An Affair So Right (Rebel Hearts #4)(45)

He sighed, eyes flashing open and pinning her with an angry stare. “When I was a little lad, not more than eight years old, I fell off my horse far from home. I broke my arm. My father was with me, and no one else. I remember turning to him in agony…and him turning away. He told me to be a man and bear the discomfort in silence. He used his riding crop across my backside to get me to remount my horse immediately. I remember thinking he must hate me.”

“Oh, Quinn. That is horrible. How could he?”

“He didn’t hate me. As I aged, I realized I was a commodity he meant to use for his own gain, as he tried to use my younger brothers and cousins at times, too. None of us got off lightly. Mary, I fear, suffered the most at his hands.”

“Your sister?” Theodora still did not understand why the young woman was not spoken of more openly, but she had the worst feeling about what they did not say. Questions burned her tongue. “What happened to Mary?”

He paled, glancing away. “I do not know, but I fear some situation he placed Mary in meant death was her only escape.”

“She…” Theodora could barely speak the words. “She killed herself?”

At his curt nod, her stomach roiled. No wonder Quinn had been so insistent that she accept her father’s death was an accident. No wonder the staff refused to speak of her passing to anyone. They were afraid to speak of it, none more so than Quinn appeared to be now.

He moved restlessly, fingers worrying at his coat edge. “What happened to Mary could have been avoided if I’d not been so wrapped up in myself and my efforts to thwart our father at every turn.”

“Surely you cannot blame yourself?” He said nothing to that, but she saw the proof of his feelings writ large on his face. He did blame himself. “Quinn, you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness.”

“I grew to hate him, especially so since her passing for the way he brushed aside her death without a proper investigation. I’ve done as much as I can to protect my remaining siblings, all the while secretly wishing all manner of indignities upon him. I suppose knowing he was so desperate to prove himself my better by seducing my former mistress is as much revenge as I could ever have.”

“He suffered,” she promised him, certain that Lord Templeton had been aware of what was going on around him, even if no one else believed her, until the very end of his life. “For a man who liked to be in control, his helplessness would have been agony.”

Quinn’s smile was tight. “There is little comfort in that, since any knowledge of Mary’s last days died with him.”

Theodora grew very still, watching Quinn. The jolly viscount was gone, replaced by a man who would become bitter if not turned aside from that path.

She looked out the window, thinking hard. Some men were cruel, and it was a bleak relationship she could hardly comprehend between father and son. Quinn Ford had so many admirable qualities—devotion to family, compassion for those in need. His father should have been so proud of him, instead of always finding Quinn wanting.

She could not allow this man to become trapped by hate. She would not allow Quinn to push her away in his time of need. “Work has taken my mind off my father’s death, and so it will for you, too.” She smiled brightly. “Whatever comes, you can confide in me if you need to. I would never tell anyone.”

“Adele said that too.” He set his head back against the squabs. “And all the while, she was playing me false. She had her own agenda, to advance her career through our connection, and when that wasn’t enough she likely applied to my father for his support, too.”

“My only concern is being of help to you. You have done so much for my mother and I. It would be impossible to repay you unless you take me with you. I want to be of use more than anything. I think I have been so far.”

He studied her, and then his eyes skimmed her dark mourning gown, coming to rest on her breasts. Her pulse kicked up speed, and she brought her hand to her chest. Mourning gowns could never be considered pretty, but when alone, Quinn had a way of watching her that made her think he looked beyond them to what lie beneath.

His lips quirked a little on one side. “You have. More than you know.”

She smiled shyly. “I’m glad.”

He leaned forward suddenly, placing his hand firmly on her knee. His touch was insistent as he pushed her gown between her thighs in his quest to reach her quim. Her breath caught as he succeeded, and skimmed her sex with firm pressure until she was panting with want and aching to lift her skirts for him.

“I always want you like this,” he whispered.

She breathed deeply, holding on to her rules by a mere thread. Quinn was so hard to rebuff. He made her almost angry with herself that she had so little control around him. Theodora would almost break her own rules just to make love to him during the day, to ease the yearning that never seemed to go away.

“I feel the same, but…” Reluctantly, Theodora covered his wandering hand with hers and removed it from between her legs. “Forgive me.”

He scowled fiercely at being denied. “You’d better come with me to Newberry House tonight,” he said.

Theodora smiled broadly, considering it a victory to have achieved her goal to stay with him. “I can be ready.”

He caught her smile and frowned again. “Better bring your mother and Soot, too. They’ll be your chaperones during the day to allay wagging tongues.”