An Unforgettable Lady(108)

She turned from him as tears welled in her eyes. She refused to let them fall, blinking furiously.

"Grace," he said roughly. "I have to go."

She wheeled back toward him. "No, you don't."

"I can't trust myself with you any longer. I'm not the righ man for this job."

"Don't you think I should decide that? I'm the one who's paying you."

"You aren't qualified to judge my skills."

She shot him a glare. "Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

"You're no more objective than I am at this point."

Impatiently, she pushed her hair over her shoulder. "And when did you decide all this?"

"Tonight.”

"You—you make love to me and then you tell me you're leaving?" she exclaimed. "What? Worried you wouldn't have a chance to get laid before your next assignment?"

He frowned, his brows drawing tight over his eyes. "You know it's never been like that between us."

"Oh, really? Then maybe you'd like to tell me what happens after you leave? Will I ever see you again?"

His silence was the answer.



"Oh, God," she said.

"I don't want it to be this way."

"So make it different," she snapped.

When he stared at her in stony silence, she shook her head. "I can't believe you're prepared to just walk away."

His response was quiet. "I'm sorry, Grace. I really am."

She thrust her chin up and brushed by him, going over to her desk and taking out a checkbook.

"I think you should just leave now." She began hastily scribbling with a gold pen. She ripped the check free and held it out to him. "Go on. Take it. Let's just end this now."

"Not until Tiny's here."

"You said you wanted to leave, so pack your things and get the hell out. I have no interest in being passed off to one of your boys."

Tension crackled in the air as the check hung between them. He slowly came forward and took it out of her hand only to put it down on the desk.

"I'm not going anywhere until Tiny shows up."

"I don't think you understand," she said, pointing at the front door. "You and Black Watch are fired. Get out."

His voice was flat when he spoke, belying in its softness his awesome will. "I'm not leaving until I know you're safe."

Rage, borne out of hurt and frustration, had her blinking tears away. "This is incredibly cruel of you. To say that you're going and then force me to—"

"You have no idea what it was like when you disappeared."

She threw her arms up.

"I'm sorry. I said I was sorry." She bunched her hands into fists. "And I came back."

He cut her off. "I have seen death up close before, Grace. Imagining yours was the closest I've come to crying in thirty years."

She shut her mouth, stunned.

"I don't know what I would do" he said with stark emphasis, "if anything ever happened to you. The depth of my fear tells me I have to leave you in someone else's protection. And that I can't see you again."

Impulsively, she reached for his hands. "No, you're wrong. If you care that much for me, you shouldn't go."

"Grace, don't delude yourself. Those three women who were killed weren't careful enough. You need to be ruthless about your safety, as ruthless as that man who's cutting up your friends. You don't want me to be watching you and you don't want me hanging around in your life. Trust me on this."

"So let Tiny or whoever come. That doesn't mean you have to leave. We can figure out the future, together."

He shook his head. "A clean break is the only way."

She dropped his hands and turned away, sensing there'd be no negotiating with him. He was leaving and there was nothing she could do about it. In a rush, a numb feeling washed over her, taking away some of the pain.

"I don't want Tiny," she said.“I don't want him."

Because he will only remind me of you, she thought.

"Grace, don't let your anger at me impair your judgment about letting someone take care of you. You know it's not safe for you to be alone right now."

She thought about her three friends.

As much as she was mad at John, she wasn't going to be stupid about her own life. No man, even him, was worth getting killed over.