At the Crossroads (Buckhorn, Montana #3)(51)

She thought about what Jana had done to Culhane. She never wanted to put him or herself in that position. Last night when he’d used his key to let himself into her apartment and climbed into her bed, he apparently hadn’t noticed the changes to her body. Or at least he hadn’t said anything. But how long could she keep this from him? How long did she want to?

Stepping into the shower, she let the water run over her. Alexis knew exactly when she’d gotten pregnant. The one time they hadn’t used contraception. They’d gotten carried away, and at the time it had seemed so natural that neither of them had stopped to consider the chance they were taking.

She heard the bathroom door open and close, and a moment later, the shower curtain was drawn aside.

“Say the word, and I’ll go back to the ballgame on TV in the other room.”

She looked over her shoulder at him, saying nothing, yearning for his arms around her. He stripped and stepped in. Pressing his naked body into the back of hers, he held her as if needing this as much as she did.

They stood like that under the spray for a long time, the warm water showering over them as they were locked together against the coming storm.

“I love you,” he whispered next to her ear. He gently pushed aside a lock of her wet hair from her ear and repeated, “I love you.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, surprised by the burn of tears beneath her lids. She had longed to hear those words. “I love you, too.” The words came out in a hoarse whisper while her brain cried, Why now? Why say them now? Because he thought one or both of them was going to die?

He turned her to face him and kissed her. It felt like kissing in the rain. She pressed her body against his, feeling his desire, feeling her own, as the warm water cascaded over them.

The water suddenly turned cold. Culhane quickly turned it off and hurried to get them towels. The bathroom at the motel was so small that there really wasn’t room for both of them, so he stepped out into the bedroom to finish drying off.

She was glad of that as she let the door close. Her nausea was more intermittent through the day than just in the morning. She quickly locked the door and turned on the faucet at the sink as if brushing her teeth before heaving into the toilet and hoping he wouldn’t hear. After she’d emptied her stomach, she brushed her teeth before wrapping a towel around her, unlocking the door and stepping out.

Culhane was waiting for her, looking worried. He’d wrapped his towel around his waist, his broad muscled chest still glistening with water. “Alex.” She stepped past him to reach for her bag with a change of clothes in it.

He came up behind her, put his big hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her to face him. She couldn’t look this beautiful caring man in the eye, knowing what she was keeping from him. He lifted her chin with a finger until their gazes met. “Anything you want to tell me?” His gaze pierced her straight to her heart.

She brushed her wet hair back, straightening her shoulders. He had every right to know. She ached to tell him. But that was before she’d found out about Jana and how she’d trapped him into marriage.

Culhane would do the right thing. He’d proven that. But she wanted more for herself and her child. “Just an upset stomach, that’s all. I think it was that fast food we got on the way here.” She held his gaze, hating herself for lying to him.

CULHANE’S PHONE RANG. He glanced at Alexis, then at his phone. He didn’t want to leave things where they were. It rang again.

“It’s probably April,” she said and turned away to dig in her overnight bag.

He sighed, not wanting to end the conversation with her, but anxious in case it was April calling back. It was. He quickly picked up. “Hello.”

“I have the information on Jana Redfield Travis. She was here just short of seven years ago. She stayed in the maternity wing. Until the baby was born and adopted.”

“Baby? No, she wasn’t—” He caught his breath. “She was pregnant? You’re sure?”

“She had a son.”

The words ricocheted off him like rubber bullets, leaving only the pain. “She had a son?” His thoughts swirled around in his head. He could have a six-year-old son. A son he never knew about.

Jana had lied to him on so many levels, and yet he’d never hated her. Until now. If she really had his son and gave him up for adoption... A son he hadn’t gotten to see grow up? A son who didn’t know he was alive? He swallowed the lump in this throat.

He told himself there had to be a mistake. Not even Jana was that cruel. Nor did it make any sense. Why lie about losing the baby? Why take off to go to the ranch rather than stay with him? She had to have known he would have welcomed the baby. A son. Jana could have used the baby as leverage to get anything she wanted. His father would have probably even come around—after a simple paternity test proved the boy was Culhane’s.

So why had she left? Why had she lied? He tried to imagine Jana as a mother. It was a frightening thought, since she’d been raised by Jack who hadn’t shown any sign of being a role model.

“The baby was born full-term and healthy on March 9. The adoption records are sealed and not kept here on the ranch so I can’t help you with that.”

“Thank you,” he said as he did the math in his head. “Please be careful.” He hung up and felt his heart drop. The baby couldn’t have been his. That’s why Jana hadn’t stayed. She’d known he would count the months and know the truth.