Always You(55)

We sat down, waiting for him to take his place behind his desk. He nodded at me, raising his eyebrows at Wrenn. It had been years—about ten to be exact—since I had seen Dr. Martin. He hadn’t changed much. His hair was grayer, and he looked older, but that was it.

“Dalton. It’s been, what, ten years? You’ve certainly grown into a fine young man. I presume this pretty thing is your girlfriend?”

I nodded and chuckled as Wrenn’s eyebrow shot up at being referred to as a ‘pretty young thing.’

“This is my girlfriend, Wrenn.” Girlfriend. Wow, that sounds good.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, Wrenn. I only wish it were under better circumstances.”

My whole body tensed as he turned back to me. I studied his face. His eyes wouldn’t quite meet mine and he kept wetting his lips, as though the air was sucking the moisture out of them.

This was bad. Oh God, I’m not ready to hear this.

“I’m sorry, Dalton. There is no easy way to tell you this, so I’m not going to beat around the bush. You tested positive. Forty-two repeats. You have Huntington’s Disease.”

That single moment I will remember forever.

My beating heart, the sound of my breathing, the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall. I was aware of Wrenn’s stare, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

Positive.

Positive.

No matter how much you prepare yourself for hearing those words, there is always the tiniest part of you clinging to the hope that it won’t be positive. All the times I had considered the disease, I’d never really believed that I would have it too.

I had Huntington’s.

The disease that killed my father was going to kill me too. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; dad had died from pneumonia, a complication of the disease, but this was my future. I felt frozen, unable to react. God knows what was going though Wrenn’s mind. Maybe it would be best if she moved on without me. I had no idea what was next. What kind of life could I offer her?

“So, what now?” I asked, clearing my throat.

“Now, we monitor you. At the moment, every few years, we will follow up. Once symptoms develop, we will track the progression. This doesn’t have to be a death sentence, Dalton. You probably have a good fifteen to twenty years before you develop symptoms. The CAG repeats are on the lower side of positive, and this is a good thing.”

I wanted to laugh. Not a death sentence?

Says the guy who was not suffering from an incurable terminal disease that would slowly rob him of his independence, and eventually his life. I stood up, suddenly feeling claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on me.

I need to get out of here. I felt sick. I headed for the door, knocking over my chair, with getting out of there the only thing on my mind. I made it outside, with no recollection of going through the waiting room area to get there.

Breathing in the freezing air, I gripped my hands behind my head, terrified and unsure of what to do next. Crouching down against the brick wall of the office, I slid down until I was sitting on the ground, my head in my hands.

“Dalton.”

I felt her arms around me. I didn’t look up. I couldn’t. I couldn’t stand to see her face. I didn’t want to know what she was thinking. I didn’t want to imagine living without her, or dying and leaving her.

“I can’t do this, Wrenn. I can’t just wait to die,” I said, my voice breaking.

“Then don’t. Live because you can. Live because you have twenty—maybe more—years before you show symptoms, then maybe another twenty. Live because you love me, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you yet.” She was crying, her dark hair enveloping my face, her soft hands warm against my neck.

God, I can’t stand the thought of losing you either.





Chapter Thirty-Three


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Wrenn

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“I just want you to be sure.”

I shook my head and laughed. How many times did I have to tell him that he was what I wanted? Many, it seemed.

“It’s been a month, Dalton. Trust me, I’ve had time to settle. I’ve had more than enough time to think about things, and I have no doubt in the world that I want to be with you.”

“Well, that’s the best news I’ve heard all month.” He smiled and cupped my chin, smothering me with sweet kisses. I closed my eyes and relished in the attention, loving every minute of it.

For the last few weeks we’d been staying with his mom. Dan and Layna had been down a few times, especially in the early days of his diagnosis. Those first few days were hell: everyone was acting like he’d died, mourning for the loss that might still be thirty years away. Things had settled down now, and were almost back to a normal routine.

The next week, we were moving to Boston. We had finalized the lease agreement on a little two-bedroom apartment not far from the university. I couldn’t wait. Dalton was looking forward to his course, and because mine wouldn’t start until next year I was going to look for a job. It was exciting planning a future with the man I loved.

I tried not to think about the diagnosis, because I was determined not to spend my time grieving. I’d done enough of that already.