Angel in Scarlet (Bound and Determined #4)(33)

It did not help.

Well, it did not really matter. The cloak would hide her from all prying eyes, and if her maid was still waiting up for her to return, which was unlikely, she knew better than to comment. And in truth it was not so different a look than she might have after dancing the night away. A few good twirls were remarkable for putting a flush upon the cheeks.

Her hair had seen better times, but even that could be explained by a vigorous dance and a loose pin or two. And she would just pretend that her lips looked as always.

Gathering her cloak, she slipped it about her shoulders and pulled the deep hood out over her face.

With the slightest of shrugs, she opened the door and stepped into the hall. Just around the corner, Simms stood waiting. “Excuse me, my lady.”

“Did Madame Rouge ask you to find me an escort to my carriage?”

“I will do so, my lady. But first Madame Rouge wishes to know if she may speak to you for a few moments.”

“That would be acceptable.”

“Then let me settle you in another room and she will join you shortly.”

He led her to another door and gestured her through.

This room was smaller and sparsely furnished with a narrow bed, a single chair, and a washstand with a bowl and pitcher. She supposed that frequent washing was necessary at such a place.

She took a seat on the chair and watched the door.

A minute later there was the lightest tap on the door and then Ruby entered without waiting for an answer. “You are well?” she asked.

Angela rose, feeling her cheeks heat. “Yes.”

“Stay seated, child.” Ruby moved to take her own seat on the bed. “I was somewhat concerned when I realized what Colton had planned for the evening. I must be honest, that it is something only slightly unusual for him, but I had certainly not expected that he would introduce you to Granderson.”

“I admit that I found the situation most—most surprising.” It was hard to find a word that adequately described how she had felt when Granderson entered the room.

“I can believe that. And did it make you uncomfortable?”

“Yes.”

“I noted that Granderson left soon afterward and entertained himself with one of my other girls, so I imagine that Colton noted your dislike and took it into consideration.”

“Yes, although he did not seem pleased with the situation either. I do not think it was only my unhappiness that swayed him.”

Ruby smiled at that but did not answer directly.

Angela continued. “I will admit that I was quite relieved when Granderson left. It felt wrong.”

“And yet you and Colton remained in the room for quite some time.”

She must look like a beet. “Yes.”

“And you were not displeased with what happened.”

“No. I found everything quite nice.”

“I hope it was more than nice. If it was only nice, I shall have to talk to Colton.”

Angela looked down at her feet. “Yes, it was more than nice. It was, in fact, quite beyond words. I had no idea that it would be like that. Why does nobody tell us that it is…that it is so…so intense? Why are women taught to dread something so…so—”

“I do not know. Are you telling me that you had relations with Lord Colton? Did he talk to you about ways to prevent pregnancy?”

Oh dear. And she had not thought she could become any more embarrassed. “No, we did not. I mean, we only watched each other—but that was enough. He told me how to touch myself and…Do I have to say any more?”

“No, my dear, you have said quite enough. I will ask, just to be sure, that you enjoyed taking his direction. I do believe I mentioned that Colton has a need to be in control, and if you do not find that pleasing, then it is best you desist now. It will only grow and grow if you continue this relationship.”

“If anything”—she swung her feet back and forth—“I found it most helpful. It freed me from worry to have him telling me what to do, and it took the responsibility away from me. With Colton directing my movements, I did not worry that I was doing anything wrong. I knew that he would never tell me to do anything wrong. Oh, don’t look like that. I know that many would think this whole situation was wrong, but I do not feel that way and I don’t think that you do either.”

Ruby smiled again. “I must confess I would never have helped you if I didn’t think this was what you needed. And, no, I do not think it is wrong. Foolish perhaps, but not wrong. As long as two adults are willing and have reached agreement, I never think sex is wrong.”

That might be a little bit further than Angela was willing to go. She still felt that plenty of things might be wrong—although perhaps less than she had before. She wasn’t even sure the encounter with Granderson was truly wrong as opposed to simply being not right for her.

But she wanted to continue this game, wanted to continue finding out her desires and giving in to Colton’s. She wasn’t sure she should want to, but she did.

“You don’t look happy. An unpleasant thought?” Ruby asked, leaning slightly forward.

“Not really; more of a confused one. I realize that for a while tonight I lost track of why I am doing this. It seemed so simple in the beginning, and now…” Her voice trailed off.

“If you remember, even in the beginning you were not quite clear on what you wanted the outcome to be.”