Alcohol You Later (44)

When I don’t answer, he tilts my face up toward his, lowering his lips to mine. “I love you.” The warmth of his words travels along my spine, heating my blood. “Say something, please.”

“I love you, too.”

He wraps me in his arms, hugging me close, while I remain motionless. It’s as if he’s afraid I might disappear. “Tell me we can make this work?”

“Our friendship?”

“Nah,” he says. “We’re way past that. I want all of you. I want us to be together. A real relationship.”

He’s saying everything I’ve wanted to hear for as long as I can remember, but I just don’t know if I can trust it. It’s hard to believe he’s just made a complete one-eighty and won’t revert to his old ways.

I give my words careful consideration before responding. “You’ve had all of me for quite some time now, Nicholas. While I’ve settled for crumbs.”

“I’m a changed man,” he promises. “I can do better.”

“Prove it.”





“It looks like a fucking tornado blew through here.”

I crane my neck to see out the bathroom door, where I’m presently scrubbing shit off Alex’s bottom, to find Anika kicking her way through the sea of toys.

I’ve never been more relieved to hear her bitching.

“Oh, thank God you’re here.” I dip my head toward the toddler splashing around in the murky water, hoping she possesses at least a few motherly instincts that might kick in and prompt her to take over, rescuing me from this hell.

Why anyone chooses to have children on purpose is beyond me.

“Nuh-uhn. Don’t you be thanking the big guy on my account.” She steps into the room, gagging on the smell. “Told you I don’t do this stuff.”

“Will you at least look after Ava while I finish up in here?” I steeple my hands giving her my most pathetic puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

Her head rotates toward the little girl who is sitting on the lid of the toilet, having a field day unrolling the toilet paper. She gives her a quick onceover, scrunching her nose like she’s repulsed. “Anyone ever teach you how to use a hairbrush? Damn, Nicholas. She looks like something the cat dragged in.”

“Sorry. I’m a little occupied at the moment.”

With a loud, drawn-out sigh, she takes Ava by the hand. “Come here, you poor thing. Auntie Annie’s gonna get you looking right.”

“Thank yo—“ I start.

“One, two, freeee…” Alex shouts, waiting to perform his trick until I’m looking. One thing I’ve learned about this kid already is he does not like the attention on anyone but himself. “Go!” He shouts, plopping right down into the soiled water. It sprays into the air, all over him and me.

“Yay!” Ava jumps up and down, clapping for her brother in the doorway. She and Anika missed a poop shower by mere seconds.

That’s too bad. I might’ve liked to see Annie’s reaction. Hah.

“Oh, boy,” Anika, says, biting back a laugh. “You’re like exceptionally bad at this whole dad thing.”

“No shit.” I rip my shirt off, adding it to the pile of dirty laundry, grab my body wash, squirt a dollop into my palm and furiously scrub at my face and hair, turning the sprayer on myself.

“Should I call Raven over?”

“No!” I answer a little too forcefully, sucking soap up my nose in the process. Fuck. That burns. “We’re fine. We’ve got this. Don’t we, Alex?”

“Shit!” He gives me a toothy smile before repeating it a few more times.

These babies mispronounce just about everything, but the bad words seem to come out with shocking clarity.

“Don’t say that.”

He gives me a knowing grin—the little divots in his cheeks becoming more pronounced. “Shit not nice?”

“Nope. Not nice, little dude.” Wasn’t nice the last five hundred times Raven corrected his little naughty ass, either. I try to refrain from laughing, as to not encourage it, and fail miserably.

The grandparents are going to hate me for returning these kids broken. Ah well, it’s their fault for leaving them with me in the first place. Who in their right mind would send a couple of babies to live on a tour bus with a bunch of male musicians and roadies?

“Uh, Way-way?” He looks around the room, holding his palms up and cocking his little head to the side.

“Ray-ray,” I say, shutting off the water and waiting for it to drain completely so I can turn it back on and start fresh. “Will be here later.”

I grab a clean washcloth and lather it up, scrubbing him down one more time before quickly spraying him off, so the water doesn’t collect again. The drainage in these bus bathrooms is awful. But it’s never been more than a minor inconvenience up until now.

“Come on.” I lift him from the tub, wrap him in a towel, and lug him to the living room, where Anika has already put a new dress on Ava and is deeply engaged with putting her curls up in pigtails.

“Please tell me you know how to use one of these?” I hold a diaper out waving it in the space between us.

She rolls her eyes, pulling the ponies tight before sending Ava on her way. “You can’t be serious?”