An Affair So Right (Rebel Hearts #4)(44)
“I can join you in the morning.”
“I don’t think you should come.”
She leaned forward, her heart taking a leap almost out of her chest at the idea she’d outlived her usefulness to him. She was finally beginning to find her way as his secretary. To understand his moods and whims too. “Why not?”
A deep frown marred his brow, and he paused a long moment before answering. “In my home, my staff know the history of why you are there. They understand how much you’ve lost, and see how hard you have worked to keep your mind off that loss. At Newberry House, others might see you as less than you are. I will not tolerate anyone treating you or your mother unfavorably.”
She truly admired Quinn Ford for his protective habits. She also loved being in his arms, where decisions about the future were kept at bay.
They both knew she need not be his secretary although they’d never discussed it once. Her mother had funds to make their every wish come true, if she ever asked for the gems to be returned to her. They could stay behind or leave to settle in their own home at any time they wished. But she felt, deep down in her bones, that remaining at Quinn’s side was what she was meant to do right now.
“I am your secretary, and that is all anyone needs to know about me,” she said briskly.
His gaze pierced her with a questioning glance. “That’s not strictly true. You do have other options.”
She smiled quickly. “Mother told me about the gems.”
His breath rushed out. “And?”
“She refuses to discuss any future use of them yet. She does not wish to leave England, so I am stuck as I am. Money or not, I would prefer to spend my days being employed in a useful manner.”
He nodded slowly. “And what of the other business between us? Someone might suspect our intimate connection if you are spotted leaving my new chambers in the mornings,” he said, frowning.
A chill swept her. Quinn thought of bedding her as a matter of business? She fought not to show any distress at such an impersonal label for the hours they’d spent comforting each other. “What is there to suspect? I will work as diligently as ever.”
“I don’t want…” He smiled tightly. “I would not like my family to become difficult about you. You don’t yet know their ways.”
“For heaven’s sake, I’m not going to tell anyone we’ve slept together.”
“Who slept?” he quipped, but his brief moment of levity faded fast as he frowned again.
She studied his face, wondering what else he wasn’t telling her. Did he regret the nights they’d spent in his bed? Did he want her to stop visiting his room, now that he was an earl? She couldn’t quite bring herself to ask that question, so she chuckled softly in response to his quip.
He sighed heavily. “My father was difficult in life. In death, I expect his affairs to be no different,” he confessed. “I have to assess his estate, judge what debts he holds over others, and decide what to pursue or forgive. I must curry favor with offended acquaintances. Take up unfinished tasks, however unpleasant they might be.”
“I am your secretary, Quinn. I am not afraid of long hours or unsettling discoveries,” she promised him. “Let me do what you have employed me to do. Let me help you. That is all I want.”
He let out a tortured sigh.
“What truly bothers you?”
“I’m afraid of what we’ll find.” His expression grew pained. “He’s tainted my life.”
“I would never hold you responsible for your father’s actions. I know now that you’re nothing like him.”
“But many will believe I am.” He glanced her way, jaw clenching briefly. “Did you see Mr. Cushing approach me after the funeral? He insists on coming to see me. I have a sense that whatever it is he has to say will be unpleasant, and affects me particularly. My fear is that my father will have committed me to some mad scheme meant to extend his power, and now my own.”
“Many fathers scheme to better their children’s expectations. Usually, they mean the best for their sons and daughters.” Theodora gasped when Quinn winced, realizing at once what he was really concerned about. “Has your father committed you to a marriage?”
“I don’t believe so.”
The air rushed from Theodora’s lungs suddenly. Her relief was immediate and acute. She did not have to give up Quinn for that future yet. But it was understandable for him to worry about the possibility. Theodora understood his mood better now, even as her own heart pinched with fear that his father might just have been the sort to bind him into an unbreakable marriage contract and not warn him. “Your father did not confide in you?”
“Never. Father snapped out orders and expected me to come to heel,” Quinn replied, swishing his hand as if he held something.
A chill swept over her skin. “How did he do that?”
“Not now, love,” he whispered, closing his eyes and blocking Theodora out of his thoughts.
Theodora wanted to understand this man. To know why Lord Templeton provoked such hatred from his eldest son. Templeton had not been spoken of fondly by anyone within Theodora’s hearing, and his seduction of Quinn’s mistress showed a distinct lack of morals. “Why not talk about it now? It is just us alone. I would like to better understand how you feel about him.”