All I Believe (Firsts and Forever, #10)(61)

He raised an eyebrow as he took another drag from his cigarette. “Because you found out he’s James Bond and you don’t want to blow his cover?”

“No.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said, “but it seems like you need someone to talk to. I’ve been watching you mope around all night. You’re literally the one person who’s less comfortable at this party than I am, so I couldn’t help but notice. The good news is, I’ve been drinking a lot, so I probably won’t remember whatever you tell me anyway.”

I grinned a little and said, “Okay, let me try to come up with an analogy.” My drunken brain was more than a little foggy, which probably explained why all I managed was: “Let’s say I’m Bruce Wayne’s son and I started dating the Joker’s son, only Joker, Junior never bothers to tell me who he is. I have to find out from someone else, after getting really attached to him. And he keeps that information from me even though he knows, absolutely knows for a fact, that I have serious trust issues and the one thing I need more than anything is honesty, above all else. So…yeah. That’s basically what happened.”

“Ah.”

“Did that actually make sense to you?”

“In a way.”

“Okay, good.”

Zachary thought about it for a few moments, then said, “But the real problem here is that you fell really hard for the Joker’s son, right? If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be so upset.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“So that omission of information, that’s a total deal-breaker?”

“I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. That’s everything to me.”

“Even though you’re totally miserable without him.”

I said, “I miss him, all the time. There was so much that was great about him, and I even started to imagine building a future with him, which is huge given how much my last relationship hurt me. But even if I could find my way around that betrayal, there’s a bigger issue. His family and mine despise each other. They don’t want me anywhere near him, and mine would hardly welcome him with open arms.”

“So, really it’s more the Capulets and Montagues than the Joker and Batman.”

“That might possibly have been a better analogy.”

“It’s pretty obvious why he didn’t tell you, all things considered.”

“But I needed to know.”

“If you’d known who he was from day one, would it have made a difference?” Zachary asked, dropping the butt of his cigarette into the empty beer bottle. “Would it have stopped you from falling for him?”

“No. Nothing would have kept me from falling for Luca, so he should have just told me the truth. He didn’t though, so it’s all gone to hell now.”


“Has it? I think, as long as you’re both still living and breathing, there’s always a chance to work it out.”

“I really don’t see how.”

“I hope you figure it out.” He held up his empty beer bottle and said, “I don’t know about you, but I have no interest in sobering up tonight. Let’s go back inside and drink all of my newlywed best friend’s liquor.”

I turned back to the warehouse and said, “That most definitely sounds like a plan.”



*****



Since my designated driver ended up getting totally smashed, and Nana and I did too, the three of us spent the night at our friends’ warehouse. So did a few more of the couple’s friends and relatives. I slept on the floor and woke up feeling stiff and headachy. When I stumbled into the big, open kitchen, Chance greeted me with a cup of coffee and a bottle of ibuprofen. I accepted them with a thank you, then said, “Holy crap, you got married last night!”

He flashed a radiant smile, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “It’s wild, isn’t it? Finn and I are going to the Justice of the Peace today to make it legal, but I’m so glad we got to share that with everyone.”

Nana had performed the ceremony the night before, since she’d gotten some sort of online certificate that apparently ordained her. “Good idea,” I said.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I heard you stayed in Italy a couple extra weeks, but from the look of it, I don’t think you had a very relaxing vacation.”

“I met a guy. He was amazing. Then it all went to hell. Now,” I pushed my glasses to the top of my head and scrubbed my hands over my face, “I’m just trying to figure out how to return to whatever life was like before I heard of Luca Caruso.”

“Well, damn.”

I dropped my glasses back into place. They were all smudgy, but I didn’t really care. “Classes start on Monday, maybe that’ll help. Or maybe it’ll kill me. It could go either way, really.”

“If you ever need to talk,” he said, sweeping his dark brown hair out of his face, “you know I’m here, right?”

“Thanks Chance, I appreciate that. I talked to Zachary a bit last night, he was a great listener.”

“That’s good.”

“I saw him carrying a big duffle bag last night, is he moving in?”

My friend nodded. “His life’s in a bit of a tailspin right now. He doesn’t really tell me what’s going on, but he did finally take me up on my offer to stay here while he gets things sorted out. I think that’s a positive step.”