for the large bite he had taken out of the crust.
He blinked before he looked back up at her, but she had already turned her attention to Erin.
“How’s your pizza?”
“Good,” Erin mumbled around a large mouthful of food, and Lauren laughed, sliding Erin’s drink closer to her. She grabbed it with both hands, taking a long sip through the straw.
“Are you somebody’s mommy?” she asked after she had swallowed.
“No, I’m not,” Lauren answered.
“How come?”
“Erin,” Michael said firmly.
“No, it’s okay,” said Lauren before she turned back to Erin. “Because I haven’t met someone who would be a good daddy yet. When I find someone who I think will be a good daddy, then I’ll be ready to be a mommy.”
“My daddy’s a good daddy,” she said, and Michael choked on the sip of soda he’d just taken, covering his mouth to mask the coughing.
“Well you’re a lucky girl,” she answered without missing a beat.
“You’ll be a good mommy,” Erin stated matter-of-factly, and Lauren rubbed her hand over Erin’s hair.
“Thank you.”
“My mommy lives far away.”
Michael looked up just in time to see Lauren’s eyes flash to his, her expression startled.
“But she still loves me a lot. Daddy, can I go back and play some more?”
Michael cleared his throat. “Um…yeah. Go ahead, baby.” Before he even finished his sentence, Erin was out of the booth and running back toward the Toddler Zone.
“God, I’m so sorry about that,” Michael exhaled.
“It’s fine,” she said. “I’ve spent the past three years working with five-year-olds. Her line of questioning was mild by comparison.”
Michael laughed softly, tossing his pizza to his plate. “God, this is awful.”
“Yeah, I’ve had better,” she said with a laugh before she turned to look at Erin. “Look at her,” she smiled. “Have you thought about enrolling her in gymnastics?”
Michael looked over to where Erin was attempting cartwheels with another little girl in the play area.
“I haven’t. I don’t know of any places around here. And besides, she’s a Delaney no matter how many times, le, so I didn’t think gymnastics would be in the cards for her.”
Lauren put her drink down abruptly, covering her mouth to avoid spitting all over the table, and Michael grinned. “You remember?” he asked.
“Of course I remember,” she said through her laughter. “That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. My God, you looked like an arachnid or something. Just legs and arms everywhere.”
“Hey!” he said in mock offense. “I had never done anything remotely gymnastics related, and you expected me to be able to just do a backflip!”
“It wasn’t a backflip,” she scoffed. “It was a back handspring. Much easier. You get to use your hands for that.”
“Still,” he laughed. “And anyway, I think maybe I could have learned how to do it if my instructor hadn’t been laughing and making fun of me the whole time.”
Lauren laughed again, staring at her straw as she twirled it between her fingers. She inhaled deeply, and when she exhaled, her face changed; her smile dropped and she pulled her brow together.
No, Michael thought. No, don’t go backward.
Lauren shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. “I’m gonna go to the ladies’ room,” she said, glancing up at him with the same contrived smile he had become so familiar with over the past two months. Before he could even respond, she was out of her seat and walking quickly toward the lobby.
Michael dropped his head against the back of the booth and closed his eyes.
In that moment, for just a split second, she had been the Lauren he left behind all those years ago. And although he had no right to expect that version of her, he still felt cheated when she retreated back to her guarded self.
When he watched her with Erin, he could see the real her: the kindness, the humor, the tenderness.
But the second she turned to look at him, the slight veil would shade her eyes, and the invisible wall would go up.
It could have been worse; he recognized that. She didn’t have to be as nice as she was being to him. She could have berated him, castigated him, told him exactly what she thought of him and exactly where he could go.