Angel in Scarlet (Bound and Determined #4)(16)

He turned from her and gazed out over the water. “I think that is somewhat of an exaggeration. And why should I indulge you?”

Have faith in yourself. She leaned a little forward. “No exaggeration. When I looked at you, I felt as if you really saw me, saw all the pieces, good and bad, and just accepted them. And you should indulge me”—she lowered her voice—“because you want to, because you want me; you want to know where this is going.”

He swung back to her, letting his gaze settle upon her as if weighing her every word. “Sure of yourself, are you?”

No, not at all, but she was trying. “It is more I am sure of what men want.”

“If you are sure of that, why do you need me?”

Curses sounded in her mind. She had gotten ahead of herself, and she still had not talked about everything Ruby had told her she must. “I need you because there is a difference between reading a book and experiencing something. I want experience, and I have known from the start that you are the man to teach me. You have always pushed me as no other man ever has, made me want things that no other man ever has. You were my first kiss, my only kiss, because I had never longed for the feel of another man’s lips.” She dropped her gaze again. “In many ways I would like to turn to another man, but you are the one my body wants.”

“And that is all that you want.” His voice was hoarse.

Had she unsettled him? Were her words getting to him?

Honesty. He wanted honesty and she would give it. “It is hard for me to know what I want. I am scared of what I want. I am not sure that I want to lose my virginity.” She looked away, staring at the trees that bordered the gravel path he had been riding upon. “I am not saying that I don’t. But I know there are other things we can do. I would like to try those and then see.”

“You are aware that these ‘other things’ can ruin you as surely as actual f*cking if they become known?”

Did he need to be so crude? Was he trying to give her vapors? “Yes, but I do not see why they should become known. I do not imagine you will tell.”

“And what if I say no? Will you then change your mind and find some other man to indulge you in this matter?”

Honesty. “I don’t know. I have not thought about any man but you.” Another truth—as far as it went. And yet she could sense him slipping away. “But I might. After the other night I do know that I want more. I want to feel that again, to feel that longing, that need.” Now, that was the truth, if a hard one to face.

His face suddenly grew dark, his brows coming together, his tone harsh. “You should wait for a husband.”

“I do not want to wait, and from what I understand there is no promise that a husband will make me feel the same way you did.”

He turned to gaze out at the water for a moment, then looked down at her again. It was hard to detect any hint of emotion on his face, his features held flat and regular. “Very well. It is clear you will give me no peace until I give in.”

“I don’t want you to do it because you have to.” She let her breasts swell once again, leaned back, and made a little moue with her mouth. “I want you to do it because you want to.”

“We will not even define what ‘do it’ means.”

Was that the hint of a smile? She rather thought it was.

“I guess we will just have to leave it to my imagination, then,” she said, trying not to show her glee at his acceptance.

“Why am I not sure that is a good idea? Now, give me another smile to show your delight.” The horse stomped behind him, pulling at the reins.

She peered up at him from under her lashes and gave him the smile he desired, parted her lips, filled her chest with air. “As you wish, my lord.”

She almost laughed when his eyes once again dropped to her bosom. Perhaps this would not be so hard. “It is good to see you again, Colton. I have missed our morning walks. I always enjoyed being with you before the city was fully awake.” His eyes grew serious and she hurried on, not wanting to make him reconsider. “I daresay Maggie feels differently.” She glanced back at the maid.

His lips curled in the faintest grin. She had missed that look. She tried to shake off the feeling. She didn’t care if he was happy; she was not trying to make him smile—or at least only as much as the game required.

His face grew solemn again, as if he read her thought. “I will meet you tomorrow evening at Madame Rouge’s. I trust I do not need to advise you to hide your identity.”

She gave him a nod. “I will manage. Do you care to suggest a time? I must admit I have little desire to stand about by myself waiting for you.”

“I am having dinner with my mother. Shall we say eleven?”

“I will see you then.”

Without another word, he turned and walked away.

She’d done it. She’d actually done it. She’d gotten Colton to take the lead.

Perhaps Ruby was right and she could do anything if she just believed—believed in herself.

Angela pushed to her feet and strode over to Maggie, her mind already plotting excuses to explain her absence the next evening.

—

Colton spurred his horse along the path. That had not gone well. He knew he had come off as something of an ass. He’d not been able to contain himself when Angela indicated she might be willing to experiment with another man. He’d felt a flush of anger such as he had rarely known and was not sure he had hidden it well. But perhaps that was for the best. It was clear that Angela had not the slightest idea what she was getting herself into and he must somehow persuade her to abandon the dangerous game that she played. It was far more dangerous than she realized. Not all men were as well intentioned as he.