BAD REP(115)

He sat down on the porch swing and pulled me down on his lap, pressing his lips onto my collar bone as I fell into him.  He kicked out his legs and the swing started moving back and forth. We weren't alone outside.  There were people milling around the front yard but for the moment it felt like we were the only two people in the world.

“Garrett said you were writing music again.  Why did you stop writing music?”  I asked him, remembering my earlier conversation with the lead guitarist.  Jordan dropped a kiss on the skin of my chest and turned his head to the side, laying his cheek over my heart.

He was quiet for a long time, as though he were listening to the heavy beating.  His arms held me tightly and I began to wonder if he had fallen asleep or something.  But finally he answered me.

“I finally have a reason to write music again.  I've been inspired.” he said quietly.  I ran my hands over his head, the short hairs tickling my palm.  My fingers came down and I rubbed the skin on the back of his neck.  He moaned as my hands worked their magic.

“And what has inspired you, Jordan?” I asked, totally fishing.  Jordan rubbed his nose into the hollow of my throat, his forehead butting my chin.

“As if you need to ask.  Every song I write now is because of you.  Every song I will ever write for the rest of my life will be because of you,” he whispered, his eyes held an emotion that made my throat close up.

I shuddered.  His words had hit me straight in the heart.  I needed to get this man home and show him how much I loved him.  I tilted his chin up so that he was looking at me.  His eyes were a little bleary, but otherwise he was in full faculties.  “You're coming home with me, right now.  I think it's time for a repeat performance,” I demanded, placing a kiss on him mouth.

He grinned under my lips.  “I love it when you get bossy.” He grinned as I pulled him toward my car.


Chapter Twenty-Three




I'm not sure what woke me up.  The room was pitch black so it was either really, really late.  Or really, really early.  Jordan's arm was around my waist, holding me tightly against his chest.  I was sweaty from being pressed against him, our naked skin sticking together.

Jordan was making these adorable little noises while he slept and I couldn't stop myself from staring at him while he dreamed.  Looking at him like this, vulnerable and relaxed, made my heart flutter painfully.

We had officially been together for over a month now.  Our road had been decidedly smooth.   Though I couldn't help but wait for the other shoe to drop.  But also trying to not wait for the other shoe to drop.  But all in all, I was happy.

We were riding the blissful waves of the honeymoon period.  And things were close to perfect.  As long as we stayed far away from anything and everything Chi Delta and Pi Sig.

It was sad how segregated our lives had become.  I continued to attend to my mandatory responsibilities within the sisterhood but that was it.  My life, that had six months ago, revolved around my sorority, was now tied up in this man lying beside me.

Jordan's ties outside of our relationship were a bit more consuming.  He had bartending and his band aside from his responsibilities with his fraternity.  We were both busy, but no matter how insane our days were, Jordan slept in my bed every single night.

I knew I loved him.  I wanted to tell him.  But I held back.  I don't know why.  Maybe I was being ridiculous and wanted to hear him say it first.  Or maybe I was scared that if I let it out there, it would change things completely.  That maybe he wasn't ready for that level of commitment.

Sure, he was the sweetest guy I'd ever met.  He said and did things that made my inner pinky girlishness tingle.  I knew he cared about me.  But I couldn't stop myself from doubting that he could ever come to feel for me the way he had felt for Olivia.  That girl he wrote that amazing song for.

Yes, I was still fixated on that stupid song.  I don't know what was wrong with me and why I couldn't get over it.  Maybe it was because I was still forced to see his beautiful ex-girlfriend several times a week.  And seeing her flawless perfectness made it damn near impossible to stop myself from calculating comparisons.  Plus, she was dead set on feeding my insecurities like a wild fire out of control.

It was in the way she casually mentioned something pertaining to Jordan, or their three year history when she knew I was in ear shot.  Or it could have been the way his Pi Sig brothers acted as though she were the goddamn prodigal son whenever they saw her, showing how perfectly she fit into that area of his life.  It didn't help that pictures of her and Jordan graced the Chi Delta walls.  Collages of the girls during past formals and mixers.  Jordan and Olivia, the most beautiful couple on the planet front and center in all of them.