Angel in Scarlet (Bound and Determined #4)(62)

Bliss laughed. “Yes, after all those times we snuck to the barnyards, I do hope you know how. Although it is rather different than watching chickens, or even pigs—and we will not even think about horses.”

Angela was about to reply that she certainly knew it was different—and then thought better of it. There was only so much she needed her friend to know. And besides, she didn’t actually know that it was different, just that everything leading up to it was. And she surely didn’t want to discuss that now, not when even thinking of Colton had tears threatening. “Yes, let us not consider horses. I’ve never had the desire to have anyone bite the back of my neck.” Although even as she said the words an image filled her mind, an image that was not at all distasteful.

A ruddy color slowly ran up Bliss’s cheeks. Had she just had a similar thought?

Bliss shook her head lightly. “And you are right, we did mean to wait, but sometimes things happen, no matter how careful you think you are being.”

Did Bliss and Duldon…Did they use some of the tricks that Ruby had talked of? It had been Bliss who first mentioned Madame Rouge, who had first given Angela the idea of talking to her. “I don’t know whether to say sorry or offer another congratulations.”

“Congratulations, definitely. We are not the slightest bit sorry, although there are moments in the morning—and sometimes the rest of the day—that are far from easy.” She rested a hand on her stomach again. “This little one is not giving me an easy time of it.”

“But you still have not explained why you are here.”

“I always meant to come. Lady Perse knew of our friendship and thought you could use a friend. I asked her not to say anything; I did not want you disappointed if I couldn’t manage the trip.”

“I could never be disappointed in you.” And she meant that with all her heart.

“That is nice to hear, but I was surprised to learn that Lord Colton is here. I know Lady Perse had no intention of inviting him after the way he treated you.”

“I would admit that I was at first taken aback when I learned he would be here for at least some of the weekend. He is apparently a neighbor, and I can understand that Lady Perse could not refuse him.”

Bliss frowned. “Even so, I cannot believe that he had the nerve to come, knowing you would be here.”

Angela could only hope her own cheeks were not flushed with color. “We are getting along much better now. I have come to understand more of his reasoning. I do not think he meant to hurt me.” Or at least she hadn’t until yesterday afternoon. Now she was back to a jumbled state of confusion.

“You are getting along? I can’t imagine how. I would never forgive a man who trifled with my feelings.”

“I am not sure he meant to trifle.”

Bliss leaned back. “Well, I am not sure that I believe that.”

“It is hard to explain.” Yes, if she could not fully explain it to herself, then how could she explain it to another?

“And yet you have decided to forgive him?”

“I would not precisely say that.”

“Then are you planning something? You always were a great one for plots and plans.”

“No.” And the word felt true as she said it. Had she given up on her plan for vengeance? Yesterday she would have said yes; now she was not as sure—but—but, in truth, she no longer had the heart for it. She might not understand Colton, but she no longer felt a need for justice. She was tired and merely wished to be done with the thing.

“I am not quite convinced.”

Ah, Bliss knew her too well. “I would confess that I may have had such thoughts originally, but I think they were a reaction to my hurt. I felt the spurned lover and I wanted to make him pay, to find justice.”

“That sounds reasonable to me.”

“Reasonable perhaps, but not practical. I think being around him again only made me care more deeply.”

“And him? Does he still spurn you?”

“No, I don’t think so—but, then, he can turn so cold in the blink of an eye. How does one understand what goes on in a man’s head?”

“Now, that I don’t know. I’ve not even figured out Duldon, and sometimes it seems as if he’s actually a part of me—but a part I do not always understand.”

“That does not leave me much hope.”

“What exactly do you wish to hope for? Do you still dream he will marry you?”

A bitter laugh. “I wish I knew. I suppose it is unreasonable to want to comprehend his thoughts when I am so troubled by my own.”

“So you would not marry him?”

“That was my original plan, you know. I was going to make him mad for me and then toss him aside when it came to the point.”

Bliss leaned toward her. “And now?”

“Now I think I would like to wed him, although only if he wanted to, and that seems impossible.” It was the first she had admitted that even to herself. “In truth, I do not understand my own emotions. I am often happy when I am with him. I feel safe and at ease, even when circumstances should have me crying off.”

“I gather I should not inquire too closely after those circumstances?” Bliss asked.

Her friend had always been too perceptive. “No, I think it is best for all if you do not. And it doesn’t truly matter, because every time I think there may be a future, he turns so cold and bitter.” Angela let her head fall forward to rest upon her hands. “Am I a fool, Bliss?”