BAD REP(152)

“Oh, well that's great,” I said lamely and then we fell into an uncomfortable silence.

“I uh, guess we should be going,” I said finally as Jordan and I started to walk around her.

“Wait!” Olivia called out before we were able to go inside.  Jordan and I turned back around.  Olivia ran back up the steps until she stood in front of us again.

“I just wanted to say...that I'm really, really sorry with everything that happened this year.  I had no idea Milla was doing that stuff to you, Maysie.  But it's not like I didn't contribute to it all.  I was a bitch.  A jealous, spiteful bitch.” Her eyes glistened with tears as she looked at Jordan again.

“I'm sorry, Jordan.  For never treating you the way you deserved to be treated.  I'm sincerely glad you've found someone who makes you happy.  I really am.” She was being genuine and I knew this was hard for her to say.  But I appreciated her saying it all the same.

Jordan squeezed her shoulder.  “Thanks, Liv.  I'm sorry too.  I handled things really badly and I hate myself for hurting you.  You're a good person.”  They looked at each other for a long minute.  I stepped back a bit, knowing they needed this closure.

I was surprised to see that I didn't feel jealous or worried.  I was just glad to see that these two people, who had been such a huge part of each other's lives, were ending things in a positive way.

Olivia reached out and took Jordan's hand.  “Good luck, Jordan.  With everything.”  Jordan let her hold his hand and I saw him smile down at her.

“You too, Liv.  I know you'll be conquering the world in no time.”  Olivia laughed.  Not in a flirty, come hither way, but in a way shared by two friends with a long history.

Olivia dropped his hand and stepped back.  “Well, you know, one thing at a time.”  I watched as she discreetly wiped at her eyes and I knew she had teared up at this final goodbye with the boy she had loved for so long.

Looking back over at me, she smiled.  “Take care of him, Mays,” she said.  Jordan had come back to my side and looped his arm around my waist.

“I plan on it,” I responded, giving her a wave as she walked away.

Jordan let out a breath and seemed deep in thought.  “How are you feeling?” I asked him as we walked inside.

“Good actually.  I'm really glad we were finally able to leave things in a way that didn't hurt either of us.”  He kissed the top of my head.  “I'll always care about Olivia.  But it's nice to be able to finally leave that in the past so I can focus on my future.”  His eyes twinkled and I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me.

I thought I'd be rattled after our conversation with Olivia, but instead I felt only a sense of closure.  As though the horridness of the last year was finally behind us.

“Let me get lunch, you go grab us a table,” Jordan said.  I gave him my order and headed over to a small table by the window.  I couldn't help but watch the way he moved through the crowd toward the counter.  It still blew my mind that this amazingly wonderful guy was mine.  That he loved me.  After everything we went through to get to this place, I knew I wouldn't have changed a thing.  Because it all brought me here.  To him.

Ten minutes later, Jordan came over with our food and sat down beside me.  He pulled his chair as close to mine as he could get, putting his arm across the back.  I leaned into him, never able to get enough of his nearness.

Jordan and I ate our lunches while we planned our vacation.  Most of it involved lots of time spent in our room.  Though sand and surf were on the agenda as well.   Jordan pulled out his cell phone and started searching for a scuba school he had read about.  He had it in his head that we were going to learn to scuba dive while we were in Mexico.  I was less confident about it than he was.  You know with the whole sharks could eat you thing.  But Jordan was excited, so I guess I could suck it up.  For him.  I had learned that that wasn't such a bad thing to do.

He clacked his tongue ring against his teeth as he scrolled through a webpage trying to find the information he wanted me to read.  He held my hand in his, our fingers intertwined as if they would never be anywhere else.

I became suddenly aware of a group of four girls a few tables away.  I looked up and saw them watching us.  One girl leaned over to her friend and whispered something and then looked at Jordan and me again.  I recognized the looks on their faces.  I knew what they thought of me.  I had seen it enough times in the last year.  And while the gossip and rumors that swirled around campus about me had died off considerably, it was still there.